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[Errol]

Because zchris is that nagging about it, there will be a revival. Running at backburner. Wed-Son schedule. Relocated to attract a broader crowd.

Read the events that happened up to this point (which are not many), from here. (Begins at bottom of the post).

[Eagle]

>post so thread shows up in new replies

[zchris13]

Most excellent. I am willing to wait.

[Errol]

Sorry. I didn't mean to forget the update!

Today it will be done!

[Errol]

Did a batch of pages, but I'm running out of steam. I'll see what happens :X

[Errol]

>Cancel hiatus: Tantrum

==>

>Lecture yourself.

You have no faults. OBVIOUSLY.

Therefore, it would be really stupid to lecture yourself.

Go get a snack.

Come to think about it, you could really use a HEALTY APPLE. But you don't want to fly again.



Thankfully, you have your own methods to deal with this sort of problem.



That was an ace shot, just as expected from yourself. Not like the time three trees burned to ashes which you are by the way totally not responsible for.



You got the APPLE. <Insert Zelda 'Item Gained' music here>



It is CAPTCHALOGUED in your SYLLADEX.

Come to think about it, you really detest that sort of new-fangled technic thingies or whatever they call it these days. Frankly, the whole notion of sylladexes strikes you as ridiculous. The ridiculous overcomplicatedness of the FETCH MODI disgusts you, so you use the ARRAY MODUS which strikes you as the most sane of them all. The only drawback is that it takes a little time to actually retrieve the item.

Stupid lousy bureaucrats who forced this upon you.

>Go yell at Charon.(or whatever the ferryman's name is)

That creates a conudrum - the only boat available is the one of the ferryman, and it is written that only Link can defeat Ganon... wait a second, wrong scroll... it is written that you can cross the river of the dead on boat only. No flying across or anything.

Not to mention the SPACE DISTORTIONS that always appear there thanks to the ferryman fulfilling some obscure rule or the other, or, sometimes, just messing around.



You have to use the help of a friend here. No wait, friend may be the wrong word. Let's say... acquaintance. You have a deal. You don't lecture her, and she helps you out sometimes.

So you decide to pester her. Another of these new things, but it is useful. Sometimes. When it doesn't wake you up in the middle of the night.

Spoiler: PESTERLOG (click to show/hide)

You began pestering phantasmalSunshower at 16:13.
defaultName: Hello.
phantasmalSunshower isn't online, redirecting...
You are now connected with heavenlyTrickster.
heavenlyTrickster: Hello. This is an automated message. You are redirected here because phantasmalSunshower is currently asleep. Do any correspondence you wanted to do with her with me.
defaultName: Your lady really should sleep less. Sloth is a sin.
heavenlyTrickster: Oh god, it's the judge again.
heavenlyTrickster: What business do you have with my lady?
defaultName: I need her help to cross the Sanzu no Kawa.
heavenlyTrickster: To punish your own slacker, I presume?
defaultName: Precisely.
defaultName: So go and wake her up right now.
heavenlyTrickster: I'm afraid I can't do that, Nameless.
heavenlyTrickster: That is, unless you bring along some fried tofu.
heavenlyTrickster: Deal?
defaultName: Deal, you sleek cutthroat.
heavenlyTrickster: Good. Now get me the tofu, pronto, and send me a picture of it as proof. Then I'll wake the lady up.
heavenlyTrickster: Brb, playing with cat.
heavenlyTrickster has changed Status to ABSENT

You probably will have to RAID the KITCHEN.

[Errol]

Bump. I didn't toil away for obscurity...

[RAM]

Sentence APPLE to an eternity(well, a couple of days maybe) as FRIED TOFU!

[Eagle]

>DELEGATE

[Errol]

NEED MORE ACTIONS HERE

[Armok]

> run to the kitchen in a cool animation that illustrates the scenery.

[PenguinOverlord]

>sentence SELF to ADVENTURE to find the Ferryman.

[RAM]

Study your instruction booklet.

Establish religion to yourself.

Fly high into the air and look at the map.

Trip over a treasure chest and grumble for 2 minutes before noticing what you tripped on.

Learn ventriloquism.

Learn Voodoo doll stabbing.

Combine the two so that any potential audience suffers all the ridicule and fruit throwing they direct at the puppet.

