Hello again, little wamblers! You've all grown so much since we last met, and so have we! Oh, how you wamble so... That reminds me, what exactly
is wambling, and how do you do it? I shall soon learn this mystifying dance of yours and teach it to the others, so we might all learn your peaceful ways. The others have seen fit to give me another go at running the fortress, so again I shall tell you what changes I have made!
One of the previous rulers saw fit to change my title to 'Brickies,' probably because of the artifact I created that made me a legendary Mason. Well... I bit my tongue, and dealt with this nonsensical job description for a time, but now that I'm in charge I can reinstate myself as the fort's 'Wambler Whisperer!' This is a much better description of my capabilities, if I do say so myself!
It is 10th Granite, Early Spring, and there are humans outside. They don't appear to be moving... I order an area in the hillside to be carved, smoothed, and fortified, but it isn't finished in time before the humans make their first move upon the magma trap. A small number of them fall in, and they back off, again holding their position near the hillside. I hope that you, wamblers, will know well to stay away from this dangerous contraption!
It's about now that I notice something striking. Our food supply is quite small, and the farms are all left untended! There are 70 plants left to feed a population of 57 dwarves. Closer inspection reveals that farming has been disabled for 3 out of 4 seasons on most farms, and all of our farmers have been assigned jobs of pump operation! Which pumps, you ask? The wall of pumps just south of the farms! Why are there so many pumps?! Only a few would have been sufficient to train the skills of our dwarves! The farmers are removed from the shackles of their pump operation labors and set to seeding...
In addition, I set the plans for a greenhouse roof in motion, allowing us to build above-ground farms next to our underground plots. But we need to deal with that siege first!
On 28th Granite, Mörul Kelzedot bravely stands close enough to the humans to draw their fire, then runs back inside the way of the magma trap, luring in the intruders. Again, the humans are cautious, and only their horse-riding leader and one other member of the seige walk in while the rest stand warily at the edge of the first bridge. The trap flips open, melting the leader, and immediately the rest of the humans panic and flee, breaking the siege.
On 15th Slate, Mid-Spring, Nomal Shetbêtherush is inspired by our plight with the humans and withdraws from society to build an artifact from the leather shop! But, oh! Little wamblers, something you must understand about moody dwarves; if you leave them alone, they only grab the closest ingredients, not the best, unless they have something specific in mind! Therefore, I guided Nomal's hand toward the choicest parts for his construction - and oh, did it pay off!
A fire beetle chitin thong worth 110400¤? That's HOT! Ahem... oh, but do excuse the pun, dear wamblers.
I check again on our food predicament. Every single tile of the farm plots are toiled with planted seeds, but our stocks are now down to 11 plants total! Gracious!! The last time I saw power, we came close to running out of booze, and this time it's food. I'm afraid we'll need to slaughter some poor animals, then, much as it pains me...
There is an ample supply of horses and donkeys, so I choose all but one male for each and a few females to be sent to the butcher. You might not want to hear of this part, innocent wamblers... but after some time passed with no animals being butchered, I find that someone has locked the door to the butcher's shop!! I wonder... who would do such a thing, and why?? The food stocks diminish even more, and I unlock the door and have two new butcher shops made to triple production speed of meat, bones, and fat. As soon as the first horse meets the blade, I set a cook to rendering fat until there isn't any more, and this keeps him busy for quite a while. Once finished, he'll cook all the meat and tallow into easy meals - this way, the food goes farther and makes dwarves happier. Though personally, I balk at the thought of a donkey tallow sandwich...
On 4th Felsite, Late Spring, a terrible thing happens! I am careless with the orders of digging the greenhouse skylight, and trigger a cave-in! The dust throws îton Regeddud, Miner, into the wall of the entrance and breaks his left upper arm, right hand, and third finger, left hand, not to mention causing a lot of bruises. We're unfortunately down to one miner for a while...
On 12th Hematite, Early Summer, and even larger force of humans attacks! The cadets (I suppose this is our new name for marksdwarves?) are placed in position, and two waves of the siege simultaneously lunge themselves down the magma corridor, melting half of them.
((Movie))
Oh! But one of our cadets rushed out onto the bridge just as it was closing, and a fellow dwarf falls into the magma! The tragedy!! Why, oh why, hasn't this fair warrior been told of the dangers of this trap? He should have known better than to rush foolhardily into the human forces alone!
Oh, ho! It seems as if the humans think they have discovered a flaw in my clever trap! One soldier stands upon the pressure plate, holding the bridges up to prevent them from causing further harm to his comrades. A noble sacrifice, yes, but a foolish one! The backup lever closes the bridges again, causing his allies to rush onto them again. Many make it into the line of cage traps beyond the magma, and a final pull of the lever seals the fate of a large number of enemies in one go.
The military is taken off duty, and unfortunately, we soon lose a macedwarf to suffocation, most likely caused by Zon the speardwarf in a training accident. Curses! Well, the military is put back on duty, but it would seem this wasn't the only accident, as I soon find two others from the military are lying injured in bed. This wouldn't happen if we had more armor... so, I have more leather armor made and, since we seem to be lacking in all metal but copper, make copper chain and plate, as well as copper shields. When we get a chance at more steel or iron, we can upgrade, but I'd rather see the troops in inferior armor than
no armor!
I am feeling a great sense of accomplishment in my efforts... I believe I deserve a special place of recognition, and carve myself a circular bedroom, which surrounds my crypt! I think it would be prudent for my final resting place to be near my nightly one, so I place my tomb as close as possible to my bed, just on the other side of the wall.
On 17th Malachite, the magma trap is almost completely drained for the excavation of enemy weapons and armor. Little wamblers, do you scavenge so? Do you have enemies to worry about? Probably just cats, and you should know, we have no cats here! And somehow, we also have no problem with pests. This is very strange, but good, because it means I can talk to you without fear that you'll one day be gobbled up!
I notice that our mayor, Asmel, does not have proper quarters, and that we have no captain of the guard. I fix these problems next, upgrading Asmel's room, and appointing Shorast the Axe Lord to Captain of the Guard. What could possibly go wrong with that?
ACK!! My goodness!! I've appointed a serial killer to the captain of the guard!! In just one week, Shorast has killed three dwarves, all with names starting with the letter 'K!!' I missed the killing of her first target, but the second was a coffinmaker deep within the mines - she just came up behind poor Kulet and wedged her axe between his shoulder blades while he was working! I immediately relieved Shorast of her post after this, but her thirst for blood did not stop! Enraged by the loss of her position as Captain of the Guard, Shorast entered her bedroom as her lover Kogan slept and cleaved him asunder!
How dreadful! How utterly atrocious! How... how irresponsible of me to not perform a thorough background check of this individual before giving her a license to kill! I evict Shorast from her nice, engraved Captain of the Guard room and return her to a normal life... fearfully, we have no town guard to stop her, and as one of the few skilled warriors to protect our fortress, we cannot punish her. For some reason, I cannot find the body of Kogsak Paddleromances, her first kill, neither within the fortress or in our units list. I have no idea where he or she is! Kogsak is not listed amongst our dead!
I am deeply sorrowed by this display of ineptitude on my part. I must resign my post and contemplate my failures... Oh, many fluffy wamblers, judge me as you will, for I am a failed judge of intent, and this has cost unnecessary lives...
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Topic: Sparkgear IX - Revenge of Sparkgear [Magma flood in progress. Blame the Spoon] (Read 56573 times)