At least I died for the glory of face-to-face trolling (Truly the most honorable of trolling methods). It's how I want to go in real life, saying "lol u mad?" as the trigger pulls, and with my final breath whispering "yeah, u mad"
Anyway, I said I'd write one, and the longer I spend on this the longer it'll be before I have to write that report. Let's do this. I've got the basic premise and the first paragraph already planned out, I'll wing it from there, but for some reason it's going all Max Payne on me, and there's nothing I can do. Bear with me on that.
The True Cost of Sexy Love
A Noir Romance by Cthulhu
The night was weeping. A sharp clap of thunder resounded overhead, a choking sob punctuating the cold air's lament. She was dead, and the whole world seemed to have come to a standstill, the buildings themselves appearing to mourn. Duke, though. Duke was done mourning. It was time for action. They would all pay.
Duke stood on one knee atop the NewMarsCo Center, one more cold tombstone in the vast cemetery that was Bay12 City. He reached down and felt the dark stone. It was slick, like the pavement where she fell, but cold like, well, like wet stone. It can't all be noir for you, sorry. The ones responsible were just below him, secure in the belief that he could never threaten them. They would never know how wrong they were, Duke would make sure of that.
It all began the week before, in a meadow near Creative Projects. Duke and Vester were frolicking, as young lovers in meadows are wont to do. His golden helm was gleaming, her green vest was, uh... gleaming...
Hand in hand, they skipped through the fields, unaware of the steely whistling of razor-sharp wheels on hot asphalt.
Gaily they frolicked, heedless of the iron dragon and its cyclopean rider.
Finally, they reached a road, and I could stop with the duality. In the center of the road was a puppy, sad and looking for a home. Vester was sympathetic to its plight, and desired to adopt it.
"I'm sympathetic to its plight, Duke. Let's adopt it" she said. Duke could never deny that silly vest, or its wearer, so of course he acquiesced. Vester ran out into the street to collect the puppy, and that's when it happened.
Suddenly, a red and green streak careened down the road, Cthulhu shouting as he went: "Helptherollercoaster'soutofcontrol!" In a flash, he was gone. For Duke, however, the scene transpired in agonizing slow motion. The roller coaster inching out into view, Vester looking up at the sound, Cthulhu flailing and screaming in the front car. The coaster colliding with Vester. A torn and bloody vest flying through the air (She had a shirt on under it, don't get any ideas, jeez), a shout of "Nnnnnnnnnnoooooooooooooooo" escaping from Duke's lips and mingling with Cthulhu's "Hhhhhheeeeeeellllllpppppttttttthhhhhheeeeerrrrrrrroooooooolllllleeeeerrrrrrcccccooooo..."
In the space of mere moments, it was over. The Cthoaster was gone. The puppy was nowhere to be found. Vester was dead, blood staining the hot pavement. A cloud passed over the sun, as the sky's lip began to tremble.
TO BE CONTINUED, BUT FIRST I HAVE TO WRITE A REPORT AND GRIND AN MMO AND PLAY MIRROR'S EDGE AND THEN GO TO COLLEGE AND DO HOMEWORK AND STUFF DON'T WORRY I WILL CONTINUE IT EVENTUALLY THOUGH
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Topic: Intentionally crappy forum romance fiction (Read 27183 times)