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Author Topic: Othor II. RP?  (Read 11299 times)

Dwarf

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Re: Othor II. Many vacancies in Romistra to be filled.
« Reply #105 on: March 15, 2010, 02:20:27 am »

If it's a large city, there must be a walled core and the other stuff's built around it, or you're being unrealistic.
If it's a town, you might as well have a palisade around it. Fits the towny theme and is much easier to expand/tear down etc.
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Quote from: Akura
Now, if we could only mod Giant War Eagles to carry crossbows, we could do strafing runs on the elves who sold the eagles to us in the first place.

Supermikhail

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Re: Othor II. Many vacancies in Romistra to be filled.
« Reply #106 on: March 16, 2010, 01:42:09 pm »

Ok. Scratch, basically, a good half of the previous page...

I must admit, in the past few days I've managed to develop a kind of fantasy city building philosophy. Some points (or aspects, or whatever they have in philosophies) are that you should enjoy and love your city (or town) and not just make it for the plot purposes. If you don't feel like it is your child, don't make it, it just won't fare well. Also, Victor Hugo's description of Paris was boring as hell, and I've never read it completely, and even if Romistra's description in a similar fashion would be real snazzy, a writing should never bore it's reader... Maybe I'm just going mad.

Quote from: Othor II
In the long and deep shadow of the fortifications of Romistra, in intermittent dashes, wary of a chance observer, Nliru the kobold moved up a grassy slope. As soon as investigation was proposed at the council, she volunteered, even though it was customary that she would scout. But the mission smelt of danger, and she felt an itching inside to go and face it, after days of calmness and almost complete emptiness on the road but for wolves who sometimes took her for their prey, to their misfortune. Beside that, she was somewhat tired of friendly and - what's worse - entirely combat experienced company; and if at the top an ambush awaited her - as something at the back of her mind was telling her, despite her consciously dismissing it as ridiculous, - even better.
She paused for the last time, looking back; her companions were nigh invisible on the other side of the valley. Cicadas couldn't be seen anymore, their contest moved away; but now several foxes were giving a performance, probably in the forest nearby, and their clear voices had brought a welcome change. Still, there was no sign of any two-legged creatures.
Nliru started away, and in a couple of moments she was at the base of the wall. She inspected the stones. The town's builders had done a good job: the construction was tight, all the stones even and forming a regular pattern. The wall was about thirty feet high. A solid protection of the city. Nliru took out a dagger and gripped it with her teeth, then started climbing. Her tiny clawed fingers fit into the cracks between the stones like a key into a lock, and palms stuck to surfaces as if glued, and she was near the top in a matter of minutes. She checked again, if any unwanted observers appeared, and then peaked through an embrasure in the battlement.
The wall-walk was completely devoid of any life, to her disappointment. She clambered up onto it, and crouched, taking in the view.
Romistra certainly seemed larger on the inside, than on the outside. The somewhat bumpy slope, down which the town flowed, was strewn with many houses, mostly of yellow stone with blue tiled roofs, gathered in small clusters, stretched in dense rows, or sometimes all by themselves. However, the houses standing alone didn't seem to have the liberty of choosing to do so, as the free space, beside them, if it had some elevation, had in it always a gaping dark entrance to a tunnel, on the side of which some rock debris would be heaped. Most of those entrances were decorated with rock, too, and had rock doors, all but few of which were flung open. There, where the elevation was not sufficient but the ground rich enough for vegetation, strange trees grew. Their trunks were stout, and in place of crowns they had brown bulgings, as if the tuber of a potato or the bean of a turnip was turned upside down, some green leaves sticking out at the top in a ragged ponytail. The tubers had square openings cut out on the sides, that made them look like houses on trees, with windows and doors, and from the thresholds hanging rope walkways led from house to house, connecting them into an overground web. And where these constructions didn't find the place suitable, large plump burrows of earth and stone sprouted up.
The variety of architecture was governed from the crest of the slope by a castle, which looked simple and sturdy, shaped similar to a stone brick, and as monotonously grey at that, yet quite aesthetically appealing. The door of the castle was slightly open, and the banners were flying high above on their poles.
In the middle of the town houses were pushed back by what appeared to be a place of worship. In a wide earthen circle giant slabs of white rock were set upright in the shape of a horseshoe, if viewed from above, and in the middle smaller stones formed an archway, leading to nowhere. An air of mystery hung in the air there.
On the lower end, the town bordered with a river, glistening in the fading sunlight. And the stream seemed more alive than the settlement, as no sign of animate movement rippled the slope with its multitude of man-made features. The windows were dark and the streets were empty.

If I am ever going to write any fiction after Othor II, it's going to take place in an abstract space-time point.
Not like I'm completely dissatisfied. Just maybe in a couple of days someone comes up with some criticism finally. I think it's my first ever landscape writing, and I have no idea if it works or not.

