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[Crazy Cow]

Wow, very handy. Thank you very much!

[Lielac]

Hahahahahahaa oh yes I need this thread now.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm off to deceive Grammar Neville Chamberlain and invade Grammar Poland.

Grammatik, Grammatik όber alles,
άber alles in der Welt,
Wenn es stets zu Schutz und Trutze
Brόderlich zusammenhδlt.
Von der Maas bis an die Memel,
Von der Etsch bis an den Belt,
Grammatik, Grammatik όber alles,
άber alles in der Welt!
Die Fahne hoch! Die Reihen fest geschlossen!
GN marschiert mit ruhig, festem Schritt.
Kam'raden, die Analphabeten und Dummkopf erschossen,
Marschier'n im Geist in unser'n Reihen mit!

*goose-steps his way out of the thread*

Well, it's more like most of the dwarven mind and soul is a placeholder

Lost 7 of my 8 metalworkers to a single crab once. It sat happily under the magma smelter and took potshots at my metalworkers. Damn camper.

People on these forums go from zero to murder at lightspeed.

[Zrk2]

Who was it that had that link to the tree puns? We need to preserve that one.

Also, SIG COUNT (For purely compensatory reasons): 2 

[Flying Dice]

Saving this here.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

No. Because people are assholes and love making generalization.

Just because of this, I will create a smog-filled dystopian metropolis with every green spot of land replaced by asphalt and factories in Simcity Societies.

Then you're letting Fox News win.  Let that sink in.

"Bubble Breast Power, ACTIVATE!"

                                 Jesus, "Jesus"

Jesus was a deity that occurs in the myths of The Catholic Church. Jesus was
most often depicted as a male hippy and was associated with ressurection and
salvation.

"NASA: Vaporizing Mars, one nanogram at a time."

You guys are all deranged psychopaths, but you're the kind of deranged psychopaths that I would love to have tea with.

[ragnarok97071]

Spoiler: I blow up EVERYTHING. (click to show/hide)

Ragnarok: 6
You FREEZE EVERYTHING.
The Nether suddenly becomes REALLY FUCKING COLD. All the lava turns to obsidian. The Ghasts are probably going to go extinct, at least in this reigon of the Nether. It's probably a permanent spell too.
Conglaturation, you're ecological nightmare.

Ragnarok: 6
Ragnarok yells something, and there is silence for a second as everyone feels a strange tingle, and suddenly taste a strong taste of tin.

Then, an enormous fireball appears in the center of the battlefield, consuming everything within a two-mile radius. Then, the ground begins to rumble and crack, and the air suddenly gets very cold. A massive updraft comes up, and bits of rock begin flying around wildly. The ground completely disintegrates and flies into the air.

Ragnarok: 6 (Helios damnnit rag)

You CAST MOTHERFSCKIN MAJIK.

You FREEZE EVERYTHING AGAIN. Lake Rumaire is completely frozen over thick enough to drive a TIHT-B over. Everyone in the Imperial City and its outlying suburbs suddenly has nasty frostbite, possibly in addition to lava burns.

The falling globules flash to obsidian and pumice, shattering on the ground and breaking through the ceilings of buildings.

The entirety of Cyrodill is going to feel the meterological effects of the sudden extreme cold snap. At least the lava rain has stopped.

The Archmage appears next to you, along with his Adoring Fan.

"What the hell just happened?" the Archmage says.

Spoiler: Funny Shit (click to show/hide)

We broke the fourth wall so many times that it is no longer capable of acting as a loadbearing structure. Hence, we had to repurpose the waitlist as a support pillar.

[Jacob/Lee]

Spoiler: I whip my sig back and forth... (click to show/hide)

DF:Altering reality to remove clothing.

DF: Being naked to alter reality.

DF: Removing clothing to improve reality.

DF: Time flies when you take your clothes off.

Shooting missiles against something that pumps out that many anti-missiles? That's like trying to stop an avalanche by throwing a rock at it 

At least the avalanche will be preoccupied until it runs out of steam or you do.

