I had several Ravenstern lords marked as my friends, a few with relations in the mid-20s, before I struck out on my own. I thought that would be enough to get started, but I guess not. I'm trying to further build up relations with old friends by releasing them after defeat.
It looks like I'm just going to have some hard fighting ahead to de-moralize a couple factions until people start defecting. Of course, I doubt anyone will defect until I have some fiefs to give away.
Which is what the expensive infantry are for. I'm going to need all top-tier troops if I'm going to take on any of the castles around, which all have garrisons over 300. The auto-calculator doesn't account for quality of troops very well, but I should also be able to put up a hell of a fight if I actually participate in a defense, which is really important for me right now. I'll cheapen up when I've captured more lands.
I take lots of loot and prisoners, but the nearest city I can safely enter is too far away. I can only make a trip after I've just beaten off a major offensive, and only just barely make it back to deal with the next one. I'm subsisting on ransoming Sarleon for all it's worth right now.
But this hardship is bolstering my strength quite drastically. I have a very strong core group with me. Several hero adventurers and other good cavalry. I can take on armies about 50 units larger than me. I go ahead and take out their toughest units and then tell mine to charge while I distract as many as possible. The enemy just melts, and I only lose a few people. It helps that Ansen has a surgery skill of 11. He seems able to save about 90% of any wounded troops.
And it seems like I can persist more or less indefinitely due to my location, with the Jatu immediately to the north as a deterrent to Ravenstern and the Noldor occasionally patrolling nearby from the east. If Ravenstern would make peace, funds would also cease to be a problem.