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[The Architect]

So, my only case of a lost fortress occurred while I was online chattin' with Sava. I had these orcs show up, to my first anti-orc fort. I had all kinds of airlocks and shiz to shut off parts if it were invaded. I set up a magma flood for my entrance, and two bridges for stuff to get caught between.

Of course, when testing, I couldn't get any dwarf to pull the levers. It was an infuriatingly bad case of "choose the worst possible dwarf, and make sure he decides to go get a drink when he almost gets back to the meeting hall and lever". As a result of this grabass tomfoolery, an orc macelord got through.

A glowing blinking blue god of death. To top it off, Dr. Manhattan's name was about 2 pages long, and all of my dwarves were scared shitless of him because he'd been killing members of the civ in world generation. Anyway, I had decided to let them reap their reward for idiocy and insubordination, so I didn't savescum. I recruited the 34-odd adults and stationed them where Dr. Manhattan would shortly be coming down the corridor. He was still maiming random dogs, flinging them into walls and shit, by about the time 20 of them get assembled. He finished that and came down the hall for my dwarves. Lo and behold, only a few of them work up the courage to fight him at a time! With the various legendary craftsmen/recordkeepers I have, it's a cinch that they could take him down in a mob along with my relatively weak military.

But no. They have to go at him a couple at a time, while the rest generally flee in terror, then work up the courage to attack him when the others have died. Eventually, it becomes a case of a fortress full of terrified dwarves fleeing for their lives, watching their friends dying gruesomely one at a time as they either work up the courage to finally fight or get cornered and turned on their attacker.

It was the most pathetic display of dwarfsmanship I have EVER witnessed.

[Shurikane]

Part of my preparations for Project Cube involved digging channels in strategic locations in order to control the demolition of my environment.  As I did this, I pulled a Wile E Coyote.

I intended for an anchor point to remain solid and to have the map collapse around it.

Intead, the map remained whole and I collapsed my anchor point.

The one and only time I ever killed 182 dwarves simultaneously.

[Amalgam]

I've had two fun experiences in adventure mode. One time, I wanted to see if it was possible to make someone else catch on fire by attacking them with a flaming object. I started out in a human town with some levels in wrestling and armor user and made a beeline for the temple, not wanting to waste any time in my pursuit of TRUTH. I took off a leather glove, set a fire, dropped the glove in the fire and waited for it to ignite. I picked up the glove and started looking around for the priest (which I had just seen a moment ago) but I started taking burning damage and trailing smoke after a few steps. I finally find a victim test subject after I've got several yellow wounds and proceed to grope the unlucky person with my flaming leather glove. Unfortunately this person is the high priestess and has legendary skill in wrestling. No amount of groping will set her on fire and I get my ass kicked in the process. Then a guard comes around the corner and shoots me in the heart. By this time I'm completely engulfed in flames so as a last ditch effort I try to simultaneously run away from the priestess and strip my flaming clothes off. I didn't get far.

Another time I was fleeing from harpies and had the brilliant idea of using my 1337 swimming skills to escape from them. Only I forgot harpies could fly. And the pool was empty. Cue the "You slam into an obstacle!" message and a harpy grabbing me from above before I run to other side and they corner me. I couldn't climb back out but I was able to survive a short time with same fancy footwork. Alas, the harpies were too numerous and I was overcome.

[wagawaga]

Removing floors, I accidentally collapsed one single tile. Not a big problem?

It pierced through my meeting hall, my water cistern, my cloth stockpile, my dining hall and my nobles housing, where my administrator was quitely working.

Forgot to said, the water in the cistern was under the pressure generated by 10 pumps (I wanted the water to fill it fast, since the brook was on the opposite side of the map).

[Grendus]

Ordered my dwarves to throw a dig deeper skeletal mammoth off my death-tower. Forgot I hadn't built the cage on the tower, so they had to try to haul the megabeast-sized wild animal up 17 z-levels. They didn't make it two steps before the creature got loose. 10 deaths later, my champions finally show up and put the creature down. Luckily I had hammerdwarves to take advantage of the [SEVERONBREAKS] for skeletal creatures, and even more fortunately the 10 deaths had no military friends.

