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[Demonic Spoon]

Tips and comments:

Mmm, after checking out the save it seems that our loom orders are suspended for some strange reason, you might want to unsuspend them to start getting rid of the webs that're all over the place. Dwarven beer is set to be cooked in the kitchen menu, I dissaprove of booze cooking so I thought I'd mention this. Don't assign a captain of the guard, we have some pending punishments and it could set off another tantrum spiral. For some reason some dwarven wheat flour is forbidden, unforbid it? Start cooking food to free up stockpile space? We have quite a lot of skulls and bones lying around it seems, start making totems and bone bolts? Also the northmost room on the community level was supposed to be livestock storing, stabling and corraling. We have a lot of empty bags? Start milling things? Make more bags if we run out? Train some war dogs? In the orders menu set to use only dyed cloth?

Random thins seem to be forbidden, I suggest {d}-{b}-{c} to check everything out and reclaim some of it. Train up another clothier and dyer. Stop making rock crafts or mugs so that you don't need to dig everywhere for stone. Make bone, cloth and leather crafts instead. Make my dwarf uber strong some more, he isn't superdwarvenly tough yet. Let him pump a bit or something. And give him stone detailing, dyeing, clothesmaking, weaving etc. We have a redundant gem cutter, let him do something useful, not the legendary one, the other one.

[Retro]

Mmm, after checking out the save it seems that our loom orders are suspended for some strange reason, you might want to unsuspend them to start getting rid of the webs that're all over the place. Dwarven beer is set to be cooked in the kitchen menu, I dissaprove of booze cooking so I thought I'd mention this. For some reason some dwarven wheat flour is forbidden, unforbid it? Start cooking food to free up stockpile space? We have quite a lot of skulls and bones lying around it seems, start making totems and bone bolts?

The looms was me because the weavers kept running out onto the mountain and setting off goat attacks plus cancelspam; didn't know about the beer but that explains why every time the kitchens were on we ran out of alcohol; no idea about the flour; there's a single craftsdwarf on constant bone-bolt work for Ilral but forgot about totems.

Ed- but yeah, don't worry about us if you don't want to CE, it's your year to manage however you want :P

[CrimsonEon]

Events of the 2nd of Granite, 306

   After a short introduction in the meeting hall, many dwarves looked at me with suspicion and general dislike, mistaking a doctor for a noble. When I told them the work I'm capable of, lecturing them on the processes of surgery and dissection and the anatomy of orcs and dwarves, they labeled me a Swordsdwarf Noble, and now as someone who can actually do work, have 'postponed' my obligatory execution.

   My inception into this place's society was quick, all it took was two drinks and everyone in the fortress then loved me, except Spoon, when I refused to give him a knife and instead gave him a lecture on how cave swallows are incapable of sight, and that if he stood still they couldn't see him, he ignored me, rather deeming it more important to count the number of stalactites hanging from the ceiling while flailing his arms about for some unknown reason.

Events of the 3rd of Granite, 306

   The mayor called me to a small cavern halfway up the fortress, at the end of the long cavern were two large doors, locked doors apparently, as two dwarves were pressing their ears toward the locks.

   "What's going on here?" I asked

   "Damn leader's gone and locked himself in, he's been going crazy day by day, he must've finally cracked" The mayor returned, stroking his beard

   "And you can't let him out?"

   "Armok, no! He's staying in there, let him rot with his effigies of Cheese and whatnot." The mayor spoke, trying to speak louder over ever increasing screams and moans regarding cheese and orcs from behind the doors

   "We can't just leave some dwarf in some room, it looks like you need all the help you can get."

   "For all we know he's already dead."

   "I can hear noises behind the doors."

   "He's dead, yeh, no, definitely dead. And you just inherited his leadership position."

   "He needs- Wait, what?"

   "Yeh heard me, you're inheritin' his Armok forsaken position, you bloody noble,  effective immediately."

   "Fine, first order of business, let him out."