Small edit: @Dwarf: Being realistic is boring. :)
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Armok

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Re: Othor II. Many vacancies in Romistra to be filled.
« Reply #107 on: March 16, 2010, 02:02:18 pm »

Beyond quality.
I'm in awe of your writing skills.
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Dwarf

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Re: Othor II. Many vacancies in Romistra to be filled.
« Reply #108 on: March 16, 2010, 03:52:22 pm »

Of course reality is boring  :D

Really, I can't think of any criticism. Maybe if I think hard for a while. Then again, I'm not a critic.
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Quote from: Akura
Now, if we could only mod Giant War Eagles to carry crossbows, we could do strafing runs on the elves who sold the eagles to us in the first place.

Supermikhail

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Re: Othor II. Many vacancies in Romistra to be filled.
« Reply #109 on: March 22, 2010, 01:45:13 pm »

Quote from: Othor II
- It's a mess of bricks, sticks and holes, without any rhythm or reason, - Nliru finished her report, having returned to her companions. She seemed just a bit irritated.
Vig nodded.
- No people?
Nliru shook her head.
- Alright, - Vig turned to Will. - What did you find?
While Nliru was scaling the walls of the town, the halfling went to the gates and assessed the situation from there.
- No guards, no citizens. The way is clear, - he said cheerfully.
- Guardhouse? - asked Vig.
- Dark,  - Will shrugged, - and empty, I presume.
- No destruction?
- As far as I could tell, - said Nliru, and Will nodded.
Vig scratched his forehead.
- Maybe there wasn't anyone in the first place? - proposed Amlemth. - I mean, it's been two thousand years since Kefka Godsfate came here, and we don't know...
- Well, I'm not Kefka, - interrupted Will, - and last I've seen, Romistra was bursting with activity.
- Oh, - said Amlemth.
Vig smacked his hand on his shield and began getting up.
- Bjorn never hatched chicken, as my people say.
- What? Another colourful metaphor? - Will shivered.
- Let's go, - said Vig and put on his helmet.
The adventurers gathered their belongings and started briskly down the slope. The sun had already set when they reached a wide stone arch of the gates. They stopped in it, peering into the street ahead. The two dark lines of houses, interspersed with strange trees distorting the shadows on the ground, led to the stone circle in the centre of the town.
Vig walked towards the door of the guardhouse by the side of the street, and entered. A couple of moments later he reappeared and beckoned his companions.
Moonlight was oozing through a dirty window onto a table, the air smelt of dust. When their eyes got used to the darkness, the adventurers saw a lantern on the corner of the table, and a soup bowl. Vig looked into the bowl, then touched its contents.
- Some days old, - he commented.
- Careful, - said Nliru. - Don't sumble - there is a stool or a chair on the floor.
Vig bent down, feeling his way with his hands.
- Am, why don't you use your fancy lighter? - Will said.
- Really, - Amlemth rummaged in his bag, then walked to the table, - I hope there is something left, - he opened the top of the lantern, then clicked several times with a small object he brought out, and the lantern lit up with a feeble flame. He picked it up and held above the floor. Near the table a chair lay overturned. As Vig avoided its danger, Amlemth lifted the lantern higher.
The room contained little more: a water barrel, hooks on the walls with warm cloaks, and another table, which the guards apparently used to store essential stuff. There were cans of oil for the lantern, a stack of leather buckets tumbled to a side, and a knife. In the wall, opposite from the entrance, there was a door to other rooms.
- They hurried, - Vig spoke thoughtfully. He touched the buckets. - They could go put out fire.
- Lady Nliru didn't notice anything burnt, - said Amlemth.
- I didn't, - Nliru confirmed.
- Hm, - Will mused, - you say there were dwarven tunnels... I've seen some dwarven fortresses burnt to a crisp by a fire with but a streak of smoke to note above the ground...
- So, there could be demons deep, and get out, - Vig proposed. - They got everyone quickly. We must be careful, - he looked around the room, then turned towards the entrance.
- I wonder if there is anything left to salvage? - Nliru muttered, studying the other door. She noticed Will's scornful look. - What? Our food supplies are almost out, and chances are they won't need theirs anymore!
Will shrugged.
- I just don't think we should start dividing the loot, before we know what got the previous owner.
- Young man! - boomed Amlemth.
- That's another reason I went into scout missions alone! - Nliru glared at Will, and burst out of the room.
- What? - said Will, baffled.
Amlemth eyed him disapprovingly, then followed the kobold.
- Ah, whichever race, girls are the same, - Will clenched his fist in vexation. Then he turned out the knob on the lantern, putting out the light, and prepared to leave. Suddenly, at the edge of his attention, he caught a creaking of floorboards in the distance, or in the other room. He held his breath, but there was nothing, but the beating of his heart. He walked out into the night, with an uncomfortable feeling on his back.
This is kind of ridiculous. I mean, my output. I've got problems, but the more I look up on the internet what people have to say, the more stumped I become. What I mean is I think that I need to officially put this project on pause until I figure it out. I know it's barely moved lately, but maybe I should say that there probably won't be an update neither on this week, or the next, or for a month, even. I have to figure it out. Maybe a sudden inspiration will come...
About criticism. I don't care anymore! Not because I've suddenly decided I've become flawless, but because I've found out I'm putting on the internet for all to see a first draft! And it's supposed to have flaws. So, I'll write it all out, then we'll have a good laugh fixing it. Meanwhile, I won't be spoiling for you what issues I have with my writing.
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Armok

