Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[hillburra]

You should gain the gift of music by rhythmically rustling your leaves and swaying, this will entice more humans to come that you may feed upon them and gain enough xp to grow larger than their pathetic little town and their false god Metalhead.

[RAM]

Gain the ability to create tumbleweeds, which will roll across the world, until they collide with a large predator, at which point they will inject plant matter into the creature, which infests its brain and causes it to be fanatically loyal to you.

[Sensei]

Gain the ability to create tumbleweeds, which will roll across the world, until they collide with a large predator, at which point they will inject plant matter into the creature, which infests its brain and causes it to be fanatically loyal to you.

That's like six abilities right there man.

Anyway, you grow thorns. You can now slash mofos, albeit not very well. It appears your commotion has attracted the attention of bloodthirsty goblins! Which isn't surprising because there's blood, like, everywhere. A small raiding party of four has arrived. Do you protect your congregation?

[Cheddarius]

Our congregation is like, one dude, right?
Have kobold climb in and rustle threateningly, showing off impressive thorns. Telepathically tell goblins that you are a deity who must be obeyed.

Inventory?

[Sensei]

Four dudes and a kobold.

Inventory... well, four dudes, a kobold, a bucket, and one set of Adventuring Gear©.

[Cheddarius]

Man, I thought I ate the dudes.
> okay, do the thing, but have the guys act like I killed them. Have them at the ready to attack if it goes awry, defending me but letting me get within range for mofo-slashing support duty

EDIT: Also. The manifestation of a deity, not the deity itself.

[RAM]

Tell one of the goblins that it is worthy, and that you once it proves itself worthy you will grant it the power to become a great monarch to its people, with hundreds of human slaves to play with. It need only sacrifice the most stupid of its companions to you.

[Sensei]

It has a knife. It doesn't like bushes much.

Better do something.

[RAM]

Look innocent. Have the kobold run away up a nearby tree. Wait for goblins to go to tree to chase kobolds. Attack goblins while kobolds attack by jumping out of the tree. Learn to create nectar to make your chosen subjects stronger. Give adventuring gear to priest.

[Flaede]

tell all the goblins that line about proving themselves. One of them should buy it, right?

[Luke_Prowler]

Have your followers run for it, since I doubt they wouldn't be any help.

as an alternate to the "prove themselves" idea, tell them that their comrades plan to deceive them, and watch as they rip each other apart.

[silhouette]

Tell the other goblins that the strongest goblin the group is hording gold and not giving them a share.
Also tell your followers to attack the goblins whilst theyre buzy fighting.

[Cheeetar]

Throw peasants at the solution until it goes away.


Edit: And by solution I mean problem.

[Eztuzt]

Ingest the surround plantlife and gain a massive amount of exp. After that, grow downward with an impressive set of roots, constantly giving you nutrients (EXP). Then, use to roots to strangle the four goblins, and then devour them. Give your kobolds their superior iron equipment, and give the adventurer gear to the prophet, although much larger he'll look stronger and....more...stronger..

Fuck yeah, most epic mental image ever.

[hillburra]

Send the kobold to make cooing noises to distract while the 4 people dogpile on to it's back. Losses are highly acceptable and will be eaten for xp.