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[Lagslayer]

WHAT. SYRUPSPRINKLE? CARNAL QUAKES? Not only is he going around bitchslapping forgotten beasts with his massive platinum compensator, he's named like a fucking pornstar as well. Probably he's killing a dragon right now , while munching on a dwarven syrup roast, drinking some sunshine from his glass vial and boning a dwarfette. While standing around 20 inches away from her.

Dear lord, he's like the Dwarven equivalent of Duke Nukem.

hello everyone, im posting here not because i have something sad to tell, but because i find it strange that despite there being a sad thread with 4.6k replies on the first page of this section. There is no such thread for happy things that happened? Why isnt there a thread called "Things that made you smile today?". I think this is sad...    oh wait lol hahaha

The happy thread is the thread with burritos in the title.

oh geez how could i have missed that? i thought it was some random touhou thread, hah

Regardless of what other people are saying about it being mere coincidence, I'm 100% certain that Angler Fishes used to be land dwelling creatures, a hideous race of fish people that used their bioluminescence to bring humanity to it's knees. It was the Neanderthals that sacrificed themselves in the long forgotten Fish V Cave Man war that drove them down into the depths of the oceans.

When Jewish Meth Grannies Attack

[flame99]

Are you suggesting we carve the skin off the next random peasant we meet and wear their skin and face?

I have some tips if you need em.

So I did a thing.

I grant you the title Great Hero of Heroic Greatness
(apparently that's something I can do)

Er...  Sorry, but there's nothing here, this was an accidental misposted-

Ah, screw it.

We should domesticate mankind. ((Or maybe i'm too ambitious, just popped op in my head))

We should marry mankind! Let's get married married married~

The story of Kolkeskal, the FB-slaying turkey.

Either something is wrong, or I may have suddenly discovered that the secret to fire magic is shea butter hand soap.

On the -fords from TWoOtA. See the wiki link in my post sig if you don't know what TWoOtA is.

Spoiler: I wonder if the angels have a pet bovine (click to show/hide)

Oxford

Spoiler: Or maybe one of them is an archaeologist or scoundrel (click to show/hide)

Harissonford

Spoiler: And I'm sure that at least one of them is swimming in dosh (click to show/hide)

Afford_{okay that one is terrible}

How come sometimes when I think about Luna everything smells like gold and I taste screaming fanaticism and statues?

And so it was told. The greedy dwarves of Bay12 would have to wait three days. Three days, they would have to survive without knowledge of the true world. Three days... without the glorious presence of Lune... But on that final day they would receive a rant. A rant to end all rants! Thirty-five paragraphs of pure epic! And so the dwarves agreed, their greed overcoming sense...

I say this is the most loving, accepting, positive way possible: FUUUUCK YOOOOOOOU AND YOUR DAMN LUCK.

Well, this is certainly going into my sig.

I'm currently running 1 forum game:
The War of the Elements, a semi-fantasy TSG that I really have no idea what I'm doing with. I'd like to add some more, but I'm not sure what I could add. Go ahead and read if for yourself; it isn't terribly long, or at least at the time of writing.

[Rolepgeek]

My rampant narcissism means I have to claim a spot here for my personal glory.

And also quotes I've stolen from other people.

Roleplgeek, you're the best.

TWEET TWEET TWEET, BITCH

Damn illegal aliens! They are stealing our souls!

[Playergamer]

Gotta say, I steal sigs all the time. Well, not all the time, but there's a couple in there I didn't find in the wild. Haters gonna hate.

Sigged 

[TalonisWolf]

Sobriety: A Dwarve's Tale of Misfortune

Crimsom Doom, during an debate within a thread on the Sufficient Velocity forums:
 ...this is the stupidest thing I've ever heard. You don't fight stupid misconceptions by spreading stupid misconceptions on the other side of the argument, you fight stupid misconceptions by using provable truth. If they won't listen to proof, they won't listen to anything.

