Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[RAM]

.....g|g..gg|g..g..     .....
....g...ggg.g.g....     .....
..O=============O..     .....
..║##++++D+++≈≈≈║..     .....
..║#+++++D++++≈≈║..     .....
..║░ε++++&+++≈≈≈║..
..║░]++++&++++++║..
..║░+(+++&+c++++║..
..║++++++&c+c▒▒▒║..
..║+DGD++++c++D▒║..
*.║+D++D++c+c▒▒▒║..
**║++++++++c+c++║..
**O=============O..
****..E.E..E.E..E..
*****..E.E...E.E.E.

Bowyer's Workshop: 3 Catbone Crossbows.

Resorting to 'Deathworks: For fun and profit' I create a Bowyer's workshop and use its power to build 3 bone crossbows, and gain 3 points in Bowyer.

[Keita]

Well, I hope I'm not to late to join such an arbouse game. Ha har!

Right! As per the rule "DUDE! Stop playing games and get a life!" on page 294 paragraph 5 of the book Addictions: There Role in TACTICUS. Which allows me to take a unit from a well know game and put it into play. I chose J.C. Denton

.....g|g..gg|g..g..     .....
....g...ggg.g.g....     .....
..O=============O..     .....
..║##++++D+++≈≈≈║..     .....
..║#+++++D+J++≈≈║..     .....
..║░ε++++&+++≈≈≈║..
..║░]++++&++++++║..
..║░+(+++&+c++++║..
..║++++++&c+c▒▒▒║..
..║+DGD++++c++D▒║..
*.║+D++D++c+c▒▒▒║..
**║++++++++c+c++║..
**O=============O..
****..E.E..E.E..E..
*****..E.E...E.E.E.


Ah, now I'm reminded of a game were there was a fight between Morrigan and Gordon Freeman. We didn't see who won as their combined awesomeness destroyed the table as they drew into charging range.

[RAM]

I cite the entirety of 'How Awesome I am!!!: A Tacitus Fanfic!!!'. Which obviously causes J.C. to shrink due to shame.

.....g|g..gg|g..g..     .....
....g...ggg.g.g....     .....
..O=============O..     .....
..║##++++D+++≈≈≈║..     .....
..║#+++++D+j++≈≈║..     .....
..║░ε++++&+++≈≈≈║..
..║░]++++&++++++║..
..║░+(+++&+c++++║..
..║++++++&c+c▒▒▒║..
..║+DGD++++c++D▒║..
*.║+D++D++c+c▒▒▒║..
**║++++++++c+c++║..
**O=============O..
****..E.E..E.E..E..
*****..E.E...E.E.E.

[Humaan]

Sadly for you all, I apply Rule 5 of architecture in Tacticus: How Real Life Physics Apply, permiting me to remove any walls not made of any indicated material, which would be... all of them!

.....g|g..gg|g..g..     .....
....g...ggg.g.g....     .....
...................     .....
...##++++D+++≈≈≈...     .....
...#+++++D+j++≈≈...     .....
...░ε++++&+++≈≈≈...
...░]++++&++++++...
...░+(+++&+c++++...
...++++++&c+c▒▒▒...
...+DGD++++c++D▒...
*..+D++D++c+c▒▒▒...
**.++++++++c+c++...
**.................
****..E.E..E.E..E..
*****..E.E...E.E.E.

From the same book, I also apply rule 2 of Weapons, making complex weapons made of bone inopperable!

Finally, in the last rule of the same book, aka. The Afterthought Rule, applying 3 rules any given turn results in the creation of a time paradox square, making it impassible. It shall engulf adjacent tiles each time this happens!

.....g|g..gg|g..g..     .....
....g...ggg.g.g....     .....
...................     .....
...##++++D+++≈≈≈...     .....
...#+++++D+j++≈≈...     .....
...░ε++++&+++≈≈≈...
...░]++++&+++#++...
...░+(+++&+c++++...
...++++++&c+c▒▒▒...
...+DGD++++c++D▒...
*..+D++D++c+c▒▒▒...
**.++++++++c+c++...
**.................
****..E.E..E.E..E..
*****..E.E...E.E.E.

# = Time Paradox Square, for those illiterate in the tiles.

[LeoLeonardoIII]

As the wall is no longer in place, my Wide-Bottom Dwarf must now seize the nearest article of flaming clothing. Luckily there is no flaming clothing available.

For my turn, I employ Garman's Horticulture, which, while not largely a book on TACTICUS, had some typographical errors which can be interpreted as rule changes.