Another time I was sieged by orcs led by an orc elite sniper. I pulled my hammerdwarves back inside, hoping to let my marksdwarves do most of the fighting. It... almost worked. Unfortunately, an orc macelord managed to dodge every bolt from two legendary marksdwarves and made it all the way inside and up the stairs to my marksdwarf nest. He broke one's hand before the squad leader - a professional hammerdwarf and legendary wrestler who became a marksdwarf after taking a light gray brain injury - went toe to toe with him and held him until two other champion hammerdwarves caught up and killed him. The damage was done though, my hammerdwarves charged out to meet the orc sniper. 8 deaths later I'm fighting off a mild tantrum spiral. Luckily the only champion who tantrummed was the one with the broken hand, who was too much of a wimp to even get up. I did have a hauler break the lower body of one of my new fortress guardsdwarves though, and two more were chained up after destroying a few pieces of masterwork furniture (didn't bother the crafters, since they had made hundreds of masterworks by this point).

[The Architect]

So Dr. Manhattan got to you too, eh? haha.

[roger123275]

Removing floors, I accidentally collapsed one single tile. Not a big problem?

It pierced through my meeting hall, my water cistern, my cloth stockpile, my dining hall and my nobles housing, where my administrator was quitely working.

Forgot to said, the water in the cistern was under the pressure generated by 10 pumps (I wanted the water to fill it fast, since the brook was on the opposite side of the map).

And the problem is?

[wagawaga]

The dead noble was my legendary broker/administrator/mayor/record keeper, the only USEFUL noble in my fort (there was no DM).

If it was some other noble, I would have been disappointed that I had a water cistern, and not a magma one.

[Lord Shonus]

Part of my preparations for Project Cube involved digging channels in strategic locations in order to control the demolition of my environment.  As I did this, I pulled a Wile E Coyote.

I intended for an anchor point to remain solid and to have the map collapse around it.

Intead, the map remained whole and I collapsed my anchor point.

The one and only time I ever killed 182 dwarves simultaneously.

You, sir, are awesome

[Jake]

It turned out that the 'fire at will' command for ballistae meant something a bit different to what I thought it did.

The ballista in question also happened to be firing out across a courtyard where all my charcoal-making, smelting and forging was going on.

Oops.

[TerminatorII]

It turned out that the 'fire at will' command for ballistae meant something a bit different to what I thought it did.

The ballista in question also happened to be firing out across a courtyard where all my charcoal-making, smelting and forging was going on.

Oops.

"Look McUrist Coldheart ther goes McUrist The Slow... Lets see if we can tag him!"

"Ok Mc Urist The Wicked, Launching first roud!"

[silhouette]

It turned out that the 'fire at will' command for ballistae meant something a bit different to what I thought it did.

The ballista in question also happened to be firing out across a courtyard where all my charcoal-making, smelting and forging was going on.

Oops.

yeah, it really should be changed to "fire"
"fire at will" implys that the dwarf manning the seige weapon will fire when IT wants to, at enemys, not constantly fire...

[The Architect]

It turned out that the 'fire at will' command for ballistae meant something a bit different to what I thought it did.

The ballista in question also happened to be firing out across a courtyard where all my charcoal-making, smelting and forging was going on.

Oops.

yeah, it really should be changed to "fire"
"fire at will" implys that the dwarf manning the seige weapon will fire when IT wants to, at enemys, not constantly fire...

Indeed it does, and I think it fools everyone who uses it. Maybe "Fire at will!" is a function that will be implemented soon, and "Fire" will be added alongside it. I sure hope so.

[Lord Shonus]

It's not wrong. Dwarves simply always will to fire. They just like the sound.

[Blargityblarg]

It's not wrong. Dwarves simply always will to fire. They just like the sound.

TWANG CRUNCH 'Oh no, th' magma!' CRUNCH FWOOM 'OH NO TH' BOOZ'!'

30 seconds later...

My name is Catten Montoya. You spoiled my drink break. Prepare to die.