It's not an issue of trouble so much as a request for somebody else's playstyle.
A better version of the question (One that doesn't get asked at 11 at night) is probably "How do you guys start a game? What happens in the first ~15-45 minutes for you?" I think my issue was going exploring too early (And then trying to rescue life pods without realizing that enemies like to camp JPs). I kept sending a ship through JPs, time after time, exploring bit by bit, examining every jump point, and it turned out that, in a system I had previously thought inactive, there were hostiles. Between trips through that system, they migrated a system over (I had, apparently, 3 JPs out of Sol, and 2-3 jump chains there, one of which connected to Barnard's Star, which also connected to Sol) from Barnard's star, where I had two contacts with aliens, to some system with L-something for a name. They were camped on the JP after I initially explored it.
I literally can't build jump gates yet. I don't have the ships for it. Also, I'm going to start a new game and try not to botch it so badly this time. Especially with the tech stuff.
Start with no NPRs, low percentage of discovering one and 0 % of NPRs discovering other NPRs. Then I am used to use the Conventional start because there the initial options are very limited so it is easier to grasp the current situtation. You basically set commanders to auto, set one scientist to work on Transnewtionian tech and slowly start converting basic Industry to specialized one. Somewhere during that build academy to raise chances of obtaining decent scientist and assign an administrator to Earth. Make diplomacy and xeneology team so they can start training.
Remember scientists can raise their stats even when not researching but if they are working it gets much faster so try to keep two from each research branch working all the time, even with just 1 lab. Two to have one spare scientist for the chance the best one perishes. At the start, concentrate on Propulsion, Production and Logistics branches.
During the process, get few geosurvey ships with speed of ~40 km/s and send them to Luna, Mars and after that other nearby places. Whenever you find materials, send a team there to check if they can find more. If Luna or Mars has minerals, start moving infrastructure and mines there, if neither of them does pick Luna as it is closer. Remember to deliver small amount of civilians to one new colony so that civilian shipping lines can start transporting cargo and civilians for you. Start churning automines and delivering them to decent but not-CMC-eligible places.
Once you get first TN engines you either push hard for the 2nd one or rebuild all ships - the change from nonTN to TN is immense. Get gravsurvey tech and then gravsurvey ships but don't travel through any JP until you have at least few military ships. Don't overexplore, try checking each system with some cheap craft before sending in all those geo- and gravsurveys. I am used to send the JP survey fighter to each planet in the inner part of system or do a big triangle sweep throughout the system if there are no planets.
Remember JGs can't be removed and everyone can use them so think twice before you build them, especially the one facing to Sol. Note though there need to be both-way JG before shipping lines will go to the other system. Also, there may be random JG placed on various JPs from start - it doesn't have to mean someone is currently actively building them. If you meet NPR and they don't seem to be too aggresive, try assigning them your diplomacy team and see if you can maybe be friends, for once.
FYI, in my last (2nd) campaing, Paths of Trisabria, starting 2000, it took me ~40 mins to TN (2001-10), then 2 hours to geosurvey (2005-11) and further 3 hours to gravsurvey ships (2015-09). Brutto but without any big brakes, IIRC. And I can lost hours tweaking ship designs.