Practice cutting things in half.

Redirect the river into an orphanage.

Ask Cerberus to dinner.

Melt the world through sheer force of frustration.

Travel 97 metres from your house at an angle of exactly 13 degrees from true north. Rotate yourself 444 degrees to the right. Walk in a circle with a radius of exactly 4 metres exactly 444.444 times then tap your heels together and say "There's no place like the secret cow level".

Play tennis with the carp.

Eat the ferryman and absorb their power.

Head into the hills and prospect for gold.

Renovate your house.

Build and automatic dialler and continuously telephone telemarketers with generic questions about products that could apply to just about anything they are trying to sell.

Complain to the creator of the universe about the poor quality of roads.

Build an olympic venue and hold your own games, with ... and profit.

Build a death ray.

And an undead abomination.

And an army of metallic men.

Try to conquer the world.

Get revenge against all the people who called you mad.

Jump through the mirror into a new world where everything is unnervingly similar, but different.

Discuss philosophy with all the great dead philosophers.

Go back in time and become your own mother.

Realise that you are eternal, but do the above anyway.

Edit your file and max out your stats.

Let the fools destroy themselves.

Read the local newspaper.

Become an adventuring archaeologist.

Mozy on into the next town.

Walk into the hospital and reveal that you are actually doctor McBrilliant's long-lost sister who was thought to have died at sea, providing him with the drive to become the greatest doctor on the set, but was actually struck with amnesia and raised by monkeys on a remote pacific island.

Mathematically prove that the ferryman is actually competent and hardworking, and will get you across in no time with no hassling.

Break the fourth wall and use the pieces to build a raft.

Enter a beauty pageant with the intention of proving how biased and ignorant they are, only to win and realise that you were beautiful all along, and conveniently forget the whole point of the exercise...

Go to Hel and create flying pigs, glaciers, and homing cattle.

Single-handedly win World-War IV.

Go to the TofuShak and buy some fried Tofu.

[zchris13]

Study your instruction booklet.

Establish religion to yourself.

Fly high into the air and look at the map.

Trip over a treasure chest and grumble for 2 minutes before noticing what you tripped on.

Learn ventriloquism.

Learn Voodoo doll stabbing.

Combine the two so that any potential audience suffers all the ridicule and fruit throwing they direct at the puppet.

Practice cutting things in half.

Redirect the river into an orphanage.

Ask Cerberus to dinner.

Melt the world through sheer force of frustration.

Travel 97 metres from your house at an angle of exactly 13 degrees from true north. Rotate yourself 444 degrees to the right. Walk in a circle with a radius of exactly 4 metres exactly 444.444 times then tap your heels together and say "There's no place like the secret cow level".

Play tennis with the carp.

Eat the ferryman and absorb their power.

Head into the hills and prospect for gold.

Renovate your house.

Build and automatic dialler and continuously telephone telemarketers with generic questions about products that could apply to just about anything they are trying to sell.

Complain to the creator of the universe about the poor quality of roads.

Build an olympic venue and hold your own games, with ... and profit.

Build a death ray.

And an undead abomination.

And an army of metallic men.

Try to conquer the world.

Get revenge against all the people who called you mad.

Jump through the mirror into a new world where everything is unnervingly similar, but different.

Discuss philosophy with all the great dead philosophers.

Go back in time and become your own mother.

Realise that you are eternal, but do the above anyway.

Edit your file and max out your stats.

Let the fools destroy themselves.

Read the local newspaper.

Become an adventuring archaeologist.

Mozy on into the next town.

Walk into the hospital and reveal that you are actually doctor McBrilliant's long-lost sister who was thought to have died at sea, providing him with the drive to become the greatest doctor on the set, but was actually struck with amnesia and raised by monkeys on a remote pacific island.

Mathematically prove that the ferryman is actually competent and hardworking, and will get you across in no time with no hassling.

Break the fourth wall and use the pieces to build a raft.

Enter a beauty pageant with the intention of proving how biased and ignorant they are, only to win and realise that you were beautiful all along, and conveniently forget the whole point of the exercise...

Go to Hel and create flying pigs, glaciers, and homing cattle.

Single-handedly win World-War IV.

Go to the TofuShak and buy some fried Tofu.

This.

[dragnar]

>pester other chums/acquaintances.