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Author Topic: The strangest/funniest/etc. thing you've ever heard an NPC say.  (Read 5261 times)

Dwarven WMD

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The strangest/funniest/etc. thing you've ever heard an NPC say.
« on: February 14, 2010, 06:29:15 pm »
Basically as the title suggests.
What is the funniest/strangest/whatever thing you've ever heard a NPC say?

For me, it was
"who cried like a little girl as I deprived him of his manhood,"

I don't remember who he said or what he said before that, but it gave me a good laugh when I saw it.
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The Russian throws Steiner into a chair, screaming "I do not care about genetic research!"
The Russian pulls out a M1911!
The Russian screams "I am Viktor Reznov! And I, will, have, my, REVENGE!"
The Russian shoots Steiner between the eyes.
The Russian loses juice.

valcon

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Re: The strangest/funniest/etc. thing you've ever heard an NPC say.
« Reply #1 on: February 14, 2010, 06:49:58 pm »
Probably praise fish.

Short, sweet, and fucking weird.
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Still doing Let's Plays, still got a gold toof. 

Adventure Mode:  The Movie!

Dwarven WMD

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Re: The strangest/funniest/etc. thing you've ever heard an NPC say.
« Reply #2 on: February 14, 2010, 06:57:42 pm »
Quote from: valcon on February 14, 2010, 06:49:58 pm
Probably praise fish.

Short, sweet, and fucking weird.

They have the strangest religions about the weirdest things.
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The Russian throws Steiner into a chair, screaming "I do not care about genetic research!"
The Russian pulls out a M1911!
The Russian screams "I am Viktor Reznov! And I, will, have, my, REVENGE!"
The Russian shoots Steiner between the eyes.
The Russian loses juice.

Acanthus117

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Re: The strangest/funniest/etc. thing you've ever heard an NPC say.
« Reply #3 on: February 14, 2010, 07:00:22 pm »
"When you wake up in the morning, consider suicide." a human priest, who i then strangled. I assumed he was telling me i sucked at life, but then I realized he worshiped a god of suicide. I then had a great time slaughtering them. I love random religion spheres.
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Is apparently a Lizardman. ಠ_ಠ
Quote from: Janet on June 20, 2010, 10:44:26 pm
YOU DOUBLE PENIS
"The pessimist is either always right or pleasantly surprised; he cherishes that which is good because he knows it cannot last."

Jacob/Lee

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Re: The strangest/funniest/etc. thing you've ever heard an NPC say.
« Reply #4 on: February 14, 2010, 07:11:40 pm »
I got a quest for killing a giant....

"HE WAS MERCILESS!! He stole prickle berry!"
« Last Edit: February 15, 2010, 12:41:16 am by Jacob/Lee »
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Acanthus117

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Re: The strangest/funniest/etc. thing you've ever heard an NPC say.
« Reply #5 on: February 14, 2010, 07:16:21 pm »
Quote from: Jacob/Lee on February 14, 2010, 07:11:40 pm
I got a quest for killing a giant....

"HE WAS MERCILESS!!He stole prickle berry!"

DEAR GOD HE STOLE THE PRICKLE BERRY WE ARE ALL FUCKED! HEAD FOR THE HILLS!

I'm sigging that.
Logged
Is apparently a Lizardman. ಠ_ಠ
Quote from: Janet on June 20, 2010, 10:44:26 pm
YOU DOUBLE PENIS
"The pessimist is either always right or pleasantly surprised; he cherishes that which is good because he knows it cannot last."

Dwarven WMD

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Re: The strangest/funniest/etc. thing you've ever heard an NPC say.
« Reply #6 on: February 14, 2010, 07:30:03 pm »
Quote from: Jacob/Lee on February 14, 2010, 07:11:40 pm
I got a quest for killing a giant....

"HE WAS MERCILESS!!He stole prickle berry!"

The first quest I ever got was that a puppy stole a fish and the leader wanted me to kill the puppy.
I didn't even KNOW puppies could do that!
Logged
The Russian throws Steiner into a chair, screaming "I do not care about genetic research!"
The Russian pulls out a M1911!
The Russian screams "I am Viktor Reznov! And I, will, have, my, REVENGE!"
The Russian shoots Steiner between the eyes.
The Russian loses juice.

Acanthus117

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Re: The strangest/funniest/etc. thing you've ever heard an NPC say.
« Reply #7 on: February 14, 2010, 07:36:16 pm »
DF: a game where town leaders have adventurers kill innocent puppies for stealing fish.
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Is apparently a Lizardman. ಠ_ಠ
Quote from: Janet on June 20, 2010, 10:44:26 pm
YOU DOUBLE PENIS
"The pessimist is either always right or pleasantly surprised; he cherishes that which is good because he knows it cannot last."

Dwarven WMD

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Re: The strangest/funniest/etc. thing you've ever heard an NPC say.
« Reply #8 on: February 14, 2010, 07:47:19 pm »
Quote from: Acanthus117 on February 14, 2010, 07:36:16 pm
DF: a game where town leaders have adventurers kill innocent puppies for stealing fish.
If DF was advertised I wonder how many people that sentence would attract.  :P
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The Russian throws Steiner into a chair, screaming "I do not care about genetic research!"
The Russian pulls out a M1911!
The Russian screams "I am Viktor Reznov! And I, will, have, my, REVENGE!"
The Russian shoots Steiner between the eyes.
The Russian loses juice.