Just to clarify its not one civ per player, rather everyone's working together.

It is not my fault if everyone else's suggestions are wrong.

10/10

I am Dunamisdeos of Llama. Your artifacts and liquor supplies will be added to our own. Resistance is futile.

I think blasting both hands off of somebody is firmly in the "less lethal" category, not "nonlethal".

Either way, it's a good way to disarm your opponent.

"Unhand me, knave!"

...so I'm Urist McUseless Craftsdwarf. Joy.

Elves:A Theory

Cast Time Reversal on GWG to pull him back to a point where he hasn't suffered any pain, 'healing' or wounds.

[5]

NO...NOOOOO...NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

I HATE YOU FOREVER.


TALONISWOLF RUINED EVERYTHING, STAB HIM IN THE PANCREAS

^...Opps.^
I didn't think it would work, I thought it would backfire spectacularly... but I'm not complaining.

((And thus began the great war of new zealand with sheep,cows,and shear ninjas with snow-making machines.))

Start threataning the sheep with the fact that they could be the next ingrediant for my world famous hamburgers.

SHEEP WILL CONSUME ALL OF THE HAMBURGERS

HAMBURGERS WILL CONSUME ALL OF THE SHEEP

BURN IN RIGHTEOUS FIRE, CRETIN! MY SHEEP SHALL REIGN SUPREME!!

YES,THEY SHALL REIGN SUPREME IN MY HAMBURGERS!!

YOUR HAMBURGURERS WILL BUUUUUUURRRRRNNNNN

I think we should stop now.

WITH YOUR SHEEP IN THEM!!!

Probably

*chugs beer and then slams it on the floor*

LET'S FUCKING DO IT!

And Captain Testosterone steps up to the plate. I'm sure his good friend Poor Judgement will be following soon after.

Joe attempts to synthesize health from testosterone.

WHICH GROWS ON SOIL, INBRED PEASANT!

THEN HOW COME WE DON'T SAY "GROW ON SOIL" FOR EVERYTHING, SINCE TREES ALSO GROW ON SOIL,  FECKLESS KNAVE?

BECAUSE THE ORIGINAL SAYING WAS A CONVENIENT IDIOM FOR THE RARITY OF AN OBJECT, SEEING AS THE TREES THAT PEOPLE WERE MOST FAMILIAR WITH GREW APPLES WHICH ARE QUITE COMMON, YOU UNEDUCATED SWINE!

ARE YOU INSINUATING THAT GRASS IS UNFAMILIER TO PEOPLE? I SHOULD NOT EVEN HAVE TO INSULT YOU IF YOU ARE INSINUATING THAT GRASS IS UNFAMILIER TO PEOPLE.

WHEN I WAS YOUR AGE, WE DIDN'T EVEN HAVE GRASS. WE HAD DIRT, AND THAT WAS IT. IT WAS OUR DINNER, OUR TOYBOX, OUR INTERNET, AND OUR ONLY FRIEND.

I'M NOT EVEN FAMILIER WITH THIS STUFF
I JUST WANTED TO SHOOT GWG IN THE FACE

Head: Deuterium Flouride Laser ("Head mounts reroll head location" haha no they don't)

I think it's meant to be "Main mounts reroll head location", because they're usually too big.

Screw the rules I have headcannon.

I'd like to file a complaint with our intel department.
Where would i find the proper forms?

The forms are probably inside a Howitzer. You'll have to climb in to get them, though.

...

If you can get salmon in animal traps, you should be able to eject them by putting those into minecarts, having the cart hit a wall, throwing the animal trap which hits another wall, which should throw the raw salmon.

Unfortunately, water doesn't slow down flying objects, so they'd probably hit the bottom of the catch pool and explode or something, but I'd still call that a success.

Sturgeon's law Lego, you forgot to factor in that.

Look it up, it's the idea that 90% of everything is crap, and the remaining 10% is any good.
[/quote]

Spoiler: After a piece I drew for Necrothreat (click to show/hide)

Here's something random I wrote.