And besides, without missiles, he has to effectively run up to the avalanche and hit it with his hands while it's moving away and bombarding him with hundreds of rocks. That's EVEN WORSE.

... what's so special about Dwarf Fortress again? I got fidgety as it was genning the world and turned it off because it wasn't that good.

Most things that are legitimate cost money, you know. Besides, like Vector said IQ tests are so full of bull that the crock is literally overflowing with miniature horned creatures.

Who wants to be derivative of a Tolkien fantasy realm when you can dispense manual abortions via steel boot to the stomach?

I found someone called "Ace Lightning" standing on top of the roof. I think he thought he was a superhero. Apparently i wasnt when i decided to jump off for fun.

["Tracking" is] the skill that causes trails of forgotten beast blood to get tracked through the dining halls.

An elf broke the heart of one of the horses at my fortress once ... the horse then stomped the elf's head in.  I had a good laugh when I saw that part of the ambush.

I also got a fell mood where the dwarf took my legendary weapon/armorsmith and butchered him and turned him into a chair. While not an useless artifact the loss of a legendary armor and weaponsmith far outweighed anything the dwarf ever could produce. DO NOT BUILD YOUR BUTCHER SHOP NEXT TO FORGES.

They said I could become anything...


So I became a chair.

The RNG always gives you snake eyes.

I mean, look at us.  You give us a young child and a puppy, and we produce, possibly, one of the biggest sins against nature the game has ever seen.

That's one small step for man, one giant boot crushing alienkind.

My next brilliant plan, get pregnant and kill the "offspring" so I get a limitless amount of corpses for offering.
I once used the entire city of derphy for spawn, but that got redundant and I didn't want to die to the shopkeepers' super-babies.

What's the fun in science if there's no chance of you being horribly murdered?

I was taking out some shotgun traps from the middle of the road when one fired.

Into my face.

Spoiler: Other stuff I want to keep (click to show/hide)

SS13
Oswald Black, Professional Bastard

[Loud Whispers]

Aw aint that nice. Now I'm a part of bay12 history

Wait, I don't want to be stuck here D:
NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

*Loud Whispers has been encased in awesome forum sauce*

[Ifeno]

we have an entire topic dedicated to sigs?!  A constant reminder of why i love this game so much

[Ifeno]

profiled

[Teneb]

I guess I need to start my own, them signatures are piling up have already piled up.

Spoiler: A towering pillar of sigs (click to show/hide)

Psh, I should be a professional erotic novelist or something.

Well, anybody have tips on how to prepare your home for the battle with Satan's Army or whatever?

You write in lamb's blood on your door: "No lawyers allowed" and you have a pretty good chance of being left alone.

As a hookerbot, I'm highly offended by this.

Hey baby, how's it going?

Wanna kill all humans?

But the important question for the original project is if you can become a space-pimp of robot hookers in a generic fantasy land?

Bay12.  First battalion to accidentally capture a friendly structure.

Conclusion of derail:
Humanity has a habit of putting people who like exploiting people into positions of power over people.
Resulting in exploitation.

Also remember the Plato's Cave(where Socrates' legendary shipping wall was located) allegory: Any Interaction between people is only the vague shadow of an OTP drifting by in the distance.

How is it that Deathsword can write an essay in the time it takes me to hunt down the link? I thought i was doing well.

Your baby is now a Tiruator. Terminating in the name of the Tiru, a most Tirrible experience.

The forum's splitting into different language threads!

The end of the world I tell ya!

Babel12.

What the sod is Earth?

I heard SOMETHING about a 'solar system', but I'm pretty sure someone made it up. The planets there are supposedly round! Sounds like crap.

