Turn 34!
Well, Bubs, I could you a fellow like yourself in my travels. Join me, and I will assure you that you shall not go hungry unless the same can be said of I. And here is your first payment; three gold pieces.
Head out of town on a wild adventure!
The little kobold accepts your gift with much enthusiasm, and decides to follow you towards adventure. [1]Sadly, you find anything but adventure. You don't take three steps out of the police station before a mob of citizens appears. Apparently they're all servants and serfs employed by the late Lady Honheim. And now that they're out of a job, they figure they might as well get some compensation; they figure your lives will be a good start. Antoine, the new captain of the guard, and three others step out and start arguing with the citizens, though you fear another riot may break out at any moment.
"Thug?!"
Rage at and ravage the kobolds so hard they think I'm a berserker.
[3] In a mild fury, you charge the kobolds alongside your companions. You swing at the devilish Kobold Commander. [2+2-1] Sadly, his flint armor deflects your blow. He smirks and begins chittering a speech that you're certain is very inspiring and hot-blooded but you really just don't care.
[2+1] Phil attempts to shoot the commander while it's distracted, but it does little to stop him considering it never even comes near him.
[2+2][2] Tim tries to snipe the shovel-wielding Kobold, but the soldier deflects the blow with his curious weapon.
[6+1][6][6] Utha, however, goes full-out blood rage after the slaying of her partner, and guts the sword-wielding kobold on her spear. He coughs up a bit of blood and his eyes cloud over for a second, before he backpedals away gasping for breath. He clutches the wound in his stomach and shouts "Kribbl chittpibbatchtch!" You have absolutely no idea what this means. (Utha, +1 to Sword!)
This is strange. I'm somewhat suspicious of this man.
Introduce myself, and ask of him.
"Who, me? Just me?" The stranger asks, in that peculiar voice of his. "Why, I'm a farmer! A simple man out in the woods, living a simple life, away from all the big, complicated machinations of the world outside! But you, Zolak hm? Tell me." He continues, putting his arm around your shoulder and laughing jovially. "Why've you come all the way out to my little corner of the woods? Where were ya going that put you on this path?"
Remove the spell, ask to be taken to the humans for the purposes of killing the invaders.
As soon as the kobolds see who you really are, they apologize, bowing towards the mighty monster-killers, and take you to the entrance of the cave. You get there to see that the Dai-Kobold Brigade has managed to slay one of the invaders themselves, though they're taking the worst of the fighting.
A guide?
Ah yes. I see you old man. This is perhaps a punishment and a lesson all in one? Send out the arrogant nephew to traverse the world with his perceived lesser's, and he will come back more humble, and wiser in the ways of the world.
(laugh)
A two for one deal. I get a guide, and a pseudo student.
Very well. Rest assured that your nephew is in good hands. Perhaps he will make a proper member of society yet.
(Stand up. Bow)
Thank you for this opportunity.
And as for you Glendil, don't expect me to be forgiving. You mess with me and the consequences will be dire.
Grab anything you might need for the journey.
(Turn to leave through the door. Pause.)
Oh, pardon me, I seem to have forgotten. I promised the mayor of the town over a treaty of peace.
(Take out another scroll. Write up a standard cease-fire agreement)
Terribly sorry, but could I bother you for a signature in Common this time? A signature in Old Elvish would seem out of place.
The old elf acts indifferent to your keen observations, if a little annoyed that you clued his nephew in on the purpose of sending him along. As Glendil leaves muttering to gather supplies for the trip, the old elf agrees to sign your treaty, if it will guarantee no retribution for his village from the attacks. He signs his name as "Gelvirol" on this treaty, and hands it back to you. "Now, then, you had best be off." He says, as Glendil returns with his pack. He also brings along an elvish bow and a suit of leather armor.
Appear
Back in the village, the people not rioting notice that a new stranger has appeared, this one dressed in robes and looking suspiciously like a giant tiger. They keep their distance from the man.
Enemies:Continue to defend our sacred village!
The Devilish Kobold Commander decides to face Red the Red in one on one combat. He takes his sword and lunges with much strength. [4+1][5][6] With a single blow his heavy mace rips through your armor, and sends a fresh spurt of blood and bone from your chest. The world begins to spin and lose color as you lay on the ground, nearly out of strength. (DKC, +1 to Sword!)
[4+1][5][4] The sword kobold lifts his blade into the air and nicks Utha in the face before stumbling to the ground from his own lack of strength. (+1 to Sword!)
[3+1][5][5] As Utha spins to face the sword kobold, the one wielding the spear jams his weapon into her back. A fresh jet of blood shoots out as she screams in pain.
