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Author Topic: "Unfortunate Accidents"  (Read 3242 times)

Doro

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Re: "Unfortunate Accidents"
« Reply #30 on: March 01, 2010, 05:39:50 am »

HORRIBLE accident happened to my count after he banned export of copper goblets just before caravan from mountainhomes arrived. (i made dozens of goblets so i could buy steel) when my happy little count was going to get rum, miner "accidentally" dug into magmapipe causing it flood into booze stockpile. Explosioon shook whole fortress but luckily no1 else got hurt.
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PresidentEvil

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Re: "Unfortunate Accidents"
« Reply #31 on: March 01, 2010, 10:49:57 am »

My tax collector recently met with a horrific end. You see, the marksdwarf corps was quite displeased with the way his mandates for steel statues and weapon racks was using up a large quantity of steel bars that otherwise would have been manufactured into new platemail for them to wear. In addition, the fort's best metalsmith, and only skilled armorer, had recently been arrested for failing to produce said statues, further delaying the arrival of their new armor. Understandably, some of these marksdwarves decided to vent some steam down at the new firing range.

However, due to an architectural oversight, the only path to the tax collector's quarters happened to run through the middle of the firing range, between the marksdwarves and archery targets! And to make things even worse, the tax collector was on the way back to his bedroom for a nap, in clear violation of established range safety protocols! Predictably, he did not make it very far before taking a round through the throat and bleeding to death on the way to the hospital beds.

Worst of all, his numerous statues and weapon racks could not be moved to his opulent tomb, because some careless dwarf accidentally put them in the melt pile! Unacceptable!
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I will mod in plastic as a resource.  I will then tweak the Dwarven civ entry so that coins are only made out of plastic, and are called "credit cards".
I will make dwarves purchase things with bushels of credit cards.  It will be a mockery of both systems.
It will be stupid.  But it will be gloriously stupid.

BigD145

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Re: "Unfortunate Accidents"
« Reply #32 on: March 01, 2010, 11:13:03 am »

HORRIBLE accident happened to my count after he banned export of copper goblets just before caravan from mountainhomes arrived. (i made dozens of goblets so i could buy steel) when my happy little count was going to get rum, miner "accidentally" dug into magmapipe causing it flood into booze stockpile. Explosioon shook whole fortress but luckily no1 else got hurt.

My Mayor decided to ban "bins" right before the caravan arrived. Guess where I store everything?  >:(
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LoneJedi7

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  • The CaKE is A LIE
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Re: "Unfortunate Accidents"
« Reply #33 on: March 01, 2010, 11:35:09 am »

My Mayor decided to ban "bins" right before the caravan arrived. Guess where I store everything?  >:(
thats why you have a fast acting system set up, just in case you need a noble gone ASAP. (only to be used in the event of emergencies)  or you can just seize everything from the merchants.......that works too.
« Last Edit: March 01, 2010, 12:46:14 pm by LoneJedi7 »
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ℍ!Ξ[/[Θ]![ℍ∑▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀▀)

Sir Iryn

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Re: "Unfortunate Accidents"
« Reply #34 on: March 01, 2010, 03:21:05 pm »

As far as fast acting systems go, there's nothing quicker than a 1x1 locked room with a lever and fortifications on one side, and a ballista on the other side of the fortifications.

Just set the noble on the workshop profile, set a pull job on repeat, when he walks in, forbid the door, then set the ballista to fire at will. super quick and easy, with the added benefit of training for your siege operators.
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When in deadly danger,
When beset by doubt,
Run in little circles,
Wave your arms and shout.
"Well, everything's going to shit, but on the bright side, My coffin industry is doing very well."

shadowform

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Re: "Unfortunate Accidents"
« Reply #35 on: March 01, 2010, 03:30:06 pm »

My Mayor decided to ban "bins" right before the caravan arrived. Guess where I store everything?  >:(
Open trade goods selection -> turn off 'Culling based on mandates' -> manually trade items instead of trading bins full of items.  It's not a crime to bring items TO the trade depot; only to actually export them.

Perhaps you should posthumously honor your former mayor with a statue garden built in his honor?

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Q: What do you get when you take 100 clear glass windows, 1000 silver bars, 6700 gold bars, and 18,000 marble blocks?

A: A very large wall.

"Alright, here's Helltooth... Harborfence... Urist, come get GenericBlade... and you. Welcome to the Danger Room. First timers get good ol' Ballswallowed. Have fun and try not to take off your own toe."

darkrider2

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Re: "Unfortunate Accidents"
« Reply #36 on: March 01, 2010, 10:50:14 pm »

Finally Sadly my mayor died today.  I'm not sure just what he was thinking... but my guess is he saw something shiny through the window and decided he must have it.  He went to pull the lever to open up the room and get what is rightfully his... I can fully understand.

But he pulled the wrong lever and locked himself in a 2 square dwarven airlock! In realization that he would run out of air in only a few seconds he desperately pulled the lever nearest him... and wen't stumbling through the now open door.

There was air but I suppose the 7 (now insane) elves didn't feel like sharing the air and killed him. I watched as he attempted to claw his way to the nearest lever just before being pulled into the darkness... screaming. What a successful use of the elven hell project! shame.
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