Oh, Talonis the wolf-kin friend,
Who drew in arcs of gracefulness,
Took to mind to draw a sketch
Of purest dwarven ugliness.

He looked about his subjects three,
And saw their tattered clothes.
Their beards, bedraggled, hung so limp
And in their eyes hid many woes.

Oh, Talonis he also saw
Their shoes were scuffed, their hair a mess!
Their robes once fine were tattered rags;
And yet they stood there sorrowless.

He saw their eyes of deepest woe,
He saw their angry stance,
He saw their calloused working hands,
He saw their weapons, spear and lance.

Ah, Talonis the wolven kin!
Aloft he drew his fated pen.
He saw the truth behind their look;
And saw they were beyond his ken.

He smote the page and with his thought
He drew them kings of olden times!
Their hair he spun like gleaming gold
That hung in gleaming lines.

Their brows he gave a noble tilt,
Their shoulders dignity,
He gave them life that could not wilt;
Emblazoned them with heraldry.

They stood there yet, his subjects three
In badly woven clothes that stank,
And knew before his scrutiny
They held the highest Dwarven rank.

When down his sketching pen had gone,
He wiped his sweating head.
He looked about his subjects three
And saw the kings that he had made.

Spoiler: Einsteinian in a Nutshell (click to show/hide)

Hey, Steve, we recovered this piece of high tech equipment in our mission! What do you mean it's just a GPS? Well, how about this very dangerous tube of fire? What?! I don't believe it! So commandeering that alien spacecraft  you sent us investigate was all for nothing? No, I'm pretty sure that's the one you sent us investigate. Yes. Yes. Well, maybe it looks smaller when out of the ice. Well, you had no contact with us and our video logs were mysteriously deleted, so how can you tell?

[snip]

Unless steve decides to dock their pay for gross incompetance, infighting, creating uncontrolled psychokinetic fleshorrors and forcing the destruction of possible alien superweapons...

Well they did recover a shiny new vehicle full of guns and stuff, thats gotta net them something.

Unless steve decides to dock their pay for gross incompetance, infighting, creating uncontrolled psychokinetic fleshorrors and forcing the destruction of possible alien superweapons...

So it's fine?

Cats:Dwarf Fortress trying to show us something?

D1 through to D999 Dice Roller! (you type # in on bottom most die)

ASCII DRAW
http://amulware.net/advASCIIdraw/][URL]

[Remuthra]

...so I'm Urist McUseless Craftsdwarf. Joy.

More like Urist McSiegeEngineer.
Or Urist McLegendaryMetalWorker.

See "Useless Craftsdwarf Professions".

[Avis-Mergulus]

Oh, I guess I'll get one like the big boys.

GAMES:

Trailblazers in a World of Winter (hiatus)
Roll to destroy the GM
Into Empty Skies (It's dead, Jim.)

QUOTES:

Yo ass might wonder why I be so much mo' blingin than yo thugged-out ass. Of course I be mo' blingin ta me than yo ass is ta me; I don't give two shits bout yo thugged-out ass. That's tha ass of dis matter: tha issue here is what tha fuck you all do fo' me, not tha other way around. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka!

Spoiler: Yo, dawg, I herd u liek Gizoogle, so I gizoogled your siggy so u can laugh while u read yo' post (click to show/hide)

Orpheus strummed till his wild lil' fingers bled
Dude hit a G minor seven
Dude raised up Dogg from a thugged-out deep, deep chill
Dogg was a major playa up in Heaven

Yes, actually. Seriously, snorting bonecain is a major common sense violation.

Yes, you accidentally knocked over your shiv collection and will have to spend the day arranging it so somebody doesn't get shanked unintentionally *hint, hint*

On the other hand, if something is bad enough that you'll get your ass drilled into to cure, then I'd rather the ass-drill than for it to continue.

