Too bad, I didn't finish it (The rest is being read by the girly); also just because you won't read it if I spoiler it:
"It came to me like many of my best ideas, in a dream. I was dreaming late at night as a child; It was then that I decided I wanted to be a ninja.
At school, no one humored me. The other boys wanted to shoot at each other with imaginary guns. The girls wanted to blink innocently at me while dressing me up in skirts. The teachers were just plain terrified of me.
Guns were not a true measure of skill, I declared. A true measure of awesome is being able to sneak up on somebody and stab them in the face without them realizing they've been stabbed in the face. The boys listened to me awhile and then pointed their index fingers at me. "Bang. You're a dead ninja!"
I reminded them that guns were "easy mode for 'tards".
So they started punching me.
The next day the girls sauntered up to the boys, blinking innocently. The boys were mesmerized by the girls' presence on their side of the playground. The two groups lined up, facing one another; the girls inched closer and closer. Demurely the girl's eyes traveled down to the boys' pants. The boys were frozen, confused. Still smiling immaculately, the girls deftly reached into the boys' pants and gave them such wedgies that the cotton underpants were stretching up to their chins.
Apparently ninjas were to blame for the great Mary E. Bragg Atomic Wedgie Massacre of '93. None of them were ever found or punished. None of the boys wanted to admit to losing to girls, so none of them got in trouble either.
I always had a great sense of justice and honor. To my first grade self, honor meant I won because I was always right. Justice told me that I was right, because I always won. They still believe this in many parts of the world."