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[Serrational]

Did you watch any cursed videotapes?

[Punished]

Did you watch any cursed videotapes?

Come to think of it, it was a quest from a Clown Lord... that bastard.

[Doro]

I started a new adventurer, axedwarf demigod and went on to my first quest which was a annoying Cougar (luckily) who had done... something bad, other than kill any1. propably looked wrong way at the humans.
well anyways, i found it's lair and aimed an attack at it's upper body and was wondering: "why is there STAB instead of SLASH on top of my attack list" checked my inventory and i had copper spear and clothes on me and dagger in my backpack. So i asked my self that where the dwarf is my steel axe and shield.
i thought that ill buy one from human town once i get there but i got ambushed on my way there by bandits... i think there were 3 of them, one started chasing turkeys and 2 killed me... kk cool.

i checked my skills and i had no points in spear and i was talented in axe. odd

EDIT:

oh wait! a new story. today seems to be a bad day for adventuring.
So, i started an female archer elf (dont ask me why) i decided to take my dagger and went into wilderness and train my dagger skill on group of warthogs. I killed 3 of the 5 warthogs and one of them was retching and waiting to be finished. as i was fighting my 4th warthog, it charged at me and we stumbled into a brook. yes, a brook. 1z level below so i couldnt get up. I remembered that there were a river not far away that was connected to brooke i was walking on. at the same time i could train my ambush and swimming skills and perhaps kill few carps on my way to find a place where i could get on dry land ( river was also 1z level below ) swam quite a trip and when sun set, river froze and there my elf lies, in the middle of river.

and as i was writing that story, i realized that i could have just fast travel when i was standing on a brook... but i dropped my bow on dry land and i had to find a way to get it back or earn enough money to buy a new one.

[strongrudder]

I started a new adventurer, axedwarf demigod and went on to my first quest which was a annoying Cougar (luckily) who had done... something bad, other than kill any1. propably looked wrong way at the humans.
well anyways, i found it's lair and aimed an attack at it's upper body and was wondering: "why is there STAB instead of SLASH on top of my attack list" checked my inventory and i had copper spear and clothes on me and dagger in my backpack. So i asked my self that where the dwarf is my steel axe and shield.
i thought that ill buy one from human town once i get there but i got ambushed on my way there by bandits... i think there were 3 of them, one started chasing turkeys and 2 killed me... kk cool.

i checked my skills and i had no points in spear and i was talented in axe. odd

Did you put a lot of points in one of the unarmed skills, like wrestling, kicking, or biting?

(from the DF wiki)

The weapon you start out with will be based on which of these, plus the unarmed combat skills, is the highest. In other words, even if Swordsman is your highest weapon skill, you won't start with a sword if your Wrestler or Striker skills are better. Usually the best choice anyway is to specialize in just one melee weapon skill.

If you had an unarmed skill greater than or equal to axe, it probably just defaulted to the "unarmed" equipment set, which these days (for some reason) lets you start with a copper spear. I've done that once or twice by mistake, too.

[jaxy15]

Wolves ambushed me.
It was all going good, I was killing them.
A turn later, they end up making me bleed to death.
What the fuck?!

[NotAQuisling]

One of my swordmen was killed by a horse.
They are cold efficient killing machines.

[Syreal]

One of my swordmen was killed by a horse.
They are cold efficient killing machines.

Ditto. Shall I fight a roc or a horse ... I'm thinking a roc.

[Ig88]

*Walking along a river* "Oh hai pike!" *pike attacks me, I dodge and fall into the river* "Its not true I never hit you, you're lying! I DID NAWT!" *biting ensues* "Anyway, how is your sex life?" *gets brained by pike tail slapping my skull*

[TheMasterTurtle]

This was a long time ago (40d) but is the most BS death I can recall.

Was fighting a Bronze C. and I naturally expected to die immediatly. But, wait! I was winning for some reason the beast could not kill me! After a while of fighting it and cutting off a few of his limbs I checked his wounds. And off to the side it said he was weilding a LEATHER GLOVE!. I don't know how this happened but apparently the whole time he was just slapping me with a glove. This was before aiming was introduced so my next attack accidently sliced off his hand. He promplty beat me to bloody pulp.

[Syreal]

Was fighting a Bronze C. and I naturally expected to die immediatly. But, wait! I was winning for some reason the beast could not kill me! After a while of fighting it and cutting off a few of his limbs I checked his wounds. And off to the side it said he was weilding a LEATHER GLOVE!. I don't know how this happened but apparently the whole time he was just slapping me with a glove. This was before aiming was introduced so my next attack accidently sliced off his hand. He promplty beat me to bloody pulp.

That is absolutely hilarious!! Only in DF. I feel like you should post this in the "Draw your adventure" thread.

Ok, so most BS self-inflicted death: Thinking, "Hey! I am pretty much invincible [minus the random headshot from an archer], so why not fight nature now?" Well, the magma won.

Most BS non-self-inflicted death: fighting and killing first dragon in latest version. Kicking its butt + some cool dragonfire blocking. Looting it's cave a little bit. I start ... "melting" ..., so I think the loot is cursed so I drop it. Still melting, so I run out of the cave and fast travel to a stronghold. Whew! No longer melting. Go into the stronghold and regale the lady with stories of how I killed the dragon. Now I'm melting again; three of my toes melted -- only the overall bleeding is like quadruple the speed. I try to fast travel -- I can't I'm in the stronghold, I try and get out, but bleed to death two steps from the door. So: bleeding to death through three toes which melted.

[ivze]

That was a starting adventurer, not many quests done and skills high, but something...

Fast travel, when suddenly bandits attack, outnumbering us. The fight begins, and, in the middle of it, after the balance of forces moves to our side, a curious grizzly bear from the wilds comes.

The creature attacks some injured enemies, killing them. Cool, I think: less enemies, thank you, bear. But then it choses me as a target and luckily latches on a leg. OH SHI..

The adventurer can do nothing, some remaining companions are injured and quite far, attacking the bear doesn't help much... Bleeding to death is a result of some shakings.

[tHe_silent_H]

Full set of armour, legenday swordfighter/dodger/sheilduser/fighter etc. from peasntry to demigod after 3 RL days of training. so i started killing megabeasts. alone. i'd killed at least 100 bogeymen by then. then one night after slaying another hydra one of those lucky bastards punches me in the head through a steel helm and 3 iron caps. killing me instantly.

that lucky bastard....

[Gamerlord]

Creating 3 adventurers to kill one minotaur and having all of them die from being gored in the face. My fourth one, the lasher was the only one who survived and then a goblin wrestler killed him.

[GreatWyrmGold]

I tried to swim past a hippo so that I could find a bank so that I could fast-travel to a non-river area, ideally a fort, and the hippo kicked my head in.

[NotAQuisling]

Goblin Cheiftess. I had my hammer arm injured so I dropped my shield and used that arm. Then that arm was injured. So I kicked for my life. Then my legs were injured. In the end I either had no chance to attack or my attacks were dodged. Not one scratch on her.