So, a while after breaking up with my ex, I decided to do away with my fairly large and fuzzy beard. It had developed out of a whim and become a sort of self-defense mechanism against my ex, and I've generally gotten more positive attention from the opposite sex when I'm not sporting the facebush.
However, I also have friends now... Female friends. Female friends who wouldn't let me remove it until they'd gotten a chance to dye it fancy colors.
Last weekend was this city's first-ever Gay Pride, parade and all. Are you seeing where this is going?
But, of course, if you're gonna get spiffed up for Pride, you might as well go all out... So, naturally, the topic of women's clothing came up. It's easy enough to convince me to do silly stuff if it sounds like it would result in entertainment value, so I said sure.
Given carte blanche, my female friends immediately decided that since I was a willing victim, it was only proper that I be subjected to some of the darker sides of feminine fashion... And that's when the corsets came out.
A somewhat nautical/steampunky underbust was found to fit, and after some brainstorming a theme was discovered and developed... With that, a full costume was eventually assembled to complement the colorful whiskers.
And thus, the legend of Gaybeard the Pirate was born.
Yeah. Y'all landlubbers can't handle my fabulousity.
...curiously, drinking on the town that night, I got the most attention I've ever gotten going out. To the point of being straight up asked out on a date by one chick and going home with another one I'd just met.
I've clearly been doing dating wrong this whole time... What women
really want is gay pirates.