[4+1][6][5] Before she can even counter the spear-bold, the shovel kobold leaps into the air, shouting a battle cry in his language, and brings the shovel down on Utha's head, shattering her skull. She falls over lifeless as the kobolds celebrate. However, their Devilish leader walks over and silences them. He picks up Utha's sword and points it at Red the Red. He then speaks in, of all languages, Common. "You can't match our power, invaders! Get out of here before we slaughter the rest of you!" (Sword and Shovel-bolds, +1 to Weapons!)
Name: Loktar Ogar
Race: Human
Profession: Mage
Skills:
* Arcane Magic 1/5 (2 to level)
* Silly magic 1/5 (2 to level)
*Potion-Making 0/5 (2 to level)
*Speech 0/5 (1 to level)
Companions:
Equipment: Robe (Body); Silly hat (Head); Crooked Staff (wielded)
Status:Great!
Name: Leif Kenothen
Race: Dwarf
Profession: Paladin
Skills:
*Healing Magic 2/5 (1 to level)
*Armor 0/5 (1 to level)
*Shield 1/5 (2 to level)
*Hammer 2/5 (2 to level)
*Speech 1/5 (1 to level)
Companions:
*Tom Bom the Evil-Detecting Puppy
**Status: Great!
*Bubsnik
**Weapon (Dagger) 0/5 (1 to level)
**Status: Great!
Equipment: Plate Armor (Body); Shield (Held); Evil Smiting Hammer (Held); Letter of Marque
Status: Superhuman
Money:
*7 Gold Pieces
Name: Zolak Slagem
Race: Dwarf
Profession: Warrior
Skills:
*Mace-wielding 3/5 (3 to level)
*Acrobatics 0/5 (1 to level)
*Armor 0/5 (1 to level)
*Shield 0/5 (1 to level)
*Speech 2/5 (3 to level)
*Unarmed 0/1 (1 to level)
Equipment: Thunder Mace(+1, Stuns, held); Shield(held); Chain Shirt(body); Book of Bounties
Status:Fine
Name: RAM
Race: Kobold
Profession: Warlock
Skills:
*Necromantic Magic 1/5 (2 to level)
*Silly Magic 1/5 (2 to level)
*Healing Magic 1/5 (2 to level)
*Arcane Magic 1/5 (1 to level)
*Weapon(Sword) 0/5 (1 to level)
Equipment: Black Robes(body), Wand(held), Daemonsword(+1, held); Cloak of Shadows(Shadow Teleport, back); Egg
Companions:
*Stinky
**Weapon (Crossbow) 1/5 (2 to level)
**Status: Great!
*Inkblot
**Weapon (Crossbow) 1/5 (1 to level)
**Status: Great!
*Eye-Drippings
**Weapon (Crossbow) 1/5 (1 to level)
**Status: Great!
Status: Great!
Name: Red the Red
Race: Human
Profession: Paladin
Skills:
*Weapon(Hammer) 2/5 (3 to level)
*Armor 0/5 (1 to level)
*Healing Magic 0/5 (1 to level)
*Shield 0/5 (1 to level)
Equipment: Plate Armor(body); Shield(held); Hammer(held)
Companions:
*Phil
**Weapon (Crossbow) 1/5 (2 to level)
**Status: Great!
*Tim
**Weapon (Crossbow) 2/5 (3 to level)
**Status: Great!
Money:
*10 Gold Pieces
Status: Dying!
Name: Derek Soulbinder
Race: Forsaken
Profession: Warlock
Skills:
*Necromantic Magic 1/5 (2 to level)
*Silly Magic 0/5 (1 to level)
*Arcane Magic 1/5 (2 to level)
*Speech 1/5 (2 to level)
Equipment: Black Robe(body); Dagger(held)
Companions:
*Metal-Arm
**Weapon(Arm) 1/5 (2 to level)
*Glendil
**Weapon(Bow) 1/5 (2 to level)
**Stealth 0/5 (1 to level)
Money:
*5 Gold Pieces
Status: Superhuman!
Name: Doompotato
Race: Tigerman
Skills:
*Arcane Magic 1/5 (2 to level)
Status: Great!
Enemies:Name: The Devilish Kobold Commander
Race: Kobold
Skills:
*Weapon(Mace) 2/5 (3 to level)
*Armor 1/5 (2 to level)
*Shield 0/5 (1 to level)
Equipment: Flint Armor(body); Flint Shield(held); Flint Mace(held)
Companions:
*Kobold Soldier 1
**Weapon (Sword) 1/5 (1 to level)
**Status: Poor
*Kobold Soldier 4
**Weapon (Spear) 1/5 (2 to level)
**Status: Great!
*Kobold Soldier 5
**Weapon (Shovel) 1/5 (1 to level)
**Status: Great!
How the hell did these mooks become the Quirky Miniboss Squad?