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Author Topic: Piecewise's Heavily illustrated bad movie reviews: Karate Cops Review (finally)  (Read 35154 times)

piecewise

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Re: Piecewise's Heavily illustrated bad movie reviews ZOMBIE HONEYMOON IS UP!
« Reply #30 on: January 19, 2010, 11:20:22 pm »

Agreed, this is right in with the style of the Spoony Experiment, and I love it.

Can you review Santa's Slay? :3

Santa's slay wasn't half bad actually, it was silly as hell but it wasn't trying to be serious. I may review it in the future, but I have SOOOO many terrible movies that it's rather far down the list. I couldn't resist doing some of the asian ones either, like executive Koala.

As per seeing more of these don't worry, I'll be posting a new one every monday evening/ tuesday morning. I'm open for requests too, be it movie, book, video game, music or message scrawled on an apartment door in feces.

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Re: Piecewise's Heavily illustrated bad movie reviews ZOMBIE HONEYMOON IS UP!
« Reply #31 on: January 19, 2010, 11:52:23 pm »

You do realize that you'll eventually be force to review Twilight, right?
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piecewise

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Re: Piecewise's Heavily illustrated bad movie reviews ZOMBIE HONEYMOON IS UP!
« Reply #32 on: January 20, 2010, 12:14:04 am »

You do realize that you'll eventually be force to review Twilight, right?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

I will relish the opportunity to compare that sack of glittery horseshit to what vampires should be. Expect many many many Hellsing references

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Re: Piecewise's Heavily illustrated bad movie reviews ZOMBIE HONEYMOON IS UP!
« Reply #33 on: January 20, 2010, 12:21:39 am »

Hellsing is fucking awesome.
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piecewise

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Re: Piecewise's Heavily illustrated bad movie reviews ZOMBIE HONEYMOON IS UP!
« Reply #34 on: January 20, 2010, 12:35:52 am »

Hellsing is fucking awesome.
Yes, yes it is. It's the one bastion of awesome vampirism in this bleak void of vapid tween masturbatory aids. It's the first time in a long time that I've seen murder and symbolic rape so beautifully intertwined.

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Re: Piecewise's Heavily illustrated bad movie reviews NEW REVIEW IS UP!
« Reply #35 on: January 20, 2010, 08:57:42 am »

“LOOK! I’m just trying to kill as few people as I can before I get on the plane tomorrow!”

Sigged so hard.
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Re: Piecewise's Heavily illustrated bad movie reviews ZOMBIE HONEYMOON IS UP!
« Reply #38 on: January 20, 2010, 12:27:19 pm »

Read the Space Mutiny review and now I want to watch it.

Just wanted to chime in and say ... very funny.

I, for one, will keep reading these if you keep posting them ...
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piecewise

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Re: Piecewise's Heavily illustrated bad movie reviews ZOMBIE HONEYMOON IS UP!
« Reply #39 on: January 20, 2010, 12:50:43 pm »

what vampires should be.

Japanimation

Ho hum...

Have you ever seen hellsing? It's anime but it sure doesn't act like your normal anime. There are legions of superpowered nazis fighting the vatican, symbolic rape by being impaled with a rifle, and more ultra violence then The clockwork orange could shake stick at.  Believe me, I understand your trepidation, what with some of the anime out there being pretty shitty, but hellsing is definately not that. 

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Re: Piecewise's Heavily illustrated bad movie reviews ZOMBIE HONEYMOON IS UP!
« Reply #40 on: January 20, 2010, 01:20:10 pm »

Still sounds like pretty normal anime stuff, and I'm not sure how symbolic rape is supposed to make me want to watch it?  Is the symbolism or the rape the defining part that makes it good?
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DJ

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Re: Piecewise's Heavily illustrated bad movie reviews ZOMBIE HONEYMOON IS UP!
« Reply #41 on: January 20, 2010, 01:23:36 pm »

Does it have lazy animators like all other anime?
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piecewise

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Re: Piecewise's Heavily illustrated bad movie reviews ZOMBIE HONEYMOON IS UP!
« Reply #42 on: January 20, 2010, 01:58:16 pm »

Still sounds like pretty normal anime stuff, and I'm not sure how symbolic rape is supposed to make me want to watch it?  Is the symbolism or the rape the defining part that makes it good?

Neither really. Just an example of how it's different. It portrays vampires as vampires, demonic affronts to the natural order which live only to drain the very lifeblood from the living in order to sustain their own immortality. No sparkly lovey dovey bullshit. The main character is basically only acting good because it lets him murder and eat as many people as he wants. He only sticks around because the act to killing others of his kind is something he finds enjoyable. Even if it has many of the tropes of anime, both good and bad, this depiction of vampires as inhuman monsters is alone worth making it a shining beacon in this sea of piss and girl spunk.

Does it have lazy animators like all other anime?
Depends on which version you're watching. I mostly only read the manga because it tends to be more to the point and often simply better. There are two version of the anime, the original and the new OVA. The original is pretty standard but the OVA is much better, simply because it doesn't have to waste time or fill episodes. Find it in sub though, since it continues the tradition of having terrible dubbing.

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Re: Piecewise's Heavily illustrated bad movie reviews ZOMBIE HONEYMOON IS UP!
« Reply #43 on: January 20, 2010, 02:15:06 pm »

Oh, I thought you kept mentioning the symbolic rape because the original Dracula's act of biting people was symbolic for rape and thus was staying true to the source material... but it turns out you kept mentioning it for an entirely different reason.

My bad.
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piecewise

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Re: Piecewise's Heavily illustrated bad movie reviews ZOMBIE HONEYMOON IS UP!
« Reply #44 on: January 20, 2010, 02:18:23 pm »

Oh, I thought you kept mentioning the symbolic rape because the original Dracula's act of biting people was symbolic for rape and thus was staying true to the source material... but it turns out you kept mentioning it for an entirely different reason.

My bad.
That too, but it's not really a drawing point. Plus it's not true to the source material at all, so that would be dishonest. It does maintain the general idea of the Dracula character though, as a suave and charming monster. It doesn't have anything resembling the whole Mina love story though.
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