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[Magick]

Ingishnosig was a fine fort. It was most known for it's large war dog squad, which had over forty dogs in it. One day, Momuz Rigothsastres, commander of the military forces guarding the entrance, sighted a disturbance. Coming over the ridge, wearing steel plate armor and using crucible steel weapons, was a horde of orcs. "Man the defenses!" he yelled, as his single squad of champions and dogs began to fight back. Fortunately, someone pulled the lever, which sealed off the fort from the outside world. The battle raged on, and the orcs were outnumbered two to one by the dogs. However, nobody besides Momuz had armor, and it was bone armor at that. The first casualties were the extremely loyal and powerful war dogs.Then, the extremely powerful hammer lord known only as Uzbanik, appeared. He strode up to Momuz and bashed his head in with his steel hammer.



The remaining military dwarves were slaughtered by the horde.

Casualties:
Orcs: 3-4    Dwarves:8 champions, 40 war dogs.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
tl:dr, the dig deeper orcs are a bitch.
And i didn't even get any orcinite.

[Untelligent]

A few years into my fort, I was ambushed by goblins unprepared. They managed to kill quite a few civilians and recruits before the caravan guard arrived on the scene and started kicking ass.

The resulting tantrum spiral knocked me down from about 140 dwarves to less than 30. One among the casualties was Vabok Silverycrafted, who brained a dragon with his pick in the first winter. He starved in prison.

[(name here)]

The Chronoseige incident.

Long time ago, there was a bug in the way units somtimes arrived from off-map. Basically, what happened is that a squad of goblins appeared in the middle of my fort, armed with crossbows. Fortunately, only six dwarves died before an elite crossbowman and his horde of dogs appeared to stall the attackers. The champions cleaned up, then dealt with the other squads.

[ChairmanPoo]

The Chronoseige incident.

Long time ago, there was a bug in the way units somtimes arrived from off-map. Basically, what happened is that a squad of goblins appeared in the middle of my fort, armed with crossbows. Fortunately, only six dwarves died before an elite crossbowman and his horde of dogs appeared to stall the attackers. The champions cleaned up, then dealt with the other squads.

"Warning: Chronosphere activated"

[wagawaga]

If it can't be a bug, it should be a feature. Goblins invading you teleporting themselves into your fortress, yeah. Hoping they teleport into you alligator pit.

[Retro]

My worst siege was due to a map glitch of sorts.

Enter Brutal. He's one of my military of seven, with a level of around 30 in each weapon skill (give or take a few) and more in armour use, wrestling, and shield use. The rest of the military was similar but in the 20s. Basically he'd just spent his entire life sparring and training. And he wielded an artifact mace. He was definitely my favourite of the seven champions.

As you can imagine, sieges were easy. Send one champ to each spawn site, hey-presto. But one spawn area seemed to contain two lowly goblin wrestlers and nothing else. I sent Brutal in to wipe them up, and started examining the other battle scenes. A little while later, I check up on Brutal, and he's heavily wounded and lying on the ground, his mace having been dropped. And was in the center of two crossbow squads.

Apparently the one-square access point in the mountains caused the goblins of the siege to spawn one at a time. It wouldn't have remotely been a problem if it wasn't for 1. the crossbow goblins appearing and 2. Brutal's location - below them and with very limited access climbing up the steep edge of the mountain. Damned ranged squads.

[Magick]

Then, the extremely powerful hammer lord known only as Uzbanik, appeared. He strode up to Momuz and bashed his head in with his steel hammer.

Remember him? Well, he just showed up with a large siege, that included the local leader of the orcs, and he has a MASTERWORK CRUCIBLE STEEL hammer now. Argh!

[Warhawk]

Anybody who reads "XKCD" is going to love this one...


So, I play a modded DF (Dig Deeper, and a few other mods that add Civs and Creatures) to increase the "Fun" value.

Increased the fun has been...

So I've got this fairly nice fort going, I finally get to about 30 dwarves, survived a few Orc seiges (Read: cut off from world, cowering indoors) and I've got a pretty nice lumberjacking system that allows my dwarves to be safe from the outside world through a system of doors and bridges, while chopping down trees on the surface.

Now I don't believe in cutting myself off from the world UNLESS I'm being seiged by impossible odds, aka Orcs. An Orc raiding party is sighted, everyone is marshalled indoors, and we get ready to survive the winter in the fort.

I notice one of my animals come running into the meeting hall, which wouldn't be considered odd, except for the fact that I locked them all in a cage...
Then I get the message... An animal has been struck down, then another, then another....

I read the report screen "a" and lo and behold someone was letting out all my animals and killing them. I send a recruit to check on the animal pen and he's ripped apart by no less than 6 raptors! SIX! Well this is bad... So I send in my entire military (Consisting of about 8 "trained" dwarves) and then the real weight of the situation hits me...

There are a few more than 6 Raptors that snuck into my fort.... There are more than 10... 20...
30...
40.
Fourty raptors snuck into my fortress without my knowledge right before I closed my fortress off from the seiging Orcs, and the Raptors ripped my fortress apart from the inside... like a spikey haired yellow skinned boy eating a razor sharp Krusty-O. Only with more beards.

All subsequent fortresses have included raptor emergency kits... And a comprehensive raptor self-defense training regimen.

[A Dwarven Smokeologist]

Playing with the MegaMix mod I ran into some humans I was ill prepared for...

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

37 humans showed up and demolished the 20 crossbow men / wrestlers I had trained then proceeded to work their way through the fortress killing every one left. In the end they lost something like 5 units compared to all 135+ dwarves.

Worst thing was the fortress wasn't even finished and my save became corrupted some how so when I tried to reclaim it I kept getting a Nemesis Unit Failed to Load error. I really liked that place, couldn't even play adventure mode on that map any more

[Beanchubbs]

In the 2nd year of the village of Cyclonerampart, in the mid-summer of the year 10, an orc siege arrived 12 seconds after a human caravan and diplomat. I was able to get all the humans except the wagons in before the first squad reaches my gates. My marksdwarf started picking some off while my axelord and 2 swordsdwarves move in to kill the rest. I keep all dwarfs on gaurd until the wagons get in and then bring everyone inside and raise the bridge. The other squad reaches my gates then, and gets picked off by my marksdwarf. Thinking that was all the squads, I open the gates, then a sqaud of axe orcs led by an elite boworc walk up and  slaughter the caravan and the human diplomat that was trying to leave after the negotiations. I was able to close up my bridge and smash a few while I was at it before too many of them made it inside. Needless to say, the humans were not happy afterwards and a war has been started.

[dogstile]

rhesus macheqes

so... many...

i got about 2 clusters on my map one after the other. They tore apart my fort...

it was TERRIBLE!

[Warhawk]

rhesus macheqes

so... many...

i got about 2 clusters on my map one after the other. They tore apart my fort...

it was TERRIBLE!

Did they steal forty cakes? And perhaps was one of the Macaques named "Lex" ? Because that's just terrible...

[Satarus]

I had that rhesus macaque thing, but with their bigger mandrill cousins.  My poor guard dogs' death was the only warning I had before my ill equipped starting 7 was set upon.

[Lord Shonus]

Smokeologist, what tileset is that?

[A Dwarven Smokeologist]

Smokeologist, what tileset is that?

http://www.bay12games.com/forum/index.php?topic=47236.0

That one and using his tweak for color in the init.