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[Apostolic Nihilist]

I figure I'll try a CYOA forum game, so here it is. I'll update frequently (whenever I'm bored) and take whichever suggestion is most popular. There will likely be some images/pictures occasionally. Expect them to be exceptionally badly drawn!

Let's start with something simple.

Character Creation:
You are a (teenager/kindly gentleman/university student) who holds an obsession with (canes/swords/pistols/<other>), wear (trench coats/business suits/designer fashion) and enjoy (planning heists/playing violent video games/trolling forums). Perhaps most important of all, you have an issue with the way things are.
Awakening one day, you cannot help but despair at how bafflingly (funny/communist/serious/<other>) the world has become. You are going to save the world -- you’re the only one who can.

>

Choose one option from each category!

As of death 1, drawing stick limbs due to author/artist raeg.

[PrinnyBaal]

Hmmm, I'll have to submit (Lawyer) with an obsession for <Ornate, business cards> (Seriously, those things can give nasty paper cuts) wearing (Business Suits) who enjoys (Developing and re-enacting unreasonable explanations for events). But most important of all- he can't stand how (Ordinary) the world is now. He's going to save the world from mundanity, one ridiculous event at a time.

...

Okay, yea. hopefully it develops well. Good luck.

[Apostolic Nihilist]

You are a Lawyer. Struggling to recall your name, you realize you've forgotten it, along with everything else about your past! How convenient. You decide that this will be a new beginning.

You look around your mostly-empty apartment and see a brilliantly drawn painting on the wall. There seems to be a book hovering next to the man, and the words "Sir Lawyer" menace above his head.

A chairless desk is situated below the painting. There appears to be a sheet of paper and a business card next to it. An oddly disproportionate door stands to your left. To your right, you glance out your window to see several large buildings outstretching in every direction.

You appear to be Downtown.

>

[Apostolic Nihilist]

You turn right, further examining your apartment. There is a strange bed, suspended from the wall. Above it is a tacky "painting" comprised of squiggly lines.

You see a motley assortment of ties hanging on the wall next to the bed. On the dresser-like object, there stands a hellacious pyramid.

This apartment appears to have been designed by a man with no understanding of societal norms. You quite like it... if only it were more ornate.

Tapping your foot, you ponder your next action.

>

[Flintus10]

> Check out the business card on the desk.

[SHAD0Wdump]

> Check out the business card on the desk.

While cartwheeling.

[PrinnyBaal]

> Admire the business card on the desk.

While cartwheeling.

Agreed. Make sure to do the cartwheeling. We can't just walk. That would be the obvious course of actions. Besides, we need to make sure we still remember how to do acrobatics. How could we ever manage to re-enact events if we couldn't perform all of the AWESOME stunts we are clearly going to have to demonstrate happening.

But yea, we should definitely stick to what we know. Which is business cards. And ridiculous explanations for events. I can feel a ridiculous explanation for why we have amnesia coming on.

I'm going to have to start by nominating someone must have stolen the mandatory potted plant in our apartment.

[Apostolic Nihilist]

You consider cartwheeling over to the business card for several seconds. You then realize how stupid that is: you'd crash into the wall! Not content with simply walking, you strike a compromise and do a handstand.

You might've been an acrobat before you lost your memory.

...Sadly this means you are in no position to read the business card. Utilizing your highly-trained problem-solving skills, you right yourself and pick it up. It reads:



Huh. You wonder whose business card this is. It's quite ugly, with those atrocious squiggly lines drawn over it! It looks like something a 12-year old could cook up in MSPaint for $5.00. The back is blank; what a truly fruitless endeavour! You slide the business card into your pocket but accidentally give yourself a papercut. Strange.

>

[Flintus10]

> Enact Vengence upon the business card.

[SHAD0Wdump]

> Enact Vengence upon the business card.

While screaming like Tarzan and beating your chest.

[Apostolic Nihilist]

Jeez. I need to consider taking flash tutorials some time.

GRRRR. You stare angrily at the business card before crumpling it between your hands! Compressing it with all your might, it appears to have vaporized.

You consider beating your chest like Tarzan while screaming, but decide that you're more civilized than that. You continue glaring angrily at where the business card was located mere seconds ago.

>

[SHAD0Wdump]

>Cut out nose from picture and tape it to where yours should be.

[Apostolic Nihilist]

HRGGHHHH YOU HAVE NO NOSE.

Seeking to remedy this obvious problem, while bleeding profusely from your wound, you climb onto the table and claw at the oil painting. Eventually you manage to tear out the piece with the nose and affix it to your face.

You are quite pleased with your handiwork.

>

[SHAD0Wdump]

Go find someone to bleed on.

[inteuniso]

Go find someone to bleed on while thinking hard about what other skills you might have forgotten you had.