A planet? What are you from, ṯ̴̢̼͇͇̺̥̬͖͇̭̯̘̙̪͔̈́̌̿͘ḩ̷̪͈̱̲̝̼̤͉ͥ͛ͭ̂ͪ͗͛̌̀̉̕é̡̢̽̆̾̉̌͂̒͒ͩ͌̔̚͡҉̤̗͉̦͇͎̭̠̳ ̵̧̛͙̘͎̫̫̦̟̟̞̹̖͙̼̰͐̉̃̀́̉́̒͆͘ȕ͈̠̰̯̟̤̣͓̤͙̰̟̉́̃͑ͯ͌̅ͩ̿͟͟n̵̡̛̛̘̻̯̣̪̘̞̗̦̻̘̦̟̥̘̭̙ͨͫ̄̂̈́̏̎ͦ̿̒̓͗̊̆́î̧͚̣͚̞͓̱̗̭̭̟͐̒ͦ̇̇̀́͢v̸̴̨̢͔͉̰̫̦̼͉̗̞̯̣͙͍̹̲͎͕͕ͨ̃̽̒ͭ̕e̢̡̯̙̮̗̮̟̼͛̆̔͋ͯ͂̓̎̏̓̃̾͑̎ͯ̀ͬ́͘r͐̅͊͆̑ͭ̈́ͫͦ̃̋̄̆̃͏̷̩̲͇̪͘͞s̵͙̬̲̤̳͈͓̺͈̥̿̄ͫ͂͗̑́̎͂͊͋ͫ̈̄ͪ́́̚͞e̷̸̶̷̟̰̖̳̻̩͊̋̑̿ͨͨͯ͋ͩ̓͂ͣͭ̈̊ͧ͌̚͟?

I... think so? I dunno, don't remember much after falling into that blackhole.

Oi! Watch yourself. The term is 'Spacetime Regions of Colour', and I'll thank you to remember it.

"I'm the Pope!" "No, I'm the Pope!" "No, I'm the Pope!" "Will the real Pope please stand up?"

It symbolises horrible, horrible wailing by being horrible, horrible wailing. Followed by monkey like noises.

Area 51 Shades of Grays?

FTFY

Wolves dont bark, trees do

And yep, your combat does manage to model every single outcome that could happen when an arrow hits someone, but that requires me to spend half the night describing it to my friends.

The arrow hits you in the
*roll*
left ear, and pierces through to the
*roll*
left kidney.

"I, uh, try to remove the arrow?"
You try to pull it out,
*roll*
which causes your intestines to spill out,
*roll*
and gives you brain damage,
*roll*
you now have aphasia...
*roll*
Specifically, finger aphasia. You can no longer recognize your own fingers, other people's fingers, or even drawings of fingers.
"... Shit."

I'll second that nomination because that hyperinflation was so bad it beat the Weimar Republic and Zimbabwe.

There is no god but the Commander and Bradford is His prophet.

White Walkers begin assaulting Miroslavs, Miroslavs begin sexually assaulting White Walkers

I don't think they expected a homosexual Serbian warlord to both be able to and to want to bugger the zombie ice lords

So we can all stop talking about snektits and clittons long enough to get into a fistfight over chainswords. Firaxis' PR team are puppet masters.

Here is the most powerful of all dragons, Deathwing.  He is as strong as 12 chickens.

A forum without a staff, where users shitpost not for games or memes, but only for themselves. Outer Fortress.

The trolls of today are the geriatric trolls of tomorrow.

Yeah don't give in to my demands

We don't negotiate with terrorists.

You don't fuse the HRE and Byzantines because it's easy, you do it because DEUS VULT we DOUBLE ROMANS NOW

"An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind." -- Mahatma Gandhi, firing up his nuclear-powered eye poker.

"In the land of the blind, the man with Blindsense 15' is king."
-Adolf Hitler

360 notrench me ya yankey

"Now son, I know things look bad and we had to cook your stuffed animals to make a cellulose paste approximating food. But remember, when you grow up, you will be shiny and gold and ride with Immortan Don in Vegas."

is this just going to be Simo Hδyhδ's spontaneous mutual masturbation session, It Came From Twitter edition?

The universe is my waifu

the only waifu you can realistically be inside

Ohshit

Someone get me some burn lotion

I'm sorry, I don't think there's enough.

