---
8th Granite, 305; upon which we efficiently dealt with our untimely visitors~I stepped back from the embossed wall and admired my own considerably-impressive work. Yes,
yes, it was perfect. Just… one last thing. I quickly pressed my fists into the wall and beat out one last image. There.
A clerk passed by in the hallway behind me; once the ruler of this tower, he had abandoned his post to manage the inner workings of the Tower. So be it. Let me hold the reins of power then; I shall not falter when you cross my steed’s mighty path.
“You there, O Spoony one!” I called out.
The dwarf turned to me, one eye twitching, and made some sort of half-giggle-half-grunt noise. I suppose that would have to do for a response. I’d heard the poor soul was mad.
“Aye, friend; prithee come here and examine this masterpiece. Fine, is it not?”
He doddling over and leaned in, sense fully taking in my art. Then: “Whassat s’posed to be, then?”
“What do you mean?”
“That big sloshy bit.”
“That’s an orc.”
“…That’s an
orc?”
I found myself growing brittle and rigid. “Indeed, simpleton! Fool! Low-minded bootshiner!” At this he tilted his head; ah, for I had struck with him a nerve! “Yea! you, with a beard of no un-unkempt matter! ‘Tis an orc, not that thee can witness, but observe! here, in the corner!”
“Eh?”
“Cheese, my good sir, cheese!”
“I—”
“
Cheese!”
“Yeh, um, listen, right, about the elves.”
My eyes belied my aura of calmness and control. “The elves?” I asked, stonelike in my cool.
“Yeah, so they’re coming over down the mountainside now, n’ I’s just wondering what we got ready for
I scoffed, and turned back to my art. “I don’t have time to deal with such trivialties. Chasm them.”
The dwarf’s silence was enough to reveal his surprise. “Wot?” he asked. “Ye can’t chasm
elves, you—”
“Bore me not. Chasm them.”
He tapped me on the shoulder rather arrogantly. “No, look, I don’t know what ye’re—”
I turned around an unleashed the brunt of my wrath upon him, much like a amass-ation of water behind a shoddily-constructed dam. “You, dwarf!” I shouted, voice tremoring with seething rage. “Do you wish to undertake the consequences of disobeying my actions? You dare to
defy me? And you think I shall be accepting of your failure, of your misery, tripe, and ineffectualness in general?! Chasm the bloody elves else have
ME to deal with!!”
…
---
26th Granite, in which we didst begin construction of the New and Glorious Tower~Construction has begun; at last we again proceed Up. There has been reluctance, yes, but we are ready. Surely there too will be space enough for a grand hall of my own? We shall have to see, for it is known far and wide that I am certainly deserving. Afore that too we didst create a grand blockade of rock within our watery riviera; and in stemming it we have surely appeased the gods of Effpi-ess. But alack, alack, alack; back to my artwork. I cannot lose Direction now.
---
14th Slate, upon our Defenses did Blossom~I order the construction of a twin depot, a gemini to our better-gemini. It is placed outside the walls in hopes that the elvenfolk shall alight there and draw off our enemies; it is good that they now serve a purpose.
Deeper yet within the entrance our barracks have carved themselves out of the wall, of so it would seem. Lor and Kogan, two slackers not worthy of Up, were enlisted into our army, now three dwarves strong. They proceed to spar, though armourless, and oft seem stronger for it. I saw it fit as Lord and Grand High Majesty of the Tower and The Up to majesticize the laneways as well. All visitors will tremble at the sight of cheese and circles!!!
We feared goats would raid us once more; in the early Slate they saw fit to loiter outside our hallowed Grounds and we could do naught but cancel our jobs eternally and flip the fuck out. Yet the bleating monstrosities did us a favour yet – tracking and eating the leg of a verminous kobold skumm! I begin to fear these theiving filth anew and order puppies to guard the entry hall.
---
19th Felsite, wherein Excitement occurs!! oh, be still mine Pulse~We undertook the means to roof off the bridges that our beneathlands Tower enlists in crossing the mighty Rift; alas, the men are too fearful of the dark creatures within the chasm even upon fear of chasming and a small hole was left open in these defenses. As it were a ragged man-bat-thingy leapt onto the bridgeway and screeched hideously!! Earnestly I called to Kogan the mighty wrestler but it was over with rapid immediacy; a dog had om nom nom nom nom no more bat tee hee.
Yes, we do continue our work towards the great Direction of Up; I must keep my wits cool, even in the chill air. Without such artistic license I shall never drive us to the clouds above!! Even now I feel my hands itch, aching for a chisel, urging to… cheese. cheese. cheese. cheese.
My head is sore. I hear… I have been having a dream. The same one, every night… no. no. no. no. no. no.
enough.
no. cheese, only.
I return to my art. It is freedom. It is everything. It is. It. it. it. cheese.
---
Oh man, I am having fucking fun.
We seem to be pretty well-stocked supply-wise. The only real trouble I'm having with the fort is the endless amount of cancelled job spam. Even suspending jobs at the loom didn't help. And the dwarves constructing my grand, amourous floor seem to be afraid of the batmen in the chasm. I'm considering taking our sole marksdwarf and creating a tunnel/carved fortification system and clearing out the bastards.