Bay 12 Games Forum

Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
Advanced search  
Pages: [1] 2 3

Author Topic: Quick and Easy Deathtraps - Assassination On The Go!  (Read 3318 times)

OddProphet

  • Bay Watcher
    • View Profile
Quick and Easy Deathtraps - Assassination On The Go!
« on: February 10, 2010, 05:12:37 pm »

Nobles.  Cheesemakers.  Ashery monkeys.  All they do is scurry about your fort and take up resources, and I HATE THEM.  I hate them so much.  All new players are quickly overwhelmed with the idea that they must be fed, trained, and cared for, and all are high-risk for tantrums.  What I intend is a recipe book of slaughter, categorized by:

The time it takes to build,
The entertainment value of the death,
The cost-effectiveness of the trap.

For example, I, as a new player, have only two methods of mass execution:
1.  Lock the little bastards in a room with two battle axes.
2.  Channel out the room so it hangs suspended over a pool of magma, snapping the ledge when the sods lay down to sleep.

Feel free to get creative.
Logged
They aren't coffins: They're lunchboxes 

clc02

  • Bay Watcher
    • View Profile
Re: Quick and Easy Deathtraps - Assassination On The Go!
« Reply #1 on: February 10, 2010, 05:28:48 pm »

Recruit, place barracks on top of really high tower.  Equip all of them with masterwork steel hammers.  Enjoy :P
If any of them happen to survive (Without broken spines and/or brains) then you have yourself some soldiers, if some survive with broken spines and/or brains then you have yourself some fortress guards :P
Logged
Only in dwarven culture is alcohol poisoning a death worthed investigating, while being impaled through several toes, a eye, and a thumb from a spiraling water[3] is not.  Because everyone knows, the only way a dwarf could get alcohol poisoning is if someone put poison into the alcohol.

Lemunde

  • Bay Watcher
    • View Profile
Re: Quick and Easy Deathtraps - Assassination On The Go!
« Reply #2 on: February 10, 2010, 06:50:03 pm »

Might as well put those carp to use.  Pick an industry that you don't use (fish cleaning, dying...)and build a workshop based on it near the carp.  Give the unworthy dwarf the appropriate labor.  I never actually tried this myself but the theory is sound.

Logged

Rat Of Wisdom

  • Bay Watcher
    • View Profile
Re: Quick and Easy Deathtraps - Assassination On The Go!
« Reply #3 on: February 10, 2010, 07:02:28 pm »

Lock the little bastards in a room with two battle axes.

[ERROR IN QUIP.RESPOND:EQUAL_PREFERENCE]
  • This is genius.
  • That sounds a lot like the way they decide company policy.
  • "Armok is with the righteous! Justice favors the dwarf that wins."
[ABORT/RETRY/FAIL?]
Logged
Evidently, Dorf Philosopher Uristmedes only figured out the Uristmedes screw. And he ran around naked and covered in water, blood, and vomit all the time, so any discoveries made in his 4/7 bathtub went unnoticed by dorf science.

stormyseasons

  • Bay Watcher
    • View Profile
Re: Quick and Easy Deathtraps - Assassination On The Go!
« Reply #4 on: February 10, 2010, 07:45:30 pm »

make them wrestlers, strip them of all armour/clothing, and lock them outside the fort when a siege comes to call. Lock any survivors into a room and drown/starve/cause to die of thirst/release wild animal/release captured enemy. If you have clowns, assign them to open the clown house and have someone else seal the corridor behind them.
Logged
I'm Digging Deeper... AGAIN... You Should Too!

Dig Deeper GOLD - 475+ items of new content including; new plants, new creatures, new metals, new woods, new gems, new stones, new crafts and much, much more.

namragog

  • Bay Watcher
  • How many woods can a wood wood chu- Wait, no...
    • View Profile
Re: Quick and Easy Deathtraps - Assassination On The Go!
« Reply #5 on: February 10, 2010, 08:44:51 pm »

Capture a dragon. Let it loose. Havoc.

WAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaa........... SPLAT!
Logged
Erarngumrash!

Luna

  • Bay Watcher
  • [AMPHIBIOUS]
    • View Profile
Re: Quick and Easy Deathtraps - Assassination On The Go!
« Reply #6 on: February 10, 2010, 09:25:27 pm »

In my current fort I built a room above an underground pool. If I get too irritated with a dwarf I'm gonna station them in there and drop them in. I haven't tried it yet, and unfortunately I've heard if you drop a dwarf in water they just fall straight to the bottom... Should still stain the water a pretty color though.
Logged

rophl

  • Escaped Lunatic
    • View Profile
Re: Quick and Easy Deathtraps - Assassination On The Go!
« Reply #7 on: February 10, 2010, 09:33:49 pm »

Quickest and easiest method of mass culling:
a large room with a drawbridge that covers the room.
Raise the drawbridge, draft all the immigrants, station them in the room and lock the door, drop the drawbridge on them, mashing them into oblivion.