If someone is going to drill into my bones I want to be knocked out for the procedure and then so doped up with meds afterward that I don't remember my recovery period, and the doctor hands me a bill one day and says "Son, you don't even want to know." Gladly pay.

Making an all-purpose introduction thread for the forum is sort of like hanging a "WELCOME TO THE FORUM!" banner in one corner above a battered, fold-up plastic table with a few plates of stale cheese sandwiches and a bottle of flat soda, and then sitting nearby with a creepily welcoming grin, just waiting for someone to be lured in so we can greet them.

Anything can stop a moose in its tracks if you have enough of it traveling at a high enough velocity.

"Urist McRandomGuard has been happy lately. He admired a nice ass lately."

...Wait, what?

Plot twist: the wolves tested the ice axe on him.

In Soviet Russia, wolves ice axe you!

In Soviet Russia, ice wolves axe you!

In Soviet Russia, axe wolves ice you!

In Soviet Wolves, ice Russia you axe!

Axe Soviet in, ice you Russia wolves!

Wolves You Soviet, Ice Russia Axe In!

Ice wolves Russia, Soviet you in axe!


I call bacon nom sequitur, so my just as planned.

Well, I had a rather strange dream. It was that I was playing a game of D&D with friends, an oddity to begin with seeing as I have no fucking clue how the hell D&D works. Continuing on, for some reason, my character was named, of all things, "Jesus".

He was a grizzly bear.

Made out of solid beer.

He spent the whole of combat convincing enemies to walk into enclosed spaces.

Why? Because his sole ability was that, if someone enters an enclosed space, he could seal it perfectly and instantly perform a closed-room murder. In addition to that, when the clawed and mauled corpse is inevitably found, it would always, for some obscure reason, be naked and any autopsy or autopsy-equivalent performed upon it would indicate that the cause of death was AIDS. Throat clawed out? AIDS did it. Cleanly bisected? AIDS of course. Vivisected, gutted, mauled, perforated, torn to shreds and clawed for good measure? Without a doubt, the symptoms of AIDS.

Please tell me you'll be playing a talking anime fox~

<p>Created by Oatmeal</p>

This is why you don't have sexytimes with an iron golem.

Or magma Gollum. After his fall, of course.

Bemoan your fate through lungs stifled by the infecting Yeast! Bubble your last breath in foamy fountains of pain! Succumb to the Ghost Beer and be our sacrifice, lest it strikes again.

Spoiler: SIG-TERRITORIES CLAIMED BY THE GLORIOUS EMPIRE OF AUSTRIA-HUNGARY (click to show/hide)

I sigged that. I hope you don't mind, cause if you do, there ain't shit you can do about it.

I have now sigged this. Because irony.

And so, the Theme of Threads leaks from one to another.

I DECLARE A SIG WAR

Hi. I recently decided to try my hand at modding. So, as my first task I settled for something simple, just a simple edit of an already existing creature. This was going fine, I ended up modding ravens that shoot webs and are hostile towards dwarves. The main problem with this was that I wanted to breed said creature without the hassle of eggs. How would I get ravens to give birth? Also, the ravens are producing a load of webs, how would I make it so only a few webs are created? Any tips that can be given would be helpful as well, as I am completely new to this type of thing. Thanks!

*Ping*

"Toast is served!"

I guess you can call it Lemurilla's Thrilla Paper in Teaching How to Holla for a Dolla Dolla Bill, Y'all.

Spider crab, spider crab
Does whatever should never be done
What's it like?  We don't know
Cuz we're busy nuking from orbit

Heads up!
Here comes atomic purging!

[LeoLeonardoIII]

You pimped my screed!

[Avis-Mergulus]

You pimped my screed!

So I did. Here's the full version:

Spoiler: Pimpin' Chrizzle card yo (click to show/hide)

[xmas card]

This be a open letter ta mah playas up in Washington State.