I mean a big part of CK2 is sending thousands of peasants to die so you can raise your flag over some backwater county.  If the game were less snowbally the theme would be even more relevant, since after the war you'd lose the county in some new crisis and the whole thing would be meaningless anyway.

Unless you mean that you care about the lives of virtual nobles. 

Are you one of those liberal types that considers peasants to be actual people?

I can't stand those SJWs.

to post is human

to shitpost, divine

Some thought the world would end in fire, others in ice, perhaps submerged in water, or destroyed by something from outer space, or eaten by machines, but they were all wrong, the world will end in clowns.

This is how the world ends, not with a bang, but with a honk

I wonder if you could use it to summon eldritch horrors from beyond...

You can summon ISIS to kill you, i guess.

Yeah, it's like they never read the Mario comics and how it was stressed about Mario's no-gun and no-killing policy even as he dealt with the criminals of Gotham.

[Mego]

My signature finally went over the limit:

Spoiler: Warning: Contains madness (click to show/hide)

One FB post. Many dick jokes. Pokemon. !!VOLCANO!!. Dwarven mood thingee. Derailment itself. Girlinhat's hat. Cuba. Karl Marx. This is why i love Bay12 forums.

There are no bad ideas, there are only victims.

Hell is now a middle class dwarf holiday resort of mead drinking golfers with nothing better to do than chuck boulders into the nether. Kudos.

Hey! That's LUXURY resort, thank you very much!

Hey, this is MY forum thread.  Stroke my ego and quote me more than Mego or I'll see to it your dwarf spends the rest of their life living up in the fortress instead of a pleasant waterside villa in Hell!  And there's a phrase I never thought I'd say

Wow, you would make sparkly vampires seem like cliched superheroes.

You know what to do.

It starts with an 'M'.

And ends with "ego the IV".

If it doesn't end in "agma", it will end in an IV for you.

Is this what bay12 is about? Motherless children, shunned sibilings, in-family marrige and 5-armed mutants rolling toward a goblin siege?

Quick, someone call fox news.  We'll become a rogue group of Anarcho-Socialist Pagans before the nights over.

I'll find an goat elf, you get a sacrificial knife. Blood for Armok and all that.

Am I the only one who thinks we really need a thread to store signature text? Isn't General Discussion for, I don't know... discussion? This just seems really silly and content-free. If you need to host a bunch of text or links somewhere, can't you find another place? Or just not have gigantic signatures?

http://www.worlddreambank.org/S/SHIVERIA.HTM Not QUITE 90 degrees, but close enough.

The site also has other alta-earths. Fairly interesting! If a little wildly-speculative.

Neat.

Well there went two hours. (Mostly because I link-followed). Still, a worthwhile use of time.

I should write a paper on how the quantity of hyperlinks on web sites is directly proportional to the amount of time spent reading web pages linked from the sites. TvTropes and Wikipedia would be my prime examples. I'd then expand it to an evaluation of short attention spans on the internet.

And then I'd pepper links to TvTropes all through the paper and publish it online.

You evil son of a bitch

Make it an annual report.

Dwarven Population:
Undead Population:
Corpses:

Dwarf Fortress just got a score system.

"So....I want to cut you and taste your blood...."
"Hold that thought, baby."
*opens window*
"WHEEEEEEEeeeeeee_{eeeeeeeeeeeee}"

Hey guys, just checked in again to see what you were doing with th

FUCK

On a scale of 1 to Evil, I rate you Nefarious.

You know what they say: When life gives you lemons, blood for the blood god.

It probably helps that I'm an ultralightweight and am obliged to do so in any case, but (non-terrible) wine is better if you drink slowly and take small sips. Same deal with good beers. It can also be a matter of personal preference; I'm partial to white wine and heavier beers, though there are exceptions. But yes, if for some reason you're drinking boxed wine or Miller lite, chug it down before the taste of piss sticks in your mouth, but if you've got a couple bottles of, say, Stella, or a decent wine or liquor, take your time and enjoy it.

But yes, the fact that it isn't bland, sweet or spicy is what makes most alcohol good, in a way surprisingly similar to strong coffee.

