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[KineseN]

Hey, someone who ignore a possible eye infection is not greedy with life.

[ExKirby]

Kila, I win when I get maried to Juliet. The way this rolls, that won't be too long.

[Jay Kayell]

Satisfied that I am now sufficiently drunk to not be sober I shall head out onto the streets again, a bulwark of justice, a champion of law and order. Basically I try to find someone breaking the law and drag them to the dungeons.

[Sensei]

Don't worry, I intend for the waiting list to move forward one way or another...

TURN 6

Cheeetar (Dr. Worm)

I will climb onto the Eagle's neck, and tame it.

(5) You worm your way out of its claws and miraculously onto its neck without falling. (5+1=6)(6) You cut it open to see how it works so that you can better tame it. ...oops, looks like you cut the neck off. (2) You crash down in the burning, ruinous slums of Cheesebridge. You are wounded, broken, and surrounded by flames and- oh joy, dead bodies! If you get out of this alive, you'll have your specimen.

KineseN (Recital Sky

I see the destruction and mayhem and decide instead to start singing and dig around in ground zero for anything useful for a jester, completely ignoring my left eye. I'm specifically looking for 2 meters (~6 feet) of rope and more pie.

(4) You find just such a rope. It's a little dirty, but serviceable. (?) Nobody seems to mind you looting. (Auto-fail) If there's a pie here, it's been spread over an area many times that which it originally occupied.

Rooster (Bard)

Spoiler: Absurd Poem (click to show/hide)

Oh what's that
a pesky little rat?
No it's a foolhardy jester guy
With a humongurous pie!
I certainly hope
That I'll fall on that, and his rope
But oh shit, something I have to do!
Something magical too!
I summon with my music and wit,
A friendly big blue bird
That I will ride,
So that I can hide
from the opportunity of bloody end
It better work my friend!

(Auto-fail): You're in no place to navigate yourself towards Alex's pie and it's not big enough to do anything but get cream in your wounds. So, you decide to play a song to summon a bird. (3+2=5) You play beautiful music as always, and call to your side a grand... headless giant eagle? Oh well, best you can hope for. (6) You grab for it, but its greater drag flips you over so that you are now falling underneath a 600 pound dead bird. (1) You are so friggin' dead right now.

ExKirby (Alexander Kyrby)

I throw the "prisoner" to one side, then make my way to Juliet's room. If any guards ask me what I'm doing, tell them that I have an urgent message for her.

(2) Oh crud! Another guard notices you stuffing the dead body into a closet. (1+2=3) You remind the guard of the standard closet stuffing protocol for dead prisoners. It's complete bullshit, but you say it so confidently that the guard pulls out his rule book "just to be sure." (5)(4) BAM! You punch his stupid lights out. Into the closet he goes! You make your way to Cordelia's (hey, they can't all be named Juliet) room. Her steward (named Juliet, incidentally) says that she takes all of Cordelia's messages.

Jay Kayell (Urist McAsskicker)

Satisfied that I am now sufficiently drunk to not be sober I shall head out onto the streets again, a bulwark of justice, a champion of law and order. Basically I try to find someone breaking the law and drag them to the dungeons.

You head off to slums. Most of the fires are out now. Hey! You see someone stealing a rope! (?) You feel really sick.

[KineseN]

Man, so many gruesome ways to die.

Seeing the headless giant eagle crash (I mean, how hard could it be to spot one?) I scurry over to the body. I then try to locate the head.

Heh, ideas are squirting out like a fountain with a giant eagle head in my prankster arsenal. (Get it?)

[Jay Kayell]

"STOP! You've violated the law! Pay me a fine or serve your sentence, your stolen goods are now forfeit."

If the rope-stealer refuses to surrender I'll throw up on him and then smack him over the head with my hammer to make jailing him easier. If he does surrender I'll just throw up on him and then drag him to the dungeons, unless he can pay the fine of 2 Cheesian Crowns for stealing that rope.

[Sensei]

Enter: RandomNumberGenerator! Jetsquirrel and Tehstefhan need to post songs/names if they want in.

Name: Viper
Race: Human
Gender: M
Skills: Climbing (1), Jumping (2), Stealth (1)
Equipment: Lockpick, Knife, Bag, Rope (about 15 feet)
Description: You are tall and lithe, and like to wear dark, concealing clothing. You are extremely acrobatic.
History: You are a notorious cat thief. You've come to Cheesebridge seeking your most difficult prize yet- the king's Cheese Diamond, a fist-sized yellow diamond of immeasurable value.

[Rooster]

Ah, well
too bad.

[RandomNumberGenerator]

Hmm... what's the geography of the castle like? Is there a moat? Lots of windows? Watchtowers?

[kilakan]

man, I'm next yay!  can't wait, and I like reading your style, you've got a creative mind, headless giant eagle and all.