Most entertaining:
tame dragon / magmafall / cave-ins
Logged

MC Dirty

  • Bay Watcher
    • View Profile
Re: Quick and Easy Deathtraps - Assassination On The Go!
« Reply #8 on: February 10, 2010, 09:36:56 pm »

Have a room with a few cats and many pressure plates connected to retracting spikes (wooden ones are the best) all over another room.
Station the offending dwarves in that room.
Lock the door.
Undraft them.
Enjoy the slow and painful death. ;D
Logged

Akigagak

  • Bay Watcher
  • Omnipimping
    • View Profile
Re: Quick and Easy Deathtraps - Assassination On The Go!
« Reply #9 on: February 10, 2010, 09:45:05 pm »

Really quick, simple, and easy: Two doors, with a one tile gap between them. Job done.
Logged
But then, life was also easier when I was running around here pretending to be a man, so I guess I should just "man up" and get back to work.
This is mz poetrz, it is mz puyyle.

Desiderium

  • Bay Watcher
  • [SELECT_SYMBOL:UNTOWARD]
    • View Profile
Re: Quick and Easy Deathtraps - Assassination On The Go!
« Reply #10 on: February 10, 2010, 09:48:33 pm »

So, you want to give your dwarf a deathwish while still being cost effective, do ya? And amusing as well? That's simple to answer. Make them a fisherdwarf.

a) FOODZ
b) Dwarf-slaughtering Carp of Death
c) it's funny to suddenly see the rivers run red with BLOOD OF THE INNOCENT. *Insert Maniacal Cackle Here*

Problem Solved.

Oh, it also takes no micromanaging. Unless you REALLY want them to die, then you can designate a spot in the river (if you have one) or the pools around the map (if you have those too) that's really really packed with Carp.

Pretty much an elaborated version of what Lemunde said.
Logged

Urist McWounded has created a microcline bucket, on the bucket is an image of Urist, Urist is surrounded by the dwarves, Urist is wasting away, The dwarves are working, The bucket is empty.  On the bucket is an image of Urists third finger in dwarf bone.

Urist McOverlord

  • Bay Watcher
  • [Evil_Genius]
    • View Profile
Re: Quick and Easy Deathtraps - Assassination On The Go!
« Reply #11 on: February 10, 2010, 10:19:09 pm »

My personal favorite:

Drawbridge over a channeled-out brook.
I love this map I just found...
Logged
Magma: The cause of, and solution to, all life's problems.

If it moves, it wants to kill you. It may not try to, but it wants to.

Cheddarius

  • Bay Watcher
  • Hrm.
    • View Profile
Re: Quick and Easy Deathtraps - Assassination On The Go!
« Reply #12 on: February 10, 2010, 10:30:49 pm »

For nobles that can't be drafted:
Put lever in room. q-P on lever, say that only this noble can pull it. Assign it to be pulled. Wait for noble, lock door.
For everyone else, there's MasterCard bridges with 10-z falls and phat lewt recovery tunnels at the bottom.
Logged

tastypaste

  • Bay Watcher
  • "It's delicious!"
    • View Profile
Re: Quick and Easy Deathtraps - Assassination On The Go!
« Reply #13 on: February 10, 2010, 10:38:52 pm »

For nobles that can't be drafted:
Put lever in room. q-P on lever, say that only this noble can pull it. Assign it to be pulled. Wait for noble, lock door.
For everyone else, there's MasterCard bridges with 10-z falls and phat lewt recovery tunnels at the bottom.

That's how I get rid of Hammerers. My basement has many small rooms and each room has a lever waiting for a new hammerer. My plan is to have a basement full of dead Hammerers as a warning to future immigrants. I'm not even going to waste a perfectly good burial receptacle on those bastards.
Logged
Denethor cancels stewardship:  Went Insane.
Denethor went berserk!

Cheddarius

  • Bay Watcher
  • Hrm.
    • View Profile
Re: Quick and Easy Deathtraps - Assassination On The Go!
« Reply #14 on: February 10, 2010, 10:42:45 pm »

Even better, open them up and create a quantum stockpile of dozens of hammerer remains. Hammerers who enter your fortress will see a massive pile several feet tall composed entirely of every hammerer who dared enter.
Logged
Pages: [1] 2 3