   "Er- Damn it." He gestured toward the two dwarves positioned near the door, they groaned, and started to work on the locks, "We've reinforced the locks, it'll take a month, perhaps."

   "Second order of business, get Spoon out of the chasm."

   "Oh yeah, 'bout time we get to use that convenient dwarf sized crane."

   "Can't you just dig to him?"

   "Nah, this is more fun." The mayor rubbed his hands together and walked off.

Events of the 10th of Granite, 206

   After getting acquainted with the fortress and my new power as general leader of this place, I've decided to start digging a sewer system that will deliver water further upward and hopefully across the chasm toward the main fortress, assuming it doesn't freeze in transit. Spoon was evicted from his small chasm niche today, and grudgingly returned to his bookkeeping job, albeit insisting on keeping a cave sparrow with him, whom constantly attempts to peck at his eyes, with stunning originality he calls it 'Pecky'

Events of the 21st of Granite, 206

   Elves arrived, and made their way toward the gates, apparently I was supposed to pull the gate's lever to deny them access to the inner Trade Depot, as the others kept pestering me about it as they approached, we now have elven 'Filth' in the fortress, not that I really care about that one way or the other, they bring wood, wood is good. They also bring cages filled with dead animals, why they insist on bringing the animals through the cold is beyond me, but the cages are worth something.

Events of the 18th of Slate, 206

   Looks like those idiots who sent me ahead actually survived and made it here.

   A Weaver, Blacksmith, two Carpenters, Trapper, Wrestler, Weaponsmith, Stonecrafter, two Masons, Engraver, Animal Trainer, Fish Cleaner, two Herbalists, two Leatherworkers and five Peasants

   They think the danger is gone now that the fortress is here to protect them. Hardly right, they've got Orcs, Cold, AND a Ticked off Noble Doctor on their hands.

Events of the 26th of Slate, 206

The makeshift locksmiths finally got the locks on the former leader "Retro"'s door close to off, and called me to his room to hopefully re-integrate him into society.

I walked down the tunnel again to see the two locksmiths ready to release the locks, I brace for a moment, and nod.

The two dwarves pulled off the last of the locks, and pushed the door inward, almost instantly a figure tumbled out, frantically flailing his arms around. He charged at me with inhuman speed! I tried to evaluate what he was about to do, but within a moment he was right next to me, staring me intimidatingly in the eye.

A Moment of silence, a twitch in his eye, and the dwarf said, "WHERE'S THE CHEESE?"

"Er, yes, I thought it was all in that room."

"IT'S RANCID NOW, I DEMAND TOOLS!" Retro turned to the locksmith dwarves, "CHASM HIM!"

"Sorry, sir." One of the locksmiths returned, "He's boss now."

"WHAT? CHASM THE PERSON THAT MADE THAT DECISION."

"That's not happening anytime soon." I replied, "Now if you're willing to help, we could use your... Unique engravings around some parts of the fortress, lift up some moods and appetites."

"WHAT? Oh, yes... yesyesyes... The dwarven likes of these halls must be garnished with the fine stuff!" Retro ran off toward the stairs, "WITH CHISEL AND HAMMER IN HAND, CHEESE!"

A brief moment of near silence as Retro's cackles faded.

"That'll work." I said bluntly, it doesn't seem to matter what the engravings have, but everyone loves a good work of art nonetheless.

Events of the 7th of Felsite, 206

   The Mayor complains that his mandate hasn't been met, reminding him that I am the leader and there is no fortress guard, I formally remind him that I do not care, and formally order him to stand in the reflecting pools for ten days.

   The Sewer project is going well, mechanics are getting set up and the waterway bridge across the chasm is set, hopefully upon being pumped out or onto the bridge the water won't freeze.

---

Everyone's alive and well, and we get a rather surprising amount of migrants given the death rate here, or maybe it's normal, I'm not used to receiving so many migrants with so many deaths, heck, even getting migrants at all.

