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[Psionystic]

So, I unfortunately did not get a screen capture of this, but in my most recent fort, an elven diplomat appeared at the trade depot on the first day of spring, seven or eight years in, and put up a message in the middle of the screen.  Not the usual black screen with writing of diplomats, but a pop-up like on embark warning of aquifers.  The diplomat offered congratulations on my respect for the forest, for not chopping down a single tree, and expressed happiness that the dwarves had become more like their elven brethren.

I'm on tundra.  With no underground water source.  My only source of wood is from my trusty depot.  This was a very easy challenge to fulfill for me.

I did a search on here, but could find nothing about this sort of occurence.  Anyone ever had this happen to them before?

[Blackburn]

Elves are morons. They're happy as long as you don't cut down trees, even if there aren't any trees to cut down.

[100killer9]

Happy elves? This can't be. Use magma on them.

[Rat Of Wisdom]

Happy elves? This can't be. Use magma on them.

That would merely turn them from happy elves to burnt elves. Very quickly. While amusing, this does not really provide a satisfactory solution.

No, you must truly crush their spirits. Wall them into separate 1x1 glass cubicles near your woodworking and furnaces. If you don't have glass, use gem windows. Bonus points if each pair of cubicles can be emptied into an arena where the now surely berzerking elves can fight it out.

[Blackburn]

Arm dwarven champions with wooden weapons and pit them against an elf siege.

Slaughter them with the trees they cherish so much.

From their perspective, the massacre is twice as horrible.

[NW_Kohaku]

Make it clear glass - elves hate clear glass because it is made with the ashes of former trees.  If you're going to stab someone just to hear them scream, you might as well twist the knife while you're at it.

[Aspgren]

Now hold up just a second. Before we put on our +<=steel helms=>+ and fight the anti-elven crusade... we might want to discuss exactly what this means. and what possible benefits it will give.
I'm not saying we should even consider getting along with the elves, I'm just saying this might be exploitable.

If you're going to stab someone just to hear them scream, you might as well twist the knife while you're at it.

Sig'd

[Blackburn]

Now hold up just a second. Before we put on our +<=steel helms=>+ and fight the anti-elven crusade... we might want to discuss exactly what this means. and what possible benefits it will give.
I'm not saying we should even consider getting along with the elves, I'm just saying this might be exploitable.

If you're going to stab someone just to hear them scream, you might as well twist the knife while you're at it.

Sig'd

It means the elves will probably be happy with you.

Which is useless because when they're happy, they'll bring lots of cheap cloth.

Now, this might be useful at first, but you really don't need that much cloth.

If the elves are ticked off, however, they'll bring you crops, which you can use for food.

If you have your cloth and food needs covered, just ignore 'em. Or kill 'em. With wooden/glass weapons.

[Aspgren]

It means the elves will probably be happy with you.

Which is useless because when they're happy, they'll bring lots of cheap cloth.

Now, this might be useful at first, but you really don't need that much cloth.

If the elves are ticked off, however, they'll bring you crops, which you can use for food.

If you have your cloth and food needs covered, just ignore 'em. Or kill 'em. With wooden/glass weapons.

How happy do you need to keep them to get exotic animals? Should you like ... seize the market one year and spoil them rotten the next?

[Blackburn]

It means the elves will probably be happy with you.

Which is useless because when they're happy, they'll bring lots of cheap cloth.

Now, this might be useful at first, but you really don't need that much cloth.

If the elves are ticked off, however, they'll bring you crops, which you can use for food.

If you have your cloth and food needs covered, just ignore 'em. Or kill 'em. With wooden/glass weapons.

How happy do you need to keep them to get exotic animals? Should you like ... seize the market one year and spoil them rotten the next?

I think keeping them ticked off will get them to bring animals too.

But in case you don't already know, those animals might not be in healthy condition when you buy them...

[Aspgren]

I know .. but all I want is a breeding pair. I still remember a giant cougar they sold me ... he had a heart condition and died after 2 years.

[NW_Kohaku]

Now hold up just a second. Before we put on our +<=steel helms=>+ and fight the anti-elven crusade... we might want to discuss exactly what this means. and what possible benefits it will give.
I'm not saying we should even consider getting along with the elves, I'm just saying this might be exploitable.

If you're going to stab someone just to hear them scream, you might as well twist the knife while you're at it.

Sig'd

I have been sigged thrice in the past two days.  I am on a roll!

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edit: Oh, and about getting elves to trade you animals...

You can modify [trade_capacity] on the camels/donkeys/mules/muskoxen to make them carry more junk.

However, use moderation...  I just put a couple extra zeros on the end of it, assuming that, "hey, I let a couple of them get eaten by goblins and forgot that trading food in a wood barrel would piss them off in the last two years, so they wouldn't bring THAT much crap, right?"

Yeah, cut my FPS down to 12, over a month later they STILL couldn't unload the damn caravan...  And they were only bringing 5 camels with them!

So if you're going to modify those camels, no more than one order of magnitude, 'k?

[Sphalerite]

I've seen the happy elf diplomat message several times when building fortresses in deserts, mountains, or other places with no trees to cut down.  But in my experience it's always been in the usual black screen diplomat text rather than a pop-up announcement box.

[Jyppa]

Step one: confine pointy-eared hippies in small chamber with bridge for roof.
Step two: designate bridge as garbage dump, mark all your ashes for dumping.
Step three: open bridge, watch the ash rain.
Step four: cut down more trees.
Repeat until bored or deforested.
Bonus points: also throw in a few corpses for miasma fun.
Double bonus: Throw in a single wooden weapon and have an elf score at least one berserk kill with it.

[Rat Of Wisdom]

Step one: confine pointy-eared hippies in small chamber with bridge for roof.
Step two: designate bridge as garbage dump, mark all your ashes for dumping.
Step three: open bridge, watch the ash rain.
Step four: cut down more trees.
Repeat until bored or deforested.
Bonus points: also throw in a few corpses for miasma fun.
Double bonus: Throw in a single wooden weapon and have an elf score at least one berserk kill with it.

This works so much better if the ashes are the kind you get from wasting fire imps. Then at least you're not wasting valuable materials on the tree-huggers.

This would, of course, mean a fire imp farm. Which could be combined with the elf sanatorium/battle arena for so much more fun.