The rule allows me to add a band of terrain six tiles thick on any one side of the game board.


.............................
.............................
.............................
.............................
.............................
.............................
.....g|g..gg|g..g..     .....
....g...ggg.g.g....     .....
...................     .....
...##++++D+++≈≈≈...     .....
...#+++++D+j++≈≈...     .....
...░ε++++&+++≈≈≈...
...░]++++&+++#++...
...░+(+++&+c++++...
...++++++&c+c▒▒▒...
...+DGD++++c++D▒...
*..+D++D++c+c▒▒▒...
**.++++++++c+c++...
**.................
****..E.E..E.E..E..
*****..E.E...E.E.E.

Then, I shall bring up a little-known comment in the code from Deus Ex III: Thrice as Bad As II which suggests that at any time a player can set JC Denton's socks on fire and he will throw them in a random direction 1d6 tiles.

*Roll roll*

JC Denton throws his sock north 7 and west 3.

Unfortunately for the goblins, my Wide-Bottom Dwarf now has a target. He laboriously turns and charges through the assembled Goblins to the location of the !!sock!!, picks it up, and becomes a !!Wide-Bottom Dwarf!!.


.............................
.............................
.............................
.......DD....................
.............................
.............................
.....g|...gg|g..g..     .....
....g.....g.g.g....     .....
...................     .....
...##++++++++≈≈≈...     .....
...#+++++++j++≈≈...     .....
...░ε++++&+++≈≈≈...
...░]++++&+++#++...
...░+(+++&+c++++...
...++++++&c+c▒▒▒...
...+DGD++++c++D▒...
*..+D++D++c+c▒▒▒...
**.++++++++c+c++...
**.................
****..E.E..E.E..E..
*****..E.E...E.E.E.

[dragnar]

I shall summon one barrel of dwarven rum near the center of the board. According to the writings of The Toady One, this will cause the !!Wide-Bottom Dwarf!! to charge toward it and create a large explosion on impact. He shall reach the barrel in two turns.


.............................
.............................
.............................
.............................
.............................
.............................
.....g|...gg|g..g..     .....
....g.......g.g....     .....
..........DD.......     .....
...##++++++++≈≈≈...     .....
...#+++++++j++≈≈...     .....
...░ε++++&+++≈≈≈...
...░]++++&+++#++...
...░+(+++&+c++++...
...++++++&c+c▒▒▒...
...+DGD++%+c++D▒...
*..+D++D++c+c▒▒▒...
**.++++++++c+c++...
**.................
****..E.E..E.E..E..
*****..E.E...E.E.E.

[RedWarrior0]

I activate the option known as Cat Multiplication Tactics: OH GAWD TEH LAG!!!1!!, with which I place three Super Speed Reproducing Cats, which fill all tiles in a 5x5 area centered on them with  normal cats.

I then activate the Epic Rare card, purchased off eBay, that is called Raw Modifications. Prepare yourselves!

.............................
.............C...............
.....C.......................
.............................
.............................
.............................
.....g|...gg|g..g..     .....
....g.C.....g.g....     .....
..........DD.......     .....
...##++++++++≈≈≈...     .....
...#+++++++j++≈≈...     .....
...░ε++++&+++≈≈≈...
...░]++++&+++#++...
...░+(+++&+c++++...
...++++++&c+c▒▒▒...
...+DGD++%+c++D▒...
*..+D++D++c+c▒▒▒...
**.++++++++c+c++...
**.................
****..E.E..E.E..E..
*****..E.E...E.E.E.

[LeoLeonardoIII]

To see a gentleman resort to eBay in a game of TACTICUS gives one pause. Were it not for the extreme caliber of your character and your fine reputation, I would think such a thing to be crude, sir.

Of course, your excellent employment of cat-related tactics shows you to be an eminently capable player.

[RedWarrior0]

True. All of my other cards, including three more Epic Rares were bought legitimately. Of course, Raw Modification cost well over four hundred dollars for one in mint condition, as mine is.

[ein]

Using the Untitled Rulebook on Caravans [p. 42], I determine that the dwarven caravan has overstayed its welcome and has departed for the mountainhomes.


.............................
.............C...............
.....C.......................
.............................
.............................
.............................
.....g|...gg|g..g..     .....
....g.C.....g.g....     .....
..........DD.......     .....
...##++++++++≈≈≈...     .....
...#+++++++j++≈≈...     .....
...░ε++++&+++≈≈≈...
...░]++++&+++#++...
...░+(+++&+c++++...
...++++++&c+c+++...
...+DGD++%+c++++...
*..+D++D++c+c+++...
**.++++++++c+c++...
**.................
****..E.E..E.E..E..
*****..E.E...E.E.E.