Hummingbird

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Re: The strangest/funniest/etc. thing you've ever heard an NPC say.
« Reply #9 on: February 14, 2010, 11:00:58 pm »
Quote from: Dwarven WMD on February 14, 2010, 07:30:03 pm
Quote from: Jacob/Lee on February 14, 2010, 07:11:40 pm
I got a quest for killing a giant....

"HE WAS MERCILESS!!He stole prickle berry!"

The first quest I ever got was that a puppy stole a fish and the leader wanted me to kill the puppy.
I didn't even KNOW puppies could do that!

I had no idea dogs or puppies even existed in adventurer mode! May I ask what version this is?
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Quote from: Reese on February 18, 2010, 04:06:01 pm
Quote from: Genoraven on February 17, 2010, 06:36:15 pm
But Elves aren't Vegetarians. They eat people.
So they are humanitarians.

Dwarven WMD

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Re: The strangest/funniest/etc. thing you've ever heard an NPC say.
« Reply #10 on: February 14, 2010, 11:38:29 pm »
Quote from: Hummingbird on February 14, 2010, 11:00:58 pm
Quote from: Dwarven WMD on February 14, 2010, 07:30:03 pm
Quote from: Jacob/Lee on February 14, 2010, 07:11:40 pm
I got a quest for killing a giant....

"HE WAS MERCILESS!!He stole prickle berry!"

The first quest I ever got was that a puppy stole a fish and the leader wanted me to kill the puppy.
I didn't even KNOW puppies could do that!

I had no idea dogs or puppies even existed in adventurer mode! May I ask what version this is?
40d. I've seen puppies and dogs around before, but very rarely.
Logged
The Russian throws Steiner into a chair, screaming "I do not care about genetic research!"
The Russian pulls out a M1911!
The Russian screams "I am Viktor Reznov! And I, will, have, my, REVENGE!"
The Russian shoots Steiner between the eyes.
The Russian loses juice.

Jacob/Lee

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Re: The strangest/funniest/etc. thing you've ever heard an NPC say.
« Reply #11 on: February 15, 2010, 12:38:33 am »
Quote from: Hummingbird on February 14, 2010, 11:00:58 pm
Quote from: Dwarven WMD on February 14, 2010, 07:30:03 pm
Quote from: Jacob/Lee on February 14, 2010, 07:11:40 pm
I got a quest for killing a giant....

"HE WAS MERCILESS!!He stole prickle berry!"

The first quest I ever got was that a puppy stole a fish and the leader wanted me to kill the puppy.
I didn't even KNOW puppies could do that!

I had no idea dogs or puppies even existed in adventurer mode! May I ask what version this is?
I'm using 40d#16

Quote from: Acanthus117 on February 14, 2010, 07:16:21 pm
Quote from: Jacob/Lee on February 14, 2010, 07:11:40 pm
I got a quest for killing a giant....

"HE WAS MERCILESS!!He stole prickle berry!"

DEAR GOD HE STOLE THE PRICKLE BERRY WE ARE ALL FUCKED! HEAD FOR THE HILLS!

I'm sigging that.
I noticed you put "a" in the sentence, that wasn't a grammar error. The town leader actually screamed "HE STOLE PRICKLE BERRY!" at me.


Dwarf Fortress: The game where grammar takes a break half the time.
« Last Edit: February 15, 2010, 12:42:59 am by Jacob/Lee »
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Acanthus117

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Re: The strangest/funniest/etc. thing you've ever heard an NPC say.
« Reply #12 on: February 15, 2010, 12:50:24 am »
I'm a grammar freak most of the time. I WILL DO WHAT I WANT

;D
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Quote from: Janet on June 20, 2010, 10:44:26 pm
YOU DOUBLE PENIS
"The pessimist is either always right or pleasantly surprised; he cherishes that which is good because he knows it cannot last."

Urist McOverlord

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Re: The strangest/funniest/etc. thing you've ever heard an NPC say.
« Reply #13 on: February 15, 2010, 01:51:24 am »
Talking to random dwarf (who for whatever reason was living in a goblin dark fortress):

"My wife is UristMc RandomName
"She is also my cousin
"In year 123 Urist married me"
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Magma: The cause of, and solution to, all life's problems.

Quote from: silverskull39 on March 25, 2010, 07:29:31 pm
If it moves, it wants to kill you. It may not try to, but it wants to.

Skorpion

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Re: The strangest/funniest/etc. thing you've ever heard an NPC say.
« Reply #14 on: February 15, 2010, 01:52:33 am »
'Life is, in a word, socks.'
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The *large serrated steel disk* strikes the Raven in the head, tearing apart the muscle, shattering the skull, and tearing apart the brain!
A tendon in the skull has been torn!
The Raven has been knocked unconcious!

Elves do it in trees. Humans do it in wooden structures. Dwarves? Dwarves do it underground. With magma.
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