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Re: Othor II. Many vacancies in Romistra to be filled.
« Reply #110 on: March 22, 2010, 02:42:47 pm »

D:
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Dwarf

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Re: Othor II. Many vacancies in Romistra to be filled.
« Reply #111 on: March 22, 2010, 04:50:34 pm »

Hmm... Well, your decision, really.
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Quote from: Akura
Now, if we could only mod Giant War Eagles to carry crossbows, we could do strafing runs on the elves who sold the eagles to us in the first place.

Supermikhail

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Re: Othor II. Many vacancies in Romistra to be filled.
« Reply #112 on: March 26, 2010, 06:50:49 am »

A somewhat relevant song... Hm, a kind of bump on my part. Not an update yet.
And an even more relevant video of the song. Is he playing a mandola there?
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Dwarf

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Re: Othor II. Many vacancies in Romistra to be filled.
« Reply #113 on: March 26, 2010, 07:06:37 am »

Heh, I'll stick to my Black Metal.
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Quote from: Akura
Now, if we could only mod Giant War Eagles to carry crossbows, we could do strafing runs on the elves who sold the eagles to us in the first place.

Supermikhail

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Re: Othor II. Many vacancies in Romistra to be filled.
« Reply #114 on: March 26, 2010, 08:04:16 am »

Although it's not my kind of music, I think... it's the kind of music I would listen to, while writing Othor II. Well, I started it with Nirvana, and intermittently used Mark A. Pullen's soundtrack to a game "Sauerbraten". Which goes into an extremely heavy category on my list... It's like, I need more energy in music, to have it in writing.
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Dwarf

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Re: Othor II. Many vacancies in Romistra to be filled.
« Reply #115 on: March 26, 2010, 08:31:59 am »

Oh, Sauerbraten. Will play that now.
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Quote from: Akura
Now, if we could only mod Giant War Eagles to carry crossbows, we could do strafing runs on the elves who sold the eagles to us in the first place.

Supermikhail

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Re: Othor II. Many vacancies in Romistra to be filled.
« Reply #116 on: April 05, 2010, 09:13:59 am »

 :-[
Me again, without a real update. My subconscious is nagging viciously at me to speak up here. Today I had a dream, that I'd posted an update, and Armok (not the god - I hope at least, otherwise I'd feel quite uncomfortable) replied to it in such a manner: "I'm sorry to say that, but your writing has deteriorated drastically". I woke up in cold sweat, of course (what have I written!? What has happened to me >:( :'()... Well, not really in cold sweat, but the feeling wasn't very nice.
So, here I am, to announce, that I'm working quite steadily, by my standards, although the work is retroactive. I'd like to leave details out as a surprise.
One thing has occurred to me: from whatever sources, my kobolds are supposed to be 2 feet tall. That makes them about knee-tall to a human. Now, as you remember, at one point in the story, Nliru was supposed to slap Vig on a cheek... And it doesn't really work. Maybe I'll edit it later... or leave as it is, as neither I, nor you noticed the inconsistency. :)
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Dwarf

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Re: Othor II. Many vacancies in Romistra to be filled.
« Reply #117 on: April 05, 2010, 09:27:01 am »

She can jump and has got arms :)
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Quote from: Akura
Now, if we could only mod Giant War Eagles to carry crossbows, we could do strafing runs on the elves who sold the eagles to us in the first place.

Supermikhail

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Re: Othor II. Many vacancies in Romistra to be filled.
« Reply #118 on: April 05, 2010, 09:52:38 am »

Jump her own height? :) Well, maybe, but I feel the process needs to be clarified in the text... Are kobolds notorious for their jumping skills? If she could jump her two heights, it would be awesome!
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Dwarf

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Re: Othor II. Many vacancies in Romistra to be filled.
« Reply #119 on: April 05, 2010, 10:03:31 am »

I suspect she's a highly physically trained assassin-special agent-esque 'bold, so that's fine, I guess.
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Quote from: Akura
Now, if we could only mod Giant War Eagles to carry crossbows, we could do strafing runs on the elves who sold the eagles to us in the first place.
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