Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[Jackrabbit]

The least you could have done was throw down some booze and seasoning. Abyssal Monsters that Creatures of the Light Know Not Of aren't savages, y'know. Sharing's caring.

[druid91]

The least you could have done was throw down some booze and seasoning. Abyssal Monsters that Creatures of the Light Know Not Of aren't savages, y'know. Sharing's caring.

May I sig?

[Jackrabbit]

You may indeed.

[Satarus]

I had a metal statue that had just been sitting in my gem encruster's workshop for years.  It had nearly every gem encrusted on it.  I think I eventually put it in my (non-adamantine) King's throne room.

[wagawaga]

This thread inspired me a challenge: decorate, stud, sew etc a completely worthless item with every material in game.

Bonus: do it in Dig Deeper.

[Biag]

This thread inspired me a challenge: decorate, stud, sew etc a completely worthless item with every material in game.

Bonus: do it in Dig Deeper.

Extra bonus: mod in books as a craft item. Encrust/decorate/stud a book with every material in the game. Because real dwarves don't have pictures in their books, they MAKE THE PAGES OUT OF THE STONE THEY ARE ABOUT.

[CaptApollo12]

This thread inspired me a challenge: decorate, stud, sew etc a completely worthless item with every material in game.

Bonus: do it in Dig Deeper.

Extra bonus: mod in books as a craft item. Encrust/decorate/stud a book with every material in the game. Because real dwarves don't have pictures in their books, they MAKE THE PAGES OUT OF THE STONE THEY ARE ABOUT.

Makes my day

[NW_Kohaku]

Actually, I think it would be funnier if it were something even more pointless: a single birch/pine/whatever arrow would probably be best for the sheer pointlessness of it.

edit: If you can't get elves to shoot arrows at you (try harder!), you could also just make it out of a single masterwork elf bone bolt from a stack fired at an archery target.

[Gazz]

If an arrow is encrusted with 50 pounds of fine gems it should be usable as a ballista projectile.

[UristMcGunsmith]

Better yet, decorate a wood arrow with EVERYTHING you can, then toss it into a chasm. Most pointless item ever.

[NW_Kohaku]

No, you put that wood arrow into a weapon trap, silly.  Then release an untamed groundhog where it will run over the weapon trap.

Bonus points if whatever creature you release over it survives and heals.

edit: alternate idea: chain a crippled tame animal over the weapon trap, if the animal has an injury that makes them occasionally stunned.  Better if this is a crippled kitten, or some other tiny, harmless animal.  Otherwise, go with one of your own crippled dwarves, in a 1-dwarf squad, sitting over the weapon trap that will shoot him with the ultimate platinum class deluxe arrow whenever he gets his stun effect.

In this case, bonus for what qualifies as a miniaturized megaproject whose sole purpose was to kill a single one of your own dwarves who probably would have died of his own wounds, anyway. 

The ultimate expression of Dwarf Fortress: To spend several years meticulously searching for and hoarding every item type in the game, putting them all together with the greatest of craftsmanship, and using them for the sole and specific purpose of hurting yourself in the least efficient manner dwarfenly imaginable!

edit again: Susquipidalian Locquaciousness bonus points for crippling the dwarf yourself just to qualify for the previous challenge.  Hurting yourself on purpose in a roundabout way to be able to hurt yourself in an even more elaborate and wasteful manner is the sheerest essence of all that is dwarven.

[Jackrabbit]

Beating an intruder to death with your crown jewels.

How appropriately Dwarfish.

[Holy Mittens]

No, you put that wood arrow into a weapon trap, silly.  Then release an untamed groundhog where it will run over the weapon trap.

Bonus points if whatever creature you release over it survives and heals.

edit: alternate idea: chain a crippled tame animal over the weapon trap, if the animal has an injury that makes them occasionally stunned.  Better if this is a crippled kitten, or some other tiny, harmless animal.  Otherwise, go with one of your own crippled dwarves, in a 1-dwarf squad, sitting over the weapon trap that will shoot him with the ultimate platinum class deluxe arrow whenever he gets his stun effect.

In this case, bonus for what qualifies as a miniaturized megaproject whose sole purpose was to kill a single one of your own dwarves who probably would have died of his own wounds, anyway. 

The ultimate expression of Dwarf Fortress: To spend several years meticulously searching for and hoarding every item type in the game, putting them all together with the greatest of craftsmanship, and using them for the sole and specific purpose of hurting yourself in the least efficient manner dwarfenly imaginable!

edit again: Susquipidalian Locquaciousness bonus points for crippling the dwarf yourself just to qualify for the previous challenge.  Hurting yourself on purpose in a roundabout way to be able to hurt yourself in an even more elaborate and wasteful manner is the sheerest essence of all that is dwarven.

More... uh... bonii if the arrow remains lodged in the wound.

[Gazz]

Actually, if thieves enter the fortress, shoot them with gold and gem encrusted arrows.
You'd just give them what they want, right?

[TBot Alpha]

Decorate a weapon trap component like a drill or something, install it in a trap, and have it shred your foes for the rest of time.