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Author Topic: Carp invade lake michigan! Dwarves flee the region!  (Read 2162 times)

sonerohi

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Re: Carp invade lake michigan! Dwarves flee the region!
« Reply #15 on: January 19, 2010, 10:36:15 pm »

Life jackets + my mad life guarding skills = totally safe.
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Muz

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Re: Carp invade lake michigan! Dwarves flee the region!
« Reply #16 on: January 20, 2010, 02:10:54 am »

Carps will rip apart your life jacket. Hell, they can kill a fully armored dwarf. I remember seeing caravan marksdwarves lying in a stream of blood at the river. Marksdwarves I tell you!
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Disclaimer: Any sarcasm in my posts will not be mentioned as that would ruin the purpose. It is assumed that the reader is intelligent enough to tell the difference between what is sarcasm and what is not.

Itnetlolor

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Re: Carp invade lake michigan! Dwarves flee the region!
« Reply #17 on: January 20, 2010, 02:30:02 am »

Wasn't the story of Jonah about an epic struggle against an epic carp?

« Last Edit: January 20, 2010, 02:32:42 am by Itnetlolor »
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Jackrabbit

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Re: Carp invade lake michigan! Dwarves flee the region!
« Reply #18 on: January 20, 2010, 02:32:30 am »

Eh. It eats him and then hurls him out a while later. It's more a story of how Jonah was a judgmental, unforgiving prick.
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Itnetlolor

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Re: Carp invade lake michigan! Dwarves flee the region!
« Reply #19 on: January 20, 2010, 02:35:31 am »

Could have been more epic if it were a dwarf wrestling the gills off a carp, after being swallowed, and returning to the village he was given the order to kill it from with the skeleton of the carp in tow.
« Last Edit: January 20, 2010, 02:37:41 am by Itnetlolor »
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Muz

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Re: Carp invade lake michigan! Dwarves flee the region!
« Reply #20 on: January 20, 2010, 03:35:53 am »

Could have been more epic if it were a dwarf wrestling the gills off a carp, after being swallowed, and returning to the village he was given the order to kill it from with the skeleton of the carp in tow.

I think that was one of the Power Goals in DF :P
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Vester

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Re: Carp invade lake michigan! Dwarves flee the region!
« Reply #21 on: January 20, 2010, 07:44:36 am »

Eh. It eats him and then hurls him out a while later. It's more a story of how Jonah was a judgmental, unforgiving prick.

The thing is, he was nowhere near as judgmental and unforgiving as a carp.
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"Land of song," said the warrior bard, "though all the world betray thee - one sword at least thy rights shall guard; one faithful harp shall praise thee."

Cthulhu

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Re: Carp invade lake michigan! Dwarves flee the region!
« Reply #22 on: January 20, 2010, 10:11:40 am »

I thought it was because he was afraid to go proselytize to the Ninevites?

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DreamThorn

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Re: Carp invade lake michigan! Dwarves flee the region!
« Reply #23 on: January 20, 2010, 10:17:22 am »

More like he thought that the Ninevehites were too sinful to deserve a warning of God's impending wrath, so God made a fish swallow him and take him to Nineveh, because God would prefer them to change their ways, rather than have to kill them all.  Jonah was afraid of God, because he was refusing to follow God's orders.
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DJ

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Re: Carp invade lake michigan! Dwarves flee the region!
« Reply #24 on: January 20, 2010, 10:21:54 am »

Carp fishing is lots of fun.  Buy a bag of wheaties, find an area they frequent, dip the wheaties in the water, ball them up onto the hook (That's gross, though, because they get all soggy) and then do battle with some very large and powerful fish.
I hear you people don't eat them, though. I don't understand why, because carp is quite tasty. Still, you should at least save them for your cats or something, because catch and release is a bad thing when it comes to these invasive carps.
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Cthulhu

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Re: Carp invade lake michigan! Dwarves flee the region!
« Reply #25 on: January 20, 2010, 10:25:44 am »

I don't have a cat.

I certainly don't have cats.

This reminds me of the time I went to Kentucky to see some family.  There was a catfish hanging from a tree.

Next year I went back.  There was a skeletal catfish hanging from the tree.

Kentucky is a scary place.

But yeah, we don't eat them, we just throw them back.  We should probably do something about them.  Maybe just leave them on the shore, I'm sure some dogs will get them, that might be gross for other people coming through.  There was a big cliff in the place we used to fish for them, my dad wouldn't let me get close to it because I was little.  We could toss them off that, they'd still land in the water but it was about 50 feet up.
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Nilocy

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Re: Carp invade lake michigan! Dwarves flee the region!
« Reply #26 on: January 20, 2010, 11:27:18 am »

You know whats really good at killing stuff, a nuke.
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Os Q

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Re: Carp invade lake michigan! Dwarves flee the region!
« Reply #27 on: January 20, 2010, 02:06:07 pm »

I've heard they aren't eaten because they're really incredibly bony.

Maybe we should set up a bone-carving industry and sell the crafts to Elves tourists?
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..at least put some spikes in your clubs for goodness sake!

JoshuaFH

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Re: Carp invade lake michigan! Dwarves flee the region!
« Reply #28 on: January 20, 2010, 02:07:45 pm »

Pfft, I'm sure we could overfish them if we tried. There's gotta be SOME use for them.
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DJ

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Re: Carp invade lake michigan! Dwarves flee the region!
« Reply #29 on: January 20, 2010, 02:51:10 pm »

If they're anything like European carp they're delicious and their bones are big enough to be easily separated from the meat.

But really, this is a golden business opportunity for cat food producers, if Americans are so determined not to eat carp. They should put up some trading stations around the lake and pay a buck or two per pound of carp. The hobos fishermen will get a relatively easy way to make money, the cat food makers will get dirt cheap raw materials, the kitties will get delicious fish and the ecosystem will get a fighting chance. Who knows, maybe it will even exterminate the carp.
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Urist, President has immigrated to your fortress!
Urist, President mandates the Dwarven Bill of Rights.

Cue magma.
Ah, the Magma Carta...
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