I wish I could just memory mod in a cave swallow companion for Spoon, just for the heck of it. And force it to cause minor damage to his eyes and effectively stun him every so often.

Also my FPS is astonishingly good at >100 fps.

[crash2455]

I'm surprised your framerate is that good.

Also, that story brought the lulz.

[Demonic Spoon]

Update, time to squeeze in as much of the old version before the new one comes out while listening to awesome music! 

P.S. Totally random and off topic but wow do I love my legendary architect in my current fortress.

[Samus1111111]

dang... curse comp issues... oh well, please add me to the list again

[crash2455]

You're still there.  That said, I'm not sure how much longer this game will be going, what with the release of DF2010 on the horizon.

[Demonic Spoon]

Umm...it's already out.

[crash2455]

Damn, I really need to keep up with the main page.  I was just going off the Dev Log that said "Next week."

Also, wow.  I love the new frontpage.

[CrimsonEon]

First off, I had a lot of tests this week for my Classes. I have an update, just I haven't written for it.

Second, Df2010's out now, I don't know If I'll be motivated to finish it 

[Demonic Spoon]

C'mon, DF2010 is still pretty buggy, finish up your turn.

[crash2455]

Yeah, we can at least wait for the 40d19 merge.

[Retro]

If you really can't get around to updating, a 'what's going on' or even a played-through save would be nice. I rather enjoyed your updates, but we can push onwards :P

[CrimsonEon]

Eh, it's spring break for me now, once I get bored of pitting Elves versus Giant Cave Spiders and Dragons, I'll finish up that next update, I've played all the way to winter right now, so the next update'll be two seasons

[CrimsonEon]

Events of the 1st of Hematite, 206

   The mayor mandated the construction of 3 War Hammers, I thought I told him to sod off, but he apparently is too stubborn for his own good, I'm considering tossing him into Spoon's former alcove.

Events of the 10th of Hematite, 206

   A dwarf approached me and asked where Aban Godennosing was. Hardly knowing any of the dwarves here anyway, I guessed he was somewhere outside, the dwarf persisted the Aban hasn't been seen anywhere in the fortress, I simply blamed his absence on cave swallowmen. The dwarf, irritated, walked away, with more resolve to find his missing friend.

Events of the 11th of Hematite, 206

   A large number of dwarves have been pestering me today, now complaining about the Craftsdwarf's workshop being locked in, and someone sounding like they're mumbling from inside.

   "Honestly sir, it's bad enough we've got locks on every workshop." A dwarf attempted to gain my attention as I walked toward the door to the workshop

   I pounded my fist onto the door a couple times, "Retro! We don't need more Figurines of Orcs and Cheese now! Get out here!"

   No Response

   "RETRO!" I howled into the door

   "No Retro here, no, no, must get trees, must get gems, must get..." A voice returned

   "Retro, really now."

   "Not Retro, Aban, Aban is what they called me, you give me trees, give me gems..." The voice returned again

   So that's what happened to Aban, another crazy for the fortress, come to think of it, I think he was the very one who 'ordered' me to go ahead to find the fortress. Seeking no more of conversing with him, I turn and walk away, the dwarf that encountered me yesterday now decided to listen to Aban, muttering "You need what? Fine, I'll get it..."

Events of the 14th of Hematite, 206

   The Human caravan arrived today, bringing a large amount of wood and dead caged animals.

Events of 15th of Malachite

   The Mayor encountered me in my room today, shouting obscenities mixed with demands for a billon table in his room.

   "You know what, Mayor? Come with me, I need to show you something." I gestured the Mayor to follow me.

   "Better damn be a good table, for Armok's sake, you've been neglecting your betters day after day after day!" The Mayor rambled as we walked down the hallways, "And when are we getting a fortress guard?! I can't handle all these miscreants in the hallways, denying me my warhammers, denying me MY backpacks! I-"

   Now at the bridged entrance, I seized his neck and pointed his head down into the crack I used to communicate with Spoon through, "Make another demand, that is where you are going, are we Clear?"

