Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[lem]

... is what I feel for my dwarves. My dwarves are incredible sissies.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Sweetnesstwinkles? God. Whatever.

It helps that they'll never have to use it, though. For some absurd reason, nobody has ever attempted to attack my fort. I'm on my fourth fort ever, the first that hasn't collapsed to an extreme tantrum spiral within the first two years, and it's doing well-- over 80 dwarves, everything running smoothly, etc etc. But no attacks. Is this normal?

Clearly my dwarves have gone decadent. WTF, Sweetnesstwinkles.

[Lightning4]

Never judge a book by its cover. Or in this case, name.

Imagine being the poor goblin on the receiving end of it. The true embarrassment is being disemboweled by a weapon called Sweetnesstwinkles.

[Karik]

"The Waxy Barbarian"

.....

Do you know how I know you're gay?

[lem]

"The Waxy Barbarian"

.....

Do you know how I know you're gay?

lulz indeed

I need to manly up my dwarves some. They're even sissier than the local Elves, it seems. About 50% of their engravings are various kinds of flowers, too. The ones that AREN'T flowers are these:

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

There are three of these. One of my better engravers is clearly a total lameass; he's terrified of flies and roaches and spends most of his time engraving dwarves running away from such things. My mayor is currently living in a timidly roaches-and-flies-themed room.

[Grimlocke]

Your dwarves are in need inspiration! And by inspiration, I mean goblin raids tantrums and burning elves.

Also, if that mountain goat leather artifact is a loin cloth, then its probabably the most disturbing thing on there.

[James.Denholm]

Quick! Make magma contraptions to kill any trader or liason who dares set foot in your fortress!

Because if there is a solution to de-sissy-fying your dwarves, you better damn well bet it's gotta be a dwarfy solution.

[Ubiq]

Sweetnesstwinkles. Didn't somebody have a dragon with a name like that once?

It helps that they'll never have to use it, though. For some absurd reason, nobody has ever attempted to attack my fort. I'm on my fourth fort ever, the first that hasn't collapsed to an extreme tantrum spiral within the first two years, and it's doing well-- over 80 dwarves, everything running smoothly, etc etc. But no attacks. Is this normal?

Does a goblin civ show up when you go to the civ screen? If not, you're probably in a location goblins don't have access to.

If they do, it's probably your wealth that's the problem though that seems odd seeing as how those two iron artifacts and that sapphire bracelet ought to drive up the total value by a pretty good margin. Anyway, cook a bunch of Dwarven Syrup Roasts to drive up your fort's wealth. That ought to do the trick.

Well, unless you have Invasions turned off in the init file so you can build in peace and forgot to turn them back on.

[lem]

Your dwarves are in need inspiration! And by inspiration, I mean goblin raids tantrums and burning elves.

Also, if that mountain goat leather artifact is a loin cloth, then its probabably the most disturbing thing on there.

naw, it's a quiver. But here's an interesting thing: The bracelet, the Waxy Barbarian, is rather mundane.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

But it seems to have been SO DISTURBING that my other dwarf drew a picture of it on the legendary goatskin quiver:

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

My dwarves need things to get a bit mixed up here. I want the elves' stuff, though. What's the best way to kill them while making it so I can still steal all their goods? a drainable drowning pit under the depot or something?

I checked the civs and they all have access to me. I guess it must be a wealth problem. I could try the syrup roasts...

[James.Denholm]

Lots and lots of hatches? An enclosed bridge over a drainable pit?

Magma?

[Ubiq]

There's always a corridor full of wooden spikes activated by repeated lever pulling.

Anyway, what's Sweetnesstwinkles' description read like?

[lem]

Sweetnesstwinkles itself is also pretty boring:

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

as swords go it's pretty narcissistic, I guess. It's got a picture of itself drawn on it.

I guess my dwarves are basically literary critics. They're lame and their artistic culture is wholly self-reflexive

[dogstile]

Sweetnesstwinkles itself is also pretty boring:

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

as swords go it's pretty narcissistic, I guess. It's got a picture of itself drawn on it.

I guess my dwarves are basically literary critics. They're lame and their artistic culture is wholly self-reflexive

Prickle berries and a sword on that sword?

Ever think that sword was intended for a herbalist, to be use for when your fort is attacked and slaughtered. Then a hero will rise! Urist McHerbalist! Wielder of Sweetnesstwinkles! Savior of dwarvenkind!

[Quantum Toast]

There are three of these. One of my better engravers is clearly a total lameass; he's terrified of flies and roaches and spends most of his time engraving dwarves running away from such things. My mayor is currently living in a timidly roaches-and-flies-themed room.

Perhaps they're trying to store all their fear in the walls where it won't get in the way.

[RandomNumberGenerator]

There are three of these. One of my better engravers is clearly a total lameass; he's terrified of flies and roaches and spends most of his time engraving dwarves running away from such things. My mayor is currently living in a timidly roaches-and-flies-themed room.

Perhaps they're trying to store all their fear in the walls where it won't get in the way.

Sigged.

[SkyRender]

Looks like that Electrum harp from one of my old forts, Whispertwinkles, has some competition now for "most embarrassing artifact name".