I wanna ludd you, cuz a game full of ludd is mo' betta than a game full of hate. But, n' I cannot help dis cuz I be human, mah ludd yo' you wanes up in direct proportion ta how tha fuck much I need ta compete wit you fo' scarce resources.

If I be starvin n' huddled over a morsel, n' yo ass be also starvin n' eyein mah morsel, n' tha morsel will cause one of our asses ta live n' tha other ta die, I must chizzle mah game n' yo' dirtnap fo' realz. And so I must chizzle ta ludd mah dirty ass n' don't give a fuck bout you up in order ta make dat chizzle.

Scarce resources is not all morsels n' mates, though cause I gots dem finger-lickin' chickens wit tha siz-auce. Take space up in traffic fo' example. We both need ta git where we going, right, biatch? Therez only so much road n' a shitload of rides dat want a share of dat shit. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. So when I be surrounded by playas whoz ass desperately press tha fuck into tha segment of road dat mah hoopty is currently occupying, I begin ta view tha road as a scarce resource.

Of course dat section of road is nowhere near as dramatically blingin, as vital, as tha single morsel of chicken ta a starvin man. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Similarly, I would not fight ta tha dirtnap over a segment of road - dat would be ridiculous.

But I must say, competizzle wit you over a scarce resource make me ludd you less n' don't give a fuck bout you mo' n' mo' n' mo'. Well shiiiit, it be anthropological, biological. It aint nuthin but tha nick nack patty wack, I still gots tha bigger sack. Well shiiiit, it vibrates every last muthafuckin cell of me wit a cold lil' woo wop of conflict.

Surprisingly, n' unlike most similar thangs up in tha game, you have control over how tha fuck much I gots a straight-up boner fo' you n' aint a thugged-out damn thang dat yo' ass can do. Yo ass can stay tha fuck up in da crib n' stop cloggin tha stores wit yo' filthy grillbreathang corpus n' tribe of offspring. Yo crazy-ass petty errandz is unimportant. If you straight-up must seep forth from yo' dwelling-hole, you can at least drive right instead of like a thugged-out douchebag.

Yo ass might say I can be tha one ta chizzle ta stay home. I gots a straight-up boner fo' you hella less as soon as dat petulant lisp escapes yo' cracked lips. Me stayin home aint gonna make me don't give a fuck bout you less cuz it will magnify mah don't give a fuck bout by tha factor of mah resentment toward y'all. Yo crazy-ass impact on mah ludd fo' you is based on tha inconvenience I experience cuz of you; bein unable ta git shiznit done be a immense inconvenience ta mah dirty ass.

Yo ass might wonder why I be so much mo' blingin than yo thugged-out ass. Of course I be mo' blingin ta me than yo ass is ta me; I don't give two shits bout yo thugged-out ass. Thatz tha ass of dis matter: tha issue here is what tha fuck you all do fo' me, not tha other way around. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! If you wanna write a open letter ta all of Washington State, like afta brushin up on yo' Gangsta n' straight-up finishin high school, please do.  One of tha tenetz of Gangsta freedom is dat we all have tha right ta ridicule tha pitiful squeak n' burble you summon from yo' vapid, pointless imagination. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch.

So consider, please, dis straight-up dope holidizzle season, dat up in maximizin mah ludd fo' you, yo ass is contributin ta peace n' goodwill which be afta all what tha fuck Chrizzle be all about.

[/xmas card]

[Elephant Parade]

You pimped my screed!

So I did. Here's the full version:

Spoiler: Pimpin' Chrizzle card yo (click to show/hide)

[xmas card]

This be a open letter ta mah playas up in Washington State.

I wanna ludd you, cuz a game full of ludd is mo' betta than a game full of hate. But, n' I cannot help dis cuz I be human, mah ludd yo' you wanes up in direct proportion ta how tha fuck much I need ta compete wit you fo' scarce resources.

