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[Heliomance]

I have been sigged thrice in the past two days.  I am on a roll!

So tempted to sig...

[Akura]

Build the trade depot out of soap.

And wood. And ash. Next to your Carpenter's Shop, Butchery, Wood Stockpile, Refuse Stockpile, and/or corpse pile(especially indoors). And suspended over magma. With ballistae pointing at it. Whilst making bone bolts out of elf bone in a workshop nearby.

[caknuck]

Just to add the the design of the elf pit of misery...

1) Cover one side of the pit with floor grates.
2) Dig a separate burrow of bedrooms or apartment complex that is unconnected to the remainder of the fortress. Design it so that dwarves walking from the bedrooms have to walk across the floor grates.
3) Assign bedrooms in the new apartment complex to only the cave-adapted dwarves.
4) Repeatedly toggle their job assignments on and off so they spend plenty of time walking across the pit, spewing chunks as they go.

[NW_Kohaku]

Just to add the the design of the elf pit of misery...

1) Cover one side of the pit with floor grates.
2) Dig a separate burrow of bedrooms or apartment complex that is unconnected to the remainder of the fortress. Design it so that dwarves walking from the bedrooms have to walk across the floor grates.
3) Assign bedrooms in the new apartment complex to only the cave-adapted dwarves.
4) Repeatedly toggle their job assignments on and off so they spend plenty of time walking across the pit, spewing chunks as they go.

Ahhhh, once Toady gets around to having a "Set Latrine Zone" function...

[darkrider2]

When you build your soap trade depot make sure you put it close enough to the glass elf room so that elven traders can see it.

this thread is awesome... someone has to do these things.

EDIT: my map has sand and a forest... beginning new project.

[NW_Kohaku]

I'm trying to think of more ways to be even crueller than the stuff I've already thought of... but it's pretty hard.

Here's what else I've got:

Make another chamber near the first one, with all glass windows so that everyone, Dwarf and Elf alike can watch... make it like the "Goblin Repeater" setup, with another door controlled by lever remotely that lets someone into that chamber, then close it behind them.  Preferably one of the children spawned inside the fortress.  The "bait" will just be an exit off of this God-forsaken Hell-hole you have stuck them in, which should be plenty enough.  Now then, instead of just having a repeater that keeps changing something back and forth, put a couple wooden scourge traps in there.

Hopefully, this will allow a child to smell a whiff of that sweet, blissful thing called "freedom" for the first time in their life, and they will make a mad dash for the door.  They will brave any scourging for a chance at escape, and run straight through that thrashing time and again, only to see the door slam shut right in their faces every time, and the pointing and laughing of dwarves on their drink breaks taking bets on how many "laps" they can complete, and their parents watch, crying as the runner slowly gets flogged to death, knowing nothing of peace or dignity for their entire miserable, yet blissfully short lives.

It's crueller to give them hope when we all know that there is none.

... Hmm... I think I might need help from this point on.  As much as it scares me to say it, I think at this point, I'm about evilled out.  Can someone post some good automated torture device ideas?

[Blackburn]

...Instead of butchering the catsploding cats, toss the kittens in there.

[NW_Kohaku]

...Instead of butchering the catsploding cats, toss the kittens in there.

Nonsense, they love cats... that's why you butcher them, and make it rain kitten heads on their nature-loving heads.

[Blackburn]

...Instead of butchering the catsploding cats, toss the kittens in there.

Nonsense, they love cats... that's why you butcher them, and make it rain kitten heads on their nature-loving heads.

No, no, you put the cats in there so they'll suffer in the hole with the elves.

Nothing is more depressing than a suffering cat.

Though, combining those two could work. Kill one, toss in two...

[NW_Kohaku]

No, no, you put the cats in there so they'll suffer in the hole with the elves.

Nothing is more depressing than a suffering cat.

Though, combining those two could work. Kill one, toss in two...

Oh, it didn't even occur to me that someone would want to torture a non-sentient, I don't see the point in it.

[Blackburn]

No, no, you put the cats in there so they'll suffer in the hole with the elves.

Nothing is more depressing than a suffering cat.

Though, combining those two could work. Kill one, toss in two...

Oh, it didn't even occur to me that someone would want to torture a non-sentient, I don't see the point in it.

Torturing the non-sentient serves as further torture for the (barely) sentient.

Non-sentient being cat and (barely) sentient being elves.

The point is to make the elves more sad and emo.

[Akura]

What about those thermonuclear cats? Or does that require a new fortress to mod in?

[Blackburn]

What about those thermonuclear cats? Or does that require a new fortress to mod in?

I think it does require a reboot but...if not...

Hey, you're killing them with what they love. That's like beating a musician to death with a guitar.

...I want that last comment to be a part of Dwarf Fortress at some point in the future.

[NW_Kohaku]

What about those thermonuclear cats? Or does that require a new fortress to mod in?

I think it does require a reboot but...if not...

Hey, you're killing them with what they love. That's like beating a musician to death with a guitar.

...I want that last comment to be a part of Dwarf Fortress at some point in the future.

Actually, I think that some (of the better) musicians would actually prefer to die by guitar... I mean, death by guitar duel (or guitar ninja strike) would be awesome.

Anyway, all you have to change is the [homeotherm] value, so no regen is required.

Still, dropping the kitty bomb would just kill them.  And they wouldn't even feel the fire, either.  So that's just a waste, and would give them the death they don't even deserve.

[Blackburn]

What about those thermonuclear cats? Or does that require a new fortress to mod in?

I think it does require a reboot but...if not...

Hey, you're killing them with what they love. That's like beating a musician to death with a guitar.

...I want that last comment to be a part of Dwarf Fortress at some point in the future.

Actually, I think that some (of the better) musicians would actually prefer to die by guitar... I mean, death by guitar duel (or guitar ninja strike) would be awesome.

Anyway, all you have to change is the [homeotherm] value, so no regen is required.

Still, dropping the kitty bomb would just kill them.  And they wouldn't even feel the fire, either.  So that's just a waste, and would give them the death they don't even deserve.

Picky picky...

Well, when they're all done and crazy and you're bored of 'em, how would you kill 'em?