Whoa... I'd strongly disagree with some of the advice in this thread, but I'm not going to bother commenting. Just remember to use common sense when accepting advice on the Internet. Your first draft resume was more impressive, IMHO. Be careful when relying on advice on the Internet, and that includes the stuff you get from Google.
The "Your first draft resume was more impressive, IMHO" basically negates your opinion as having any value to help him.
His first draft was horrible (no offense rng). I can 100% for sure indicate that spelling errors in a resume is bad.
Aye, no shit. I love how he's like "oh there's bad advice BUT I WILL NOT COMMENT! MUST RETAIN MY CLOAK OF MYSTERY". It's cute, really. Unsubstantiative and largely useless to his audience, but cute.
So Muz, what HR experience do you have? I'm not looking to start a dick-measuring contest, but I do know that while a more
enlightened HR person might overlook an awkward-sounding cover letter and a poorly formed resume, there's a reason the term "HR drone" exists. It's an entry level position. They get approximately
umpteen thousand applicants. You have to show the professionalism that they don't just teach you in school to get a really good second look. And a very large part of that professionalism, at this stage of his career, is "get to the point and shut up."
Which is more than most people can say, especially since I despise work, have no ambition and hate "careers". There is no "One True Way" of writing resumes and CV's, is all I'm saying. A wannabe slavedrone might start one with "To whom it may concern", for instance.
No, there are many ways to do it.
Once you have job experience that makes you worth hiring. He doesn't. He has
no real marketable qualifications and no job history. You follow the format
exactly in such a situation because entry-level positions are generally hired for body count. You do something dumb and make waves, you are less attractive as a hire.
"Wannabe slavedrone." What are you, twelve years old? Or are you just some rebel without a clue, firmly raging against whatever ill-defined machine you think is oppressing you today?