Next, using Modern Warfare for Dummies, Chapter 2, I place a nuclear bomb in the middle of the board. Unless somebody disarms it, it will go off at an unspecified time as per Quantum Unknowns [p. żżż].


.............................
.............C...............
.....C.......................
.............................
.............................
.............................
.....g|...gg|g..g..     .....
....g.C.....g.g....     .....
..........DD.......     .....
...##++++++++≈≈≈...     .....
...#+++++++j++≈≈...     .....
...░ε++++&+++≈≈≈...
...░]++++&+++#++...
...░+(+++&@c++++...
...++++++&c+c+++...
...+DGD++%+c++++...
*..+D++D++c+c+++...
**.++++++++c+c++...
**.................
****..E.E..E.E..E..
*****..E.E...E.E.E.

[RedWarrior0]

...........CCCCC.............
...CCCCC...CCCCC.............
...CCCCC...CCCCC.............
...CCCCC...CCCCC.............
...CCCCC...CCCCC.............
...CCCCC.....................
.............................
.....g|...gg|g..g..     .....
....g.C.....g.g....     .....
..........DD.......     .....
...##++++++++≈≈≈...     .....
...#+++++++j++≈≈...     .....
...░ε++++&+++≈≈≈...
...░]++++&+++#++...
...░+(+++&@c++++...
...++++++&c+c+++...
...+DGD++%+c++++...
*..+D++D++c+c+++...
**.++++++++c+c++...
**.................
****..E.E..E.E..E..
*****..E.E...E.E.E.

That is what the board should have looked like after that turn. Now, I use the card I played last turn to modify the Super Speed Reproducing Cats from last turn to have [FIXED_TEMP:40000] and [SEVERONBREAKS]!!! HAH! Of course, the pathing lag is a pain, and it won't occur until after three more people post turns.

Note: Raw Modifications is a global use card. Anybody can use it.

[qwertyuiopas]

What is this card thing? Back in the days when I first came upon a tacticus game, there were no cards! In fact, all these recent books weren't even used back then. I still have my granitycopy set of standard rules... (Pun on hardcopy, not the first time I used it in a tacticus game, either)

[Armok]

I am delighted to see such a gentlemanly game! Sadly, I must for the moment rerfrin from joining.

[dragnar]

As the aforementioned number of turns have passed, the !!Wide-Bottom Dwarf!! has reached my barrel of rum, causing the area around it to become totally decimated, making it totally impassable.
...........CCCCC.............
...CCCCC...CCCCC.............
...CCCCC...CCCCC.............
...CCCCC...CCCCC.............
...CCCCC...CCCCC.............
...CCCCC.....................
.............................
.....g|...gg|g..g..     .....
....g.C.....g.g....     .....
...................     .....
...##++++++++≈≈≈...     .....
...#+++++++j++≈≈...     .....
...░ε++++&+++≈≈≈...
...░]++++&+++#++...
...░+(+++ @c++++...
...+++++   +c+++...
...+DGD     ++++...
*..+D++D   +c+++...
**.++++++ +c+c++...
**.................
****..E.E..E.E..E..
*****..E.E...E.E.E.

[RAM]

Hmmm, *examines card, leaving a grubby fingerprint behind* I will use its 'Add_Token' property to add the old [Detonates_Nuclear_Devices_on_Contact] tag to j.C. Denton. I refer to 'The Joy of Rules Lawyering' to remind the cats that they are normal cats. Finally, I cite 'The Ribbiting' to demonstrate that Frog Demons tendd to emerge from holes...
...........ccccc.............
...ccccc...ccccc.............
...ccccc...ccCcc.............
...ccCcc...ccccc.............
...ccccc...ccccc.............
...ccccc.....................
...|ccccc....................
...gccccc.gg|g..g..     .....
...gccCcc...g.g....     .....
....ccccc..........     .....
...#ccccc++++≈≈≈...     .....
...##++++++j++≈≈...     .....
...░ε++++&+++≈≈≈...
...░]++++&+++#++...
...░+(+++&@c++++...
...+++++&&&+c+++...
...+DGD&&&&&++++...
*..+D++D&&&+c+++...
**.++++++&+c+c++...
**.................
****..E.E..E.E..E..
*****..E.E...E.E.E.