Ok then, thanks everyone, I was overthinking as usual, still, it's a fine game.
And they were overstating it too
.
I just had quite nice tantrum spiral happen and it seems that my fotress is doomed: Lots of kids pushed my population up "dutchry" level and sieges started comming regulary. Eventually first two military dwarves died. Since everyone is friends/family with everyone else, couple of unhappy thoughts happened, tantrum from spouse which got beaten as result, cue in more sieges/deaths/tantrums. My fort is at edge of doom as each siege removes one or two soldiers which impacts population back home and losses me another two dwarves.
Drafting from population is not possible: enough dwarves went insane/melancholic that food production is endangered (not that easy to feed 100 dwarves when your cook, miller, farmer and brewer decide to commind synchronized moat-jump suicide.). Besides, they would not be trained fast enough to be able to face sieges (champions that oh so regularly die are ledendary armor/shield/hammer/crossbow/wrestler trained. Still does not save them from well aimed arrows it seems.). And I still have 100+ population which consists mostly of children now so i get apropriatelly sized sieges and multi-group ambushes.
Doom is guarantted: eventually, i will run out of soldiers and goblins will butcher all children once quickly drafted milita is dead.
If only migrants stopped calling my fort "cursed deathtrap" and stopped avoiding it.