I've got a whole load of stuff I wanna put here, as the Sig Harvester.
Most of these have been taken without permission. Ah well, I'm not making any money from this so they can't sue me for that reason at least.
THE LIST:Usually having an explosive detonate underneath you is deadly, regardless of the amount of dead cow you're wearing. 
Throw knives at the patrons?
Woah, an extroverted Bay12er. Congrats.
If there were any legitimate online Psychology tests, I would have merit in punching this statement.
Sigged.
Give me the cake or the butt meets the knife!
You gotta be willing to risk it all, if you're ever gonna... FALL TO YOUR DEATH?
Ok, I have one, very important question... do you got a smoke? *shrug* I got gum...
That is pretty much exactly how Verminus Thrax would react to this situation. With blind incoherent axe mania.
"Oh, some drunkard thinks I insulted his gramma's skill with darts so he threw a bottle at me but he missed and hit that armoured giant instead so now there's a bar fight going on. The usual."
Wow, that's a WTF and a half.
Stare too long into the abyss and the abyss stares back, then it gets awkward until one of you breaks eye contact.
It seems, dear fellow, that I looked into the abyss a tad too long.
Surprise, you're actually good!
Do not touch spiders. They are harmful.
CONDITION: ALL HOPE HAS BEEN LOST.
ALL OF MY YES
That was too close! You were almost a Jill sandwich!
No offense, but alternate realities can't be considered an original concept in any sense. No one's going to accuse you of ripping anyone off if you use them. Yes but there are also an infinite number of possible universes where doing just that is punishable by death, along with any such offenses against good taste.
and then and then STUFF HAPPENED
This forest is starting to get just a little too evil for my tastes.
Are you implying anime girls are undignified? I have a folder of screenshots of smug anime girls that implies otherwise.
Annoyed third parties can solve ANYTHING!
Aquatic Battle Shenanigans are GO!
Triggering phrases constitute Assault with a Deadly Phrase and result in jail time.
BAD TIMES INCOMING
the spinning giant rat corpse hits the batman in the head.
It is broken.
Fuck everything, kills him before he pulls some shit.
All right. Well, don't let the big bomb hit you in the ass on the way out.
Peck peck. Scratch. Peck.
Peck?
Scratch Peck?
Peck?
Peck + peck = squawk
Cluck?
The boring solution is cage traps.
Now if he said he was 10 times the man Chuck/Frank was (instead of twice) that would make more sense. Being 10 times a normal man means having 10 times as many shots.
The way I see it, it's not so much "here's some stuff so that you won't do your job," and more "have some free profits, just don't 'kill' me/us".
Hell, if nobody's suffocated because of it, it hardly counts as a bug!
"A plate full of a variety of cheeses," I respond. "I thought it would make a fine accompaniment to the massive amount of whine you're partaking in."
Remember-children are our most precious resource!
More precious than coal?
Um, well. . . .
God damn chimps and their chimpernet, stealing my bananawidth
We're loving every minute of it. Seriously, how can you not love a city that sells cupcakes out of trailers?
Upon hearing he was part of the upcoming draft, one of the recruits wanted the codename Crazy Blades. The blades part is understandable, as he does have some basic knowledge of swordsmanship. Crazy is a less desirable trait and he will be monitored closely.
I killed him with a computer case. A revolver with 60 rounds? HAAAAAAAAAAAAAXXXXX!!!!!!
"And would your grandfather have charged a pack of monsters screaming bloody murder?"
"I wouldn't have put it past the old man."
"Customer service. 'Cause you gotta service customers. Unless they make that stupid joke 'bout bein' serviced by you. Then they can go fuck themselves.
Touch the daughter, you get slaughtered.
"No, you're a guest, I can't have you do dishes!"
"No, seriously, I'm dead. What else am I going to do other than sit around and be dead?"
We've got a problem, and the only cure is more deadpan.
If you die, we're going to dump you on the side of the road and throw some dirt on you.
"Good times, at least till we ended up in a Neo-Spartan prison camp."
... Who ever said you have to fight a god fair and square?
Oh well, better to die by your own buddy's hands, right?
What is this, your sig-harvesting thread?
You're dying? Can I have your soul?
So I unretired a fledgling fort of mine, and the fortress has a bunch of hostile cave swallow people milling around in the fort. Meanwhile, someone spilled beer, and the dwarves are removing their clothing.
Sounds like a normal dorfy party to me.
Currently feverish in the army. Fun.
In Soviet Russia, werebeast is bitten by you? Normally it works the other way around.
Two siggables in one day? Glorious. <3
Now if only there was some sort of automated "kick in the face" machine to install at chokepoints as a security measure against a werebeast outbreak.
suffer not the troll, the shitposter, the sigtexter to live.
Are bar brawls typically lethal? 15 dead already.
Yeah, that one lonely sea lamprey looks so menacing.
What a wonderful day! The sun's shining, the grass is green, and nothing insane has happened yet. What could possibly go wrong?
The interdimensional theme of getting your shit wrecked.