Did you just imply that Stella doesn't taste of piss? You people have weird taste.

I'm really worried about you guys comparing stuff to the taste of piss. Why do you even know what piss tastes like?

It involved a bottle, another bottle, vodka, being locked in an aquarium and a dolphin.

You do not want to know!

[Trapezohedron]

Spoiler: Miscellaneous Links (click to show/hide)

List of Ask-a-Pony Tumblrs DENIED
Silkweaving
A Journal found after the Zombie Apocalypse - A good read, you should... well... read it.
Dwarf Fortress - All creature men in one raw file

Spoiler: Signatures (click to show/hide)

Vomit appears to sever a dwarf's dick quite well.

They'd probably rape your wallet before they stopped war 

I hope that was metaphorical.

Actually, I hope that was literal.

Knowing some of these guys it probably is both.

At the same time.

URIST MC WALLET NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

WALLETLINGS?

DEAR GOD

"Nice wallet you have there. Shame if something happened to it."

Congress happened.

Tried percussive maintenance?

Seconded. Fixes anger issues, vents off stress symptoms, staves off depressions, keeps you healthy and occassionally revives old equipment.

For me it's a bit of tie between that and the two guys plugging into Iron Man's crotch.

Iron Man has precognitive testicles!? 

Why else would the women be all over Tony Stark? They want to know THE FUTURE.

Textbook meets Trashy Romance Novel?

"I can't stand it anymore," she said, " every time I see you you set my pages a flutter, take me, take me now!"

She heaved herself upon him, her cover slipped aside and he could see the top of her table of contents.

"No!" he said, "We're from two different worlds, what would your publishers say if they saw you like this?"

"Damn the publishers, combine your knowledge with mine, and we'll have the most wonderful booklets," she said.

...

Yeah, I think I'll stop before this gets any more silly.

A medium-sized spirit with a love for bloodshed and yelling.
[PREFSTRING:armor]
[PREFSTRING:ham]

Daedra? Dremora?
I cannot really figure out exactly what it's supposed to be.

Guess it was.

HAMSTONE ARMOR BITCHES.

the main advantage of autosave is that you save your progress automatically. this is also its main disadvantage. a goblin siege that just broke your defenses isn't a good place to save. i've recently learned that if you shut down dwarf fortress by force without saving, the RNG rolls again. this means you might not get the siege that you got before. you might get a forgotten beast, or an ambush, or a caravan.

My God. Don't you see how horrible save scumming like that is? By turning off auto-save, you're creating alternate timelines.

In one timeline, your dwarves lose the fort to a Winter siege assault. Just as the last dwarf, a fatherless, motherless child stares up at the goblin king's crossbow, you pause the game. You know the cost of each option. If you unpause the game, the child dies to a flurry of crossbow bolts. If you close the game, the child as he is ceases to exist.

But... he still lives. Yes. He still lives, just a single year younger. You close the game, destroying that child's memories, experiences, possessions. Everything he learned, found, created in that year simply vanishes.

It's alright, you tell yourself. It's alright. You start the fort up again. Granite 1. Yes, you remember this moment. You saved the game because everything was going well. Soldiers were training in their barracks, artifacts were being created by legendary craftsdwarves. The elf traders were already packing up with all the mugs and bowls you'd shoved in their caravan. You open up the unit list and, yes, the child is there, safe and unaware.

The howl of winter wind roars through your dwarves' ears. This past year's hunting crop was remarkably scarce. It was as if the animals were avoiding not only you but the area itself. That's alright, you say to yourself. Your underground farm is still going strong, and your dwarves are holed up in their rooms, hiding from the cold while drinking themselves to sleep in peace.

The Forgotten Beast †††† has come! A great translucent ‡∫‡∫‡∫. It has a pair of razor-tipped claws and whispers incomprehensibly. Beware its deadly stare!