[ExKirby]

Improvise!

Tell Juliet the Maid that I just got an urgent one for Cordilia's ear's only.

[KineseN]

Adding to my action if allowed to.

If I get questioned by a guard, do a "Guess the Card" trick. If the guard(s) get confused run, if not paper cut him(her/it/them) with the card and then run away.

If not allowed, act like I never did post this.

[Cheeetar]

Time to dissect some bodies. On the spot. My knowledge must grow!

Also, do I get some sort of a bonus for expertly dissecting that bird or what?

[Sensei]

I've decided not to give skill increases for a couple reasons- first off, I want to keep it simple. I don't want to compose a complex index (as much as I normally love that sort of thing) of high-numbered rolls and whether or not things make you overshoot and so-on. And I do have creative limits, there's only so many ways rolling a 10 while trying to bake a pie can cause the apocalypse. In addition, I've not award skill increases already, and don't want to make the game unfair nor face associated comments ("I didn't get an upgrade to my DJ skill when I killed Mothra by throwing vinyl records, but he upgraded his climbing skill just by climbing on top of the bakery").

Also, I'm now keeping track of wounds on the bottom of each turn. And tell me if this first move here is too confusing to read, I'm trying to figure out a format I like when people absolutely have to interact directly. I might just (still quite bothersome and confusing for me) writing out the fight from each perspective.

Turn 7

KineseN (Recital Sky) AND Jay Kayell (Urist McAsskicker)

Seeing the headless giant eagle crash (I mean, how hard could it be to spot one?) I scurry over to the body. I then try to locate the head.

"STOP! You've violated the law! Pay me a fine or serve your sentence, your stolen goods are now forfeit."

If the rope-stealer refuses to surrender I'll throw up on him and then smack him over the head with my hammer to make jailing him easier. If he does surrender I'll just throw up on him and then drag him to the dungeons, unless he can pay the fine of 2 Cheesian Crowns for stealing that rope.

(4) Sky has a pretty good idea where it went down, and finds it without a problem. Man, that is nasty. (3) He barely manages to get it atop his small frame, but he is now carrying a giant eagle head! But wait, there's Urist McAsskicker! "STOP! You've violated the law! Pay the court me a fine or serve your sentence, your stolen goods are now forfeit." This motherfucker doesn't look like he's up for a card trick.
‼ALTERCATION‼
ACTION 1 Recital Sky: Run, Urist: Chase. (4+1=5) VS (6)
Result: Recital Sky runs as fast as he can, but Urist runs faster- in fact, Urist runs so fast he topples over onto Sky.
ACTION 2 Recital Sky: Don't die, Urist: Violence (5)(5+1)
Result: Smash! Sky is now unconscious with a (4) minor concussion. Urist takes him to the dungeon.

RandomNumberGenerator (Viper)

Hmm... what's the geography of the castle like? Is there a moat? Lots of windows? Watchtowers?

You scope out the castle. It is north of the town, and the river Fondue is south of the town, too far to be any sort of moat. The castle consists of four thick walls (no doubt containing rooms) and a 'block' where most of the north wall would be, which contains all of the royal chambers. A large tower rises out of here, home to most private rooms. The courtyard is home to the king's favorite blacksmith and the royal stables. The courtyard gates are open to the public (the smith and horsekeeper also ply their trades publicly) but the castle is guarded and only nobles or people on appointed visits are allowed in, except on holidays (Bree Day isn't for months). At the corner where each wall meets there are open turrets, and there are several open windows in the walls by your count. (3) You don't see any obvious routes in, but it is bordered by cliffs and steep hills to the north which you might use to your advantage.

Exkirby (Alexander Kyrby)

Improvise!

Tell Juliet the Maid that I just got an urgent one for Cordilia's ear's only.

(6+2=8) Juliet looks slyly down the hall, first to left, then to the right. She doesn't look quite convinced that you're alone so she whispers to you: "You got the goods? Let me see 'em."

Cheeetar (Dr. Worm)

Time to dissect some bodies. On the spot. My knowledge must grow!

Your ultimate objective was to bring as specimen back to the Haplotaxida Medical Institute, alive if possible, but a little research now couldn't hurt. (4) They breath through their mouths? That's disgusting! It also gives you a good tool for putting one unconscious without killing it, though.

Wounds:

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

ExKirby (Alexander Kyrby): None
KineseN (Recital Sky): Missing left eye (bandaged), Minor Concussion
Cheeetar (Dr. Worm): Assorted bruises and whatever else happens to falling worms. I'm not studying worm physiology.
Jay Kayell (Urist McAsskicker): None
RandomNumberGenerator (Viper): None

[Cheeetar]

Obtain a cart, obtain bodies, put bodies in cart.