Now here is a truly pathetic group of Dwarves. Most of their sworn enemies are named wild animals. They spent about 20 years fighting the Elves of The Buck of Comets, and ultimately quit their efforts in 123, when their previous queen Kobuk Praisedpaper got killed by the Elf Idala Vinenapolefe (Idala Stormclans).
But the worst part? Their new king is an Elf. And we're not talking an awesome Dwarf-Elf like Cacame Awemedinade. No, this guy is Nithe Alinomoyo (Nithe Dawnmyth), whose only redeeming feature is that his name is kinda nifty. Born in 111, Nithe ran away from home at the tender age of 6, and ended up settling down near the Dwarves of The Tired Abbey. His one claim to fame is that he smashed the third toe on the left foot of the elf Yemeni Ayepamawada (Yemeni Gleefulbeans) when he was 12. Not long after, he went a-wandering (no doubt exiled for his toe-smashing antics), and the Dwarves made him their king a year later in 124. And what a surprise, that was the point at which the Elves and Dwarves stopped fighting. He has no kills whatsoever. The Elf whose toe he crushed ended up being killed by the Dwarf awesomely named Ustuth Paddlespattered, and remains Mr. Paddlespattered's lone kill.
As if their glorious leader wasn't pathetic enough, he has a wife too: Ile Omulanelo (or Ile Sprinklepasses). 2 years younger than the glorious (ha!) king, whom she married when she was at the tender age of 13, Ile had three different run-ins with Stusto Calledstars the Action of Irons (a local cyclops). All three times (in 129, 168, and 172), both the cyclops and Ile escaped unscathed. Mrs. Sprinklepasses should be thankful: this particular cyclops has killed 44 others, most of them Elves. Eventually Ile decided to just go scouting in 177, and hasn't been heard from since.
So yeah. Worst. Dwarves. Ever.
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Topic: The Tired Abbey - A Dwarven Civilization in Shame (Read 1083 times)