If I be starvin n' huddled over a morsel, n' yo ass be also starvin n' eyein mah morsel, n' tha morsel will cause one of our asses ta live n' tha other ta die, I must chizzle mah game n' yo' dirtnap fo' realz. And so I must chizzle ta ludd mah dirty ass n' don't give a fuck bout you up in order ta make dat chizzle.

Scarce resources is not all morsels n' mates, though cause I gots dem finger-lickin' chickens wit tha siz-auce. Take space up in traffic fo' example. We both need ta git where we going, right, biatch? Therez only so much road n' a shitload of rides dat want a share of dat shit. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. So when I be surrounded by playas whoz ass desperately press tha fuck into tha segment of road dat mah hoopty is currently occupying, I begin ta view tha road as a scarce resource.

Of course dat section of road is nowhere near as dramatically blingin, as vital, as tha single morsel of chicken ta a starvin man. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Similarly, I would not fight ta tha dirtnap over a segment of road - dat would be ridiculous.

But I must say, competizzle wit you over a scarce resource make me ludd you less n' don't give a fuck bout you mo' n' mo' n' mo'. Well shiiiit, it be anthropological, biological. It aint nuthin but tha nick nack patty wack, I still gots tha bigger sack. Well shiiiit, it vibrates every last muthafuckin cell of me wit a cold lil' woo wop of conflict.

Surprisingly, n' unlike most similar thangs up in tha game, you have control over how tha fuck much I gots a straight-up boner fo' you n' aint a thugged-out damn thang dat yo' ass can do. Yo ass can stay tha fuck up in da crib n' stop cloggin tha stores wit yo' filthy grillbreathang corpus n' tribe of offspring. Yo crazy-ass petty errandz is unimportant. If you straight-up must seep forth from yo' dwelling-hole, you can at least drive right instead of like a thugged-out douchebag.

Yo ass might say I can be tha one ta chizzle ta stay home. I gots a straight-up boner fo' you hella less as soon as dat petulant lisp escapes yo' cracked lips. Me stayin home aint gonna make me don't give a fuck bout you less cuz it will magnify mah don't give a fuck bout by tha factor of mah resentment toward y'all. Yo crazy-ass impact on mah ludd fo' you is based on tha inconvenience I experience cuz of you; bein unable ta git shiznit done be a immense inconvenience ta mah dirty ass.

Yo ass might wonder why I be so much mo' blingin than yo thugged-out ass. Of course I be mo' blingin ta me than yo ass is ta me; I don't give two shits bout yo thugged-out ass. Thatz tha ass of dis matter: tha issue here is what tha fuck you all do fo' me, not tha other way around. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! If you wanna write a open letter ta all of Washington State, like afta brushin up on yo' Gangsta n' straight-up finishin high school, please do.  One of tha tenetz of Gangsta freedom is dat we all have tha right ta ridicule tha pitiful squeak n' burble you summon from yo' vapid, pointless imagination. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch.

So consider, please, dis straight-up dope holidizzle season, dat up in maximizin mah ludd fo' you, yo ass is contributin ta peace n' goodwill which be afta all what tha fuck Chrizzle be all about.

[/xmas card]

Gizoogle never ceases to be entertaining.

[Steelmagic]

You pimped my screed!

So I did. Here's the full version:

Spoiler: Pimpin' Chrizzle card yo (click to show/hide)

[xmas card]

This be a open letter ta mah playas up in Washington State.

I wanna ludd you, cuz a game full of ludd is mo' betta than a game full of hate. But, n' I cannot help dis cuz I be human, mah ludd yo' you wanes up in direct proportion ta how tha fuck much I need ta compete wit you fo' scarce resources.

If I be starvin n' huddled over a morsel, n' yo ass be also starvin n' eyein mah morsel, n' tha morsel will cause one of our asses ta live n' tha other ta die, I must chizzle mah game n' yo' dirtnap fo' realz. And so I must chizzle ta ludd mah dirty ass n' don't give a fuck bout you up in order ta make dat chizzle.