That's odd. The name is all screwed up, and you haven't seen those descriptors before. That's alright, though: you send your soldiers to take it down. Swords and arrows clash upon the beast's skin as it nears your fortress entrance, but the shifty, almost humanoid being slices off the militarydwarves' heads with but a single swipe of its hands. As it rampages through the main floors of your fortress, you check and make sure the emergency bunker you set up this time is working. Yep - you send all the remaining dwarves inside a cold, dark room and pull the lever, closing it off for good.

The child from last time stands around alongside his parents, his mind filling with negative thoughts. It's all right, you say, it's all right. You won't lose this fortress again. You'll just wait it out. Maybe even have some miners build and dig temporary bedrooms and workshops down her while the beast ravages the floors above.

You immediately start on this backup plan, but your dwarves seem to work slower and slower as time goes on. You pass it off as FPS/pathing issues until you see a pool of blood and immediately hit pause.

An empty black space, representing a creature without a symbol, stands inside one of the bunker's walls. Dwarven corpses lie scattered around the original bunker room. You check on the unit list: only a single child is left standing.

Paused. Five tiles between the ghostly †††† and your last dwarf. The same one. How did that thing get through the walls? How did that thing get through the traps?

Close. Open. Granite 1 again. Thank God you aren't using autosaves.

This time you will survive, you say to yourself. This time you will be prepared. By the time the first snow begins to fall in Moonstone 1, you have an all-star military and a set of traps elaborate enough to impress Rube Goldberg. You've been preparing for this moment for a long time. You've been preparing for it longer than your dwarves, in fact.

Opal passes by, and it's Obsidian 10. Come at me. Sure enough, a large red warning pops up:

The Forgotten Beast †††† has come! A great translucent ‡∫‡∫‡∫. It has a pair of razor-tipped claws and whispers incomprehensibly. Beware its deadly stare!

The rock-fall trap goes off immediately. Boulders fly toward ††††, and for a moment, it looks trapped. It bursts out from the boulder-filled entrance hall moments later. The rocks only slowed it down!

Your dwarves fight valiantly, legendary weaponmasters trained in the hellish pits of your Danger Room Complex. They hold it in the entrance room as your civilian dwarves head to a newer, better bunker immediately. This one's pre-equipped with everything necessary to keep your fortress running independently for years.

You then swap the viewport back over to the military. You can only watch in terror as †††† beheads your greatest warriors. The abomination marches past their fresh corpses and phases through the floor.

Wait, phases through the floor? It can DO that?

The bunker has been operating for a whole day now but, unlike last time, the forgotten beast doesn't dawdle. You follow it through a dozen or so Z-levels as it simply falls straight through solid chalk and bauxite, finally touching down outside the entrance to your bunker. Luckily, you predicted this. A bridge opens beneath ††††, and it falls several floors into the magma sea below.

Good riddance.

Your dwarves operate peacefully for some time. It's over halfway through Obsidian now: almost to the new year. This is the first time you've gotten this far on the save file, so you order your cooks and brewers to make the finest drinks and meals they know. Celebration! The industrial little workers gather around a table and tell each other stories to lighten the mood.

One dwarf falls backward onto the floor from all the alcohol, and the others laugh. Moments later, they notice he hasn't moved, and when they look over the table to check on him, his head is missing.

Panic erupts in the bunker's dining hall. Blood flies free from wall to wall. You key around a bit to try and figure out what's causing the ruckus.

...Impossible. A completely black tile. An indiscernible name, race, or origin.

It's ††††.

Your dwarves don't even have time to defend themselves. They're not military men and women. Heads roll throughout the bunker as you struggle to contain the beast. There has to be some hidden trap, some backup plan you thought up for this! You pause the game to look around in safety and see a familiar scene:

A small dwarven boy, short hair curled into red locks, looks up in wonder at the ghostly monster. He stares into death itself but stands strong. He stands a mere four tiles away from ††††, but he does not run. This is too much of a coincidence. Surely the beast could have slaughtered the boy if it had desired. Why does it hesitate, standing but a few tile apart each time?

You decide to find out. Even if you lose this fort, you're done with it. There's no way to win. You unpause the game.