One of my militia captains got caught outside, and got rushed by a couple of beak dogs. One of them pushed him over the edge of a 1 z-level cliff over an archery target. He has slammed into an obstacle about a hundred times (so far), but seems to be unable to actually land on the archery target. He also seems to be receiving no damage from the slamming (although it's hard to be sure, since he's falling and thus has no accessible wounds page), and nothing seems to be able to hit him. His combat logs has a few hundred missed by the beak dogs, plus the goblins who have now arrived. I've also seen countless bolts and arrows fly past him with not effect, not even mentions in the log. I think he's going to be there forever, slamming into the top of the target, like some ballistic Sisyphus, caught in his own private version of hell.
It also seems like the majority of this siege is also going to be stuck there, trying in vain to hit him until I send the rest of my military out to deal with them. Not sure I want to do that, since there are around 280 of them, and I only have 16 melee types (not counting the flying hammerdwarf) and 9 marksdwarves.
Dio then finds a nice, quiet corner free from watching eyes.
See if I can connect to some random spaceship in the docking bay. Then look for security vulnerabilities and try to get at the ship's records.
Oh god he's already breaking the law
Please don't do it from our ship, so when you get arrested we aren't blamed
A few goblins on beak dogs have also started to show up, but most of the beak dogs are also flashing the blue ! of terror and are heading away from the fray. And well they should, for things are about to get far worse, because this just showed up in the combat log:
Fikod Nishkalan, Swordsdwarf: Death... I am not upset by this.
Fikod Nishkalan, Swordsdwarf: It was raining on me. It makes me very grouchy.
Now the goblins are facing a grouchy wood-chipper.
What I really need is a broom, an axe, and Mickey Mouse.
> FUCKING FAIRIES
>You can't believe you used to think they were adorable!
>...Okay, they're still kind of adorable, but not enough that you wouldn't consider punching a few of them.
The theory that renders the Sun a gas sphere with a nuclear fusion furnace inside is a dead horse. While efforts have been made to douse the dead horse with fresh theories to make the obsolete seem plausible again, the physical evidence is too far advanced so that the dead horse will not rise again.
Yeah, what a dead horse! That's a metaphor I understood! You know, like beating a dead horse. And now we're dousing it, because that's kind of like the whole "lead a horse to water" thing.
Finally, it seems this dead horse (still a metaphor) may rise again. People of Bay12, we may (or may not, who knows) be in a zombie horse scenario.
Jesus. And this is the first paragraph on the page. It's like Brass Eye.
Nah, don’t worry about and properly document this alarming lapse in memory. Don’t look for more notes in the journal, either. Just go ahead, put away your weapon, and have some more unprotected sex. It’s not like you’re trapped in a magical, time-altering, memory-impairing, impenetrable sphere-thing or whatever.
Hahaha, I think the CDC's trying to control an outbreak of FB disease!
You called for help and somebody threw band-aids and fried eggs at you.
You can see the forlornness in her eyes and hear it in her voice...You can feel your MOE AEGIS slowly crumbling under the intense d'awww she's emitting right now.
"Chocolate, you say? I'm not sure if I would enjoy a chocolate trap. Perhaps vanilla. Or butter. Or splinters."
[] Make it with love.
[] Make it with hate.
[] Make it fit for a railgun.
This is the Death Star of orchestras!
Technically, Dwarf Fortress is doomed. It won't survive the heat death of the Universe. But this isn't particularly relevant to performance issues.
Rrgh, I hate it when people notice the sigworthiness before I do.
For me, this was sigworthy.
[SIG CHAIN ENSUES]
this was just a joke
please do not try to carry this into the non-terrible jokes thread
No plan survives contact with the enemy. No civilian survives contact with friendlies.
BEAROCALYPSE SOON, MY FRIENDS
Man can't even break is ankle and get high on hydrocodone without people sending messages about how he's shirking his duty. Alright.
With every sig you take, my power grows.
Unless you cast it to the dark realm of sigtext, don't do that.
I find this robot strangely adorable for whatever reason.
This thing is a shotgun and a voice modulator short of being tasked to kill John Connor.
Humanity is gonna get weird.
Cool beans, let's get weird.
Good god I've created a transhuman fleshmonster and his political leanings are less distressing than those of actual politicians.
Trump could have +4 Aux and +4 Cha with those negatives.
Also, I'm a bit confused how Trump only has a -1 to science? Should be -2 by all accounts.
I know, I know, I was just wondering if you had dealt with any customers that managed to set themselves on fire.
I was a massive wall of "fuck you"
Who could not love the face of Marx? It practically screams "cuddle me."
the gravitational pull of Mahatma Stalin is too powerful to escape
Notable Quotes:
Most people who are shot die literally from giving up.
Another thought I just had:
Toady's job is to create the best fantasy world generator and simulator. Intel's job is to create a computer that can run it. Right now, despite having over 100,000 employees, assets over $100 billion, and revenue over $55 billion... Intel is the one falling behind on their end of the process 
You have earned my eternal hate and spite.
You fool! That phrase was specifically constructed in order to draw small amounts of power even from the barren wastes of sigtext! As
the realm of sigtext is timeless and unchanging, this gives me infinite power!
Hahahahahaha!
Be careful what you read on the internet, or you may become like this unfortunate guy:
Author
Topic: Sigtext (Read 1086305 times)