Scarce resources is not all morsels n' mates, though cause I gots dem finger-lickin' chickens wit tha siz-auce. Take space up in traffic fo' example. We both need ta git where we going, right, biatch? Therez only so much road n' a shitload of rides dat want a share of dat shit. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. So when I be surrounded by playas whoz ass desperately press tha fuck into tha segment of road dat mah hoopty is currently occupying, I begin ta view tha road as a scarce resource.

Of course dat section of road is nowhere near as dramatically blingin, as vital, as tha single morsel of chicken ta a starvin man. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Similarly, I would not fight ta tha dirtnap over a segment of road - dat would be ridiculous.

But I must say, competizzle wit you over a scarce resource make me ludd you less n' don't give a fuck bout you mo' n' mo' n' mo'. Well shiiiit, it be anthropological, biological. It aint nuthin but tha nick nack patty wack, I still gots tha bigger sack. Well shiiiit, it vibrates every last muthafuckin cell of me wit a cold lil' woo wop of conflict.

Surprisingly, n' unlike most similar thangs up in tha game, you have control over how tha fuck much I gots a straight-up boner fo' you n' aint a thugged-out damn thang dat yo' ass can do. Yo ass can stay tha fuck up in da crib n' stop cloggin tha stores wit yo' filthy grillbreathang corpus n' tribe of offspring. Yo crazy-ass petty errandz is unimportant. If you straight-up must seep forth from yo' dwelling-hole, you can at least drive right instead of like a thugged-out douchebag.

Yo ass might say I can be tha one ta chizzle ta stay home. I gots a straight-up boner fo' you hella less as soon as dat petulant lisp escapes yo' cracked lips. Me stayin home aint gonna make me don't give a fuck bout you less cuz it will magnify mah don't give a fuck bout by tha factor of mah resentment toward y'all. Yo crazy-ass impact on mah ludd fo' you is based on tha inconvenience I experience cuz of you; bein unable ta git shiznit done be a immense inconvenience ta mah dirty ass.

Yo ass might wonder why I be so much mo' blingin than yo thugged-out ass. Of course I be mo' blingin ta me than yo ass is ta me; I don't give two shits bout yo thugged-out ass. Thatz tha ass of dis matter: tha issue here is what tha fuck you all do fo' me, not tha other way around. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! If you wanna write a open letter ta all of Washington State, like afta brushin up on yo' Gangsta n' straight-up finishin high school, please do.  One of tha tenetz of Gangsta freedom is dat we all have tha right ta ridicule tha pitiful squeak n' burble you summon from yo' vapid, pointless imagination. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch.

So consider, please, dis straight-up dope holidizzle season, dat up in maximizin mah ludd fo' you, yo ass is contributin ta peace n' goodwill which be afta all what tha fuck Chrizzle be all about.

[/xmas card]

Gizoogle never ceases to be entertaining.

I've run Bay12 through gizoogle a few times, and it's just so funny to see everybody talking gangsta. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch.

[Avis-Mergulus]

Derm's sig cracked me up especially hard.

I be a monument ta all of yo' sins.
If you peep me, it is too late.
Behold hommie! Da magnificent juice of tha grand sorceror!
Da manifest fear of ten thousand godz n' demons shall end yo' game.
Run.

[Remuthra]

Derm's sig cracked me up especially hard.

I be a monument ta all of yo' sins.
If you peep me, it is too late.
Behold hommie! Da magnificent juice of tha grand sorceror!
Da manifest fear of ten thousand godz n' demons shall end yo' game.
Run.

Gravemind?

[kisame12794]

Nah. It's just the stuff in Derms sig.

[Octobomb]

Nah. It's just the stuff in Derms sig.

No, it is the gravemind. Also Cortana.
This is UNSC A.I. Serial Number CTN0452-9. I am a monument to all your sins.
Awesome.