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[Radivnal]

So I have a bit of an uncommon issue...I've been playing on the same fortress for nearly 13 in-game years and I'm looking for bit of a change (this after scribbling various designs for new and Fun fortresses). The problem is...after pissing off elves, humans, goblins and megabeasts alternatively over the course of the last five years, I've been unable to lose...

The Setting: My fortress is placed in a flat woodland bordered by mountains in the north and east, it started out as a "hole-in-the-ground" design that I later expanded into a full-blown castle with adjacent magma vent. I have 230 dwarves (pop cap is at 200, but about 50 of the 230 are children) 50 of which are in the military which consists of half-marksdwarves, half melee champions. The castle wall is breached in three places with drawbridges over a water moat, two of which usually remain closed, leaving a main entrance which is typically guarded by three champion marksdwarves at a time from the top of the fortified wall. None of the dwarves are anything less than content and all the creature comforts have been established...even to the point of creating a huge 2 z-level room creating the effect of "islands" amidst an ocean of magma upon which the major families of the fortress are entombed...

The Problem: Obviously most of you are thinking "Duh, just abandon the fortress!" But as I'm sure you can understand, as this is the best fortress I've been able to build to date...I want to see it go down in a blaze of glory Fun! Optimally from invading nations. So far the fortress has been impregnable from a huge amount of cage/stone-fall/weapon traps I've laid, but I'm shortly going to tear them all down to make myself more vulnerable. The question I'm putting to all you brilliant minds out there is: Any imaginative and hilarious ways I can squeeze more Fun out of it?

(I'd post screenshots, however since I'm still a bit of a forum scrub I'm unsure of how to take them/put them up here.)

[metaliturtle]

What a great time to invent a magma cannon!

[bombcar]

Do you have Adamantite? Unleash the clowns!

[Tallefred]

At this point, invaders aren't going to be able to kill you. Once you have a few champions they can destroy anything the enemy will throw at you, and it sounds like this fort has been going on for ages so your champions are probably incredibly high level.

You could just hose the place with magma.

[Astramancer]

It's really easy to make an impregnable fort (heck, a simple drawbridge and moat can do that!).

My suggestion: Take down all the traps, never replace your military losses, and always keep a path open to the outside.  Eventually you might get bowmen or bowelves on cowardly horses - those guys are really dangerous and difficult to kill, because the moment you get near, they shoot you and their horses run away.

[Radivnal]

Hmm, I like that idea Astramancer...death by attrition. And yeah, out of my 37 champions, the marksdwarf champions have a combined rate-of-fire that would give an M16 a run for its money. The one reason I don't want to put it all in a big magma shower is because I'd like to explore it all later with Reclaim or Adventure Mode.

Thanks guys!

[shadowsofwhite]

Alternatively, you could go the route of the epic tantrum spiral! Find the most liked dwarves with the widest networks of friends, and lock them outside during a siege! Charge them with the defense of the fortress. After they die, neglect to bury their corpses, and limit your booze to only one type. You should have some FUN on your hands soon enough.

[shadowform]

Dump your food supplies into the magma.  Also works with booze on a map without water.

[Ieb]

Alternatively, dump magma into your food&booze supply.

[TKGP]

I think you've reached the point where you're obligated to build a water cannon and magma cannon facing each other over the main entrance. Turn them both on and rain obsidian down upon your foes. Won't really contribute to the death of your fortress, but it sure looks cool.

[Radivnal]

I think you've reached the point where you're obligated to build a water cannon and magma cannon facing each other over the main entrance. Turn them both on and rain obsidian down upon your foes. Won't really contribute to the death of your fortress, but it sure looks cool.

Of all the crazed, diabolical schemes born in the minds of dwarvenkind...

*runs off to furiously scribble up designs*

[Halceon]

Step 1: Open all entrances, station troops at them, create manager orders for several most vital fort functions.
Step 2: Remove all pausing/add an auto unpauser
step 3: Run the game
Step 4: Leave it running, return later

[The Mad Engineer]

Use dwarf companion to create a zombie outbreak from within.  All deceased units become skeletal/zombie.

[Lav]

Just turn off any compliance with export restrictions when trading and don't kill nobles.

Your dwarves will sell items prohibited for export, your nobles will punish them en masse, your dwarves will start tantruming and you will have a decent chance to get a tantrum spiral. :-)

[Sensei]

Mod all your invaders to HFS status, or more.