As for the aura of nastiness, I don't know whether it would draw people in because of the publicity or keep them out because of the false accusations. I'd lean towards the first but at this point it's a matter of opinions.
First I would like to apologize for pulling just this quote out of your post. There is much there of worth, so I hope by acknowledging that I will be excused.
This is a serious case of "forum logic", which is something we all see a lot of but hopefully we can educate ourselves to avoid, when someone is around to point it out. In this case it is important to realize that the fact that none of us here are properly qualified to make a judgement does not make it a matter of opinion. More specifically we have not done the research, nor do we practice the field of commercial videogame marketting. The important point being that something does not become a matter of opinion due to a lack of present experts, only a matter of conjecture. An important point, in my mind, as this amended view does not eliminate the possibility of a definitive answer.
Sorry for the difficult vocabulary, it's my education and the best way to lazily convey a point. I'm not trying to show off; it would be painful for me to sift through it and translate it into a larger number of less complicated and less precise words.
The thing is, is putting sexual dimorphism in the game sexist? I mean, if the humans in-game reflect humans in real life, what's the problem? I mean, the dwarves can be taken in any direction Toady or the community wishes (via modding), ditto with the elves.
I realize that I'm taking this sexism thing in a weird direction right now, but I don't think the Architect made sexist comments. Wait, who accused you of that?
Your point about the arbitrary nature of dimorphism in imaginary creatures is great. Dwarves and Elves can be whatever we want them to! But why have humans be different than we really are? I think the answer must necessarily be that most of us love the idea of a strong female warrior, and some people love the idea of sexes that do not differ substantially (which would be a horrible thing leading most likely to the extinction of mankind, by the way). *Maybe that comment seems a little off to those with an axe to grind on the subject, but think about the way the sexes balance each other out and it will make sense. I'm not talking about "roles", just reality. Men need women to keep us in check (just look at the troubles of any temporary all-male society) and from my experience with my 5 sisters and of life in general I will venture to say that women need men just as much.*
*That was a lot of typing I wish were unnecessary to excuse a single sentence, but in the world of the forum it is always necessary. I wanted to type f*ing necessary.
As far as who accused me of the sexist commentary, let's not go there. Trading accusations or flaming is exactly what I hope to avoid with this discussion, so a quote was intentionally avoided.