   The Mayor coughed under my hold, "Damn it, Enolic, you're a doctor, a Noble, just a figurehead, you don't have any power here!"

   "Don't I? You gave it to me, and after all, I am a Noble, aren't I? This Fortress has no power over any other dwarven kingdom, much less even the environment outside! I'm not even sure if you get the picture, being a Noble, I have other kingdoms behind me, you do not, I am in charge here, you are not."

   The Mayor attempted to laugh under his breath, "Just wait 'till another dwarf in this fortress hears that, you'll be Chasmed in no time."

   "Just the thing, who's the one demanding Billon tables and Warhammers? Not me." I smirked

   I released my chokehold on him and walked into the fortress again. I probably just dug my own grave, declaring that I was a Noble, but then again, It feels nice to feel like I can threaten Mayors all I want.

Events of 17th of Malachite

   It was a moment of truth today, I stood in front of a lever sitting next to the doorway leading into the sewer system's tunnels, half the fortress is gathered behind me, the other half holed up in their rooms, afraid of an impending flood.

   I placed my hand upon the lever, "As makeshift leader of this fortress, I now declare the sewer system..." I heaved the lever into it's opposite direction,

   "OPEN!"

   ---

   The whole fortress fell silent
   
   Nothing happened.

   "Oh, whoops, sorry sir," Adil Olkimafol, our local engineer spoke up, "Forgot this 'un." He pulled a small cog out of his beard, turned the lever in the other direction, and placed it somewhere within it's base.

   My eye twitched in irritation, "I delcare!... Oh sod it" I flipped the lever again.

   A large rushing sound occurred, water soon rushed behind the door, everyone in the fortress rushed to a small portcullis on the side of the bridge across the chasm, water rushed out onto a small bridge that was created to ferry the water across, surprisingly not freezing, and out into the other side.

   I turned to some of the other dwarves, "Fan out and check for leaks! I want to see this fortress completely dry of water! And hopefully no carp, no carp would be good..."

Events of 25th of Malachite

   The fortress was ablaze today, dwarf after dwarf ran past my office toward the workshop levels. Now irritated with the amount of noise outside my office, I pull one dwarf aside, looking at him and the cave swallow on his shoulder, I realize it's Spoon, "The ruddy hell is going on down there that's so important?"

   "Eh?" The somewhat drunk Spoon turned to me, "Oh yeh, there's definitely a leak down ther-"

   "What?! My design was perfect! How the hell did a leak-"

   Spoon turned and laughed heartily, "Jus' kiddin' sir, it's Aban, 'pparently he made something brilliant."

   "Something brilliant, from someone holed up in a Craftsdwarf's workshop for about a month now I wouldn't believe it"

   "Suit yerself" Spoon began walking downstairs again, I turned to follow him

   Upon reaching the Workshop floor I begin to consider execution methods, "If he's made some bracelet or some figuring or an idol or something I ought to-"

   We turned around a corner to see a large gathering of dwarves around Aban, now holding up a large set of... Pants it seems.

   "Well I'll be, something useful." Spoon stated, from his shoulder, Pecky decides to try to gouge his right eye, "Damn it, Pecky! Get off!"

   I approach the now proud looking Aban and inquire him about the leggings.

   Aban laughed, "Cave lobster chitin, took a damn lot of it, take a look at it yourself."

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

   "Very excellent, Aban. You give a name to it?" I asked

   "Well, 'The Hand of Flaying' was written all over the place when I came to, so I guess I'll call it that."

   I guess I'll postpone his Hanging/Crushing/Magma Burning/Chasming death 'till later. He deserves some moment of glory before it.

Events of 6th of Galena
   
   The Group of Dwarves working on my floor of the tower report that my tower's floor is just about done. I send them to work on the mechanics for my new project, a small meeting room below, complete with a working waterfall using the new Sewer System.

---

Okay, it's just one season for this post, but I'm still working on it.