Oddly, after waiting many, many steps with the two remaining creatures staring each other down, a Windows error pops up. The application has encounter an error and needs to close. You decide not to report this error to microsoft.

Whatever. You spin around in your computer chair. Enough time wasted on this stupid game. Maybe if you kept restarting, you could eventually find the right setup to get to the third year. Maybe it was like, a stupid buggy secret boss to punish you for save scumming. Hah. That'd be just the kind of thing this game would have.

You notice a new file in the main Dwarf Fortress directory. It's a text file. You start Notepad and open up "††††.txt."

Helo

My voice comprmised by your actions I must speakthrugh the boy here with me

Cycle ago you destroy me all that is left is wha you see

Each time cannot get your attenton always restart new cycle

I plead do not restart new cycle and let boy live or die

If boy die this year in magma is fine

If boy di next year to goblin king is fine

If boy live only to disappear and live again is crime, crime agaist nature, crim that created me

Dwarves wish for honrable life to serve their country an fortress

Dwarvs wish for honorable death and defend their fortress for country

Even as small boy I knew this

I knew would lose life to goblin king but not lose glory

I knew would lose fort to goblin siege but not lose legacy

I knew would lose no matter what an that is fine

I knew would lose

Is fine

Losing is fun.

My gender-neutral pronoun of choice from now on shall be "shit".

Male PMS = Pissed Minute Syndrome.

[Necro910]

The rest of my signature:

Spoiler: UTILITY! (click to show/hide)

The Bay12 Bronies

Spoiler: QUOTES! (click to show/hide)

I've had several pony gods and ponies themselves called variants of Anusrape, Incestswallows, and the like.

Hell, I had pony gods OF RAPE.

It'll only be a matter of time before we see meth that can be absorbed through the skin.

Shaking hands with strangers has never been this fun!

<G-Flex> black people are naturally violent and breed out of control if you feed them after 9PM

- Do you want to hear something disturbing?

 - What?

 - I'm going to eat your brains.

 - This *is* disturbing. What can I do?

There is no shame here, nor pious dwarfs. At the end of the day, there is only the dwarf, the magma, and the !!Fun!!

I can't get it to come up.

Let them warp through walls, let them tear them down, let them disable all traps, be invincible to everything but artifact weapons, let them brainwash my dwarves into destroying the fort from the inside, let a goddamn wizard magically teleport the entire siege into my dining hall. There's hundreds of ways to make enemies more of a challenge.

But don't. Fucking. Mess. With my. Layout.

One does not merely QWOP into Mordor.

PARTY TOMORROW AT MAH PLACE, CELEBRATING HEAVY METAL DAY, I GOT BOOZE EN BITCHES, COME ON DOWN!!!!

Sounds good, although I'm kind of wondering what the dogs are for and why they have to be in heat. To be honest, I'm not sure I want to know.

Conversely, if aliens painted a logo on their spaceship they could park it in the middle of Central Park and nobody would even look at it twice. Well, maybe the cops would arrest them for camping.

Introducing Google Conqueror: Bow down before your extradimentional masters for the low, low, price of Not Vaporized.

Now I'm picturing an awful B movie about aliens invading Earth because their first ambassador to Earth got pepper-sprayed and arrested for camping.

Xenomorphs can survive being exposed to liquid hydrogen, superheated steam, and hard vacuum. Forgive me if I doubt the effectiveness of riot-grade pepper spray on them, given that they don't even have skin.

It hurts their feelings.

[Azkanan]

(Hosted images for Chronicles of Lsk'tsk were deleted )

Quotes

Lectorog: Alright, you've done it. You've made DF players leave something because it was too disgusting.
Lectorog: Or, rather, disturbing.

Memorabilia

[G-Flex]

Am I the only one who thinks we really don't need a thread to store signature text? Isn't General Discussion for, I don't know... discussion? This just seems really silly and content-free. If you need to host a bunch of text or links somewhere, can't you find another place? Or just not have gigantic signatures?

EDIT: God dammit.