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[Keevu]

Actually I chickened out because she said that....  she thought that I thought she was just leading me on? 

[The Architect]

...

Geez man. You have to be 15.

It's confusing, you're very afraid to get it wrong. I've been there and most-everyone else probably has too. Take some affirmative action and let it evolve slowly. Letting it take its time does not mean waiting endlessly; that makes things go wrong in more ways than I can describe. It means you make your move only when you are sure of what you want, and you don't push it if it doesn't feel right.

So, make your move. IN PERSON. Don't do it over the phone, or by any other means than person-to-person conversation. And follow up! You need to follow up quickly; once you've made your move then sitting back just builds all kinds of doubt for teenage girls.

Affirmative action. Be gentle in your relationships and don't rush things, but never, ever sit on your hands. You stay in communication without smothering the person. It's all about moderation.

[Jude]

Not that quickly all the time. Three day rule, anyone?

Man, this kid has a lot to learn.

Also, don't do it. She's your female friend. That will not turn into your girlfriend. This never works out. Trust the experience of the older and wiser.

[Footkerchief]

Also, don't do it. She's your female friend. That will not turn into your girlfriend. This never works out. Trust the experience of the older and wiser.

That may be a good guideline but "never" is a pretty strong word.  My best relationships have started that way.

[The Architect]

Also, don't do it. She's your female friend. That will not turn into your girlfriend. This never works out. Trust the experience of the older and wiser.

That may be a good guideline but "never" is a pretty strong word.  My best relationships have started that way.

You should always be good friends before you get romantic and/or physical. Most relationships designed after any of the numerous Hollywood models, like meeting and messing around physically within a day or even a week, don't work out.

[Jude]

You should always be good friends before you get romantic and/or physical. Most relationships designed after any of the numerous Hollywood models, like meeting and messing around physically within a day or even a week, don't work out.

Bad advice, made even worse by gratuitous false dichotomy.

The majority of relationships, successful or not, don't start as friendships, or at least not long term friendships.

[The Architect]

The majority of relationships ...

Are failures. No one suggested a long term friendship; I'm merely stating the fact that a strong friendship is the best basis for a romantic relationship. Feel free to disagree, but at least attempt civility.

[Jude]

The majority of relationships ...

Are failures. No one suggested a long term friendship; I'm merely stating the fact that a strong friendship is the best basis for a romantic relationship. Feel free to disagree, but at least attempt civility.

A strong "friendship" is the basis for a romantic relationship but the vast majority of the time that "friendship" is developed within the romantic relationship and doesn't exist beforehand

It's extremely unlikely for platonic friendships to turn into romance although I would think it gets more common as people approach their 30s and the womens' biological clocks start ticking

but it's just plain bad advice to tell the kid that it's likely for him to have a relationship with this girl after being friends for however long

Also the false dichotomy that you either are friends and then become lovers, or else you just have skanky one night stands, is ridiculous

[The Architect]

Also the false dichotomy that you either are friends and then become lovers, or else you just have skanky one night stands, is ridiculous

Hah, I think you're overanalysing that aspect of my comment. That aside, here in at college I see a lot of one-night stands if that's really what you want to talk about.
You ought to know enough about a person to really know you like them before you get involved romantically. That is all that I mean. "Hollywood-style relationships" would be my way of referencing the model used in most movies and other media where fast plot development moves quickly to a physical relationship (or many) which either magically works out or has no negative consequences (in the case of promiscuity).

If you really want to sit there and take every post I make as an invitation to nitpick and argue, I'm done here. You can keep that behavior to yourself and kindly not involve me.

[sonerohi]

What constitutes acceptable 'dates' for the 14-15 age range? I'm starting to get into the social scene after a withdrawal due to... unfavorable circumstances (the girl was a bitch okay?! A humongous bitch that should have been put down at birth!). I'm pretty sure I can handle the asking out part, and the rejection should it come, but I've no clue what kids these days do.

[Cthulhu]

The movies.  You can never go wrong with the movies.

[The Architect]

The movies.  You can never go wrong with the movies.

You probably do not need to be told this, but be sure to ask her what she wants to see before you pick something.

[Jude]

I have no clue what 14-15 year olds do (or are even allowed to do, for that matter...man it sucked before I was 21) but the movies seem like a terrible date and I've never done it. All you can really do is make out, so unless you're just a sex god that drips raw man everywhere you go...

[Vector]

I have no clue what 14-15 year olds do (or are even allowed to do, for that matter...man it sucked before I was 21) but the movies seem like a terrible date and I've never done it. All you can really do is make out, so unless you're just a sex god that drips raw man everywhere you go...

... Watch the movie?  Dunno, it seems fairly obvious to me.

(Watch movie, talk about movie, walk around outside after movie and enjoy non-destroyed retinas, go get ice cream nearby)

But then, I'm female, so maybe that doesn't count as "doing something."

[Jude]

I have no clue what 14-15 year olds do (or are even allowed to do, for that matter...man it sucked before I was 21) but the movies seem like a terrible date and I've never done it. All you can really do is make out, so unless you're just a sex god that drips raw man everywhere you go...

... Watch the movie?  Dunno, it seems fairly obvious to me.

(Watch movie, talk about movie, walk around outside after movie and enjoy non-destroyed retinas, go get ice cream nearby)

But then, I'm female, so maybe that doesn't count as "doing something."

On a first date you're trying to get to know somebody, watching a movie doesn't accomplish that.