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[Jay Kayell]

I tell the people that their dedication to me, and as an extension their king, is most pleasing, and then order them to stop the fires and clean shit the fuck up. Then I go to get a drink at the tavern.

[Rooster]

I set up a proper place on the street honey
and then I start singing pleading for money

I hope you don't mind
That my turns will be rhymed
I thought it'd be in place
But then again I'll hit someones face
When I'll must
You know I'm a person you cannot trust
I hope that action isn't harder to read
What an insanity seed!

[Sensei]

TURN 4

ExKirby (Alexander Kyrby)

Tell the jokester that I'll be back. Do some odd jobs around the city to earn some cash.

(6) You've got plenty of money now. You don't want to talk about why you're covered in egg yolk, metal shavings, and demon blood, but you've got plenty of money. You should be able to procure just about anyone's uniform.

KineseN (Recital Sky)

Try to not faint as I take one of the posters and with my string I create an eyepatch for my left eye. Try to stop bleeding if it hasn't already with posters as a substitute for bandages.

(4) You stem the bleeding. You still feel awful, and might need attention to prevent an infection, but you've mostly numbed over and stopped losing blood.

Cheeetar (Dr. Worm)
[/quote]Using my status as a 'generic animal'man, I converse with the wild and learn how to tame animals around me.[/quote]
(3) Since you aren't quite human, the forest decides not to gruesomely disembowel you. Yet.

Jay Kayell (Urist McAsskicker)

I tell the people that their dedication to me, and as an extension their king, is most pleasing, and then order them to stop the fires and clean shit the fuck up. Then I go to get a drink at the tavern.

(1) For a moment, everybody stops and stares, confused for a moment out of their panicking bloodlust. Then one man cries "Impostor!" and the entirety of the group attacks you. (1+2=3)(3+2=5) You're hit with a fairly large amount of farming implements, but hold fast with your armor and battle technique. (6+1=7) You kill them all. While the conflict is over, the town of Cheesebridge is now loaded with corpses and largely in ruins. Oh well, it was the crappy side of town anyway. On the way to the tavern, you decide to make a game of trying to step only on dead bodies the entire way. You win.

Rooster (Bard)

(Paraphrased) I sit on a corner and perform hoping to score some cash.

(3+2=5) Despite many of the people being in an angry mob on the east side of town, you still bring in enough gold to feed yourself.

[KineseN]

Man what an asskicker that Urist is.

I remember my old life before being the jester. In some very old memories I recall a shady "doctor", and make way to the slums of Cheesebridge, where his last known home was.

[RedWarrior0]

I join the waiting list.

[Rooster]

Oh joy, Oh joy,
For a small boy
In a hustle
I skip to the castle
I'm sure that I'm awaited
Because that's what my fate is
To bring joy to fat nobles
Drinking wine from thair goblets
When I get to the feasting room
I start picking out blooms
And by that I mean ladies
What a weird skill that is
But one that Bard enjoys doing
Don't mind the heart fooling

[Jay Kayell]

I find a vacant table, or inform someone sitting at one that it should be vacant, and then order in a large ale. And then I'll drink it while keeping an eye and an ear out for anyone violating the law.

And yes, it's true that I kick ass.

[Cheeetar]

Using my status as a pseudo doctorish sort of person, I try to figure out what the forest would be tamed with, and act upon this.

[ExKirby]

I has my uniform now. Then, I find one of the dead that wasn't too bad, and drag him up to the castle. When I get there, I tell the guards that I have a prisoner.

[Sensei]

TURN 5

KineseN (Recital Sky)

I remember my old life before being the jester. In some very old memories I recall a shady "doctor", and make way to the slums of Cheesebridge, where his last known home was.

(3)(Auto-fail) You dimly recall such a person, although you've been the Jester even since you got out of Jester College (god, the hazing there was horrible). Unfortunately it doesn't look like you have much of a chance of finding him- the slums are all on fire and the stench of burning flesh fills the air.

Rooster (Bard)

Paraphrased: I go to the castle to perform for the nobles and move in on their women, but it's okay because nobles are fat and ugly anyway.

(5) It just so happens that Duke Olithura (?), you don't remember what the name means, recently lost his last bard and has an opening! The guards let you in. (4+2=6) You performance goes wonderfully! Almost too wonderfully- you are nearly trampled by your adoring fans. (6)(1) You jump up to a ledge, where you can keep playing and not get laid until AFTER you're done singing, and pref-OHSHI-

You have fallen out of the window. Thankfully it's a huge tower, and you might be able to do something to slow your fall or catch yourself before you hit the ground...

Jay Kayell (Urist McAsskicker

I find a vacant table, or inform someone sitting at one that it should be vacant, and then order in a large ale. And then I'll drink it while keeping an eye and an ear out for anyone violating the law.

You order and ale. (?) You feel a little groggy. (?) As far as you can tell, nobody here is stupid enough to so much as jaywalk in your presence. Ah, the good life!

Cheeetar (Dr. Worm)

Using my status as a pseudo doctorish sort of person, I try to figure out what the forest would be tamed with, and act upon this.

Hrmm... well, they aren't worms... Of course, all your 'doctoral' status is in dissecting things! You really want a human specimen, but you can try what's here for now. (6) You grab a small bird right away (good reflexes!) and are about to cut it open, when it lets out an awful squawk. Above you see a Giant Eagle- this must be one of their juvenile specimens (you're pretty sure birds don't have a larval stage). (1)(4) The Giant Eagle rakes at you with its claws, and you dodge... no, you're pretty sure you didn't dodge them. But you aren't impaled either. Oh balls, it's carrying you. Below you see the burning slums, and near is Castle Cheesebridge, each nearly on the doorstep of the forest you have just risen out of. On one hand, this is the worst day of your life already. On the other, you've spent two turns in the Doomforests the Gruesome Disembowelment of Any and All Interlopers Whatsoever Also Goatanus and you still aren't technically dead yet, which is certainly an accomplishment.

ExKirby

I has my uniform now. Then, I find one of the dead that wasn't too bad, and drag him up to the castle. When I get there, I tell the guards that I have a prisoner.

You don a guard's uniform, and the 'Jokester' urges you to use it for semi-good. (4) The guards don't recognize you, but let you through with a 'prisoner'. You're lucky they didn't check for your papers, but there are a lot of guards coming through doing the same thing. You might not be able to pull this off when they aren't as busy.

[Cheeetar]

I will climb onto the Eagle's neck, and tame it.

[KineseN]

Never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down...

I see the destruction and mayhem and decide instead to start singing and dig around in ground zero for anything useful for a jester, completely ignoring my left eye. I'm specifically looking for 2 meters (~6 feet) of rope and more pie.

[Rooster]

Oh what's that
a pesky little rat?
No it's a foolhardy jester guy
With a humongurous pie!
I certainly hope
That I'll fall on that, and his rope
But oh shit, something I have to do!
Something magical too!
I summon with my music and wit,
A friendly big blue bird
That I will ride,
So that I can hide
from the opportunity of bloody end
It better work my friend!

[ExKirby]

I throw the "prisoner" to one side, then make my way to Juliet's room. If any guards ask me what I'm doing, tell them that I have an urgent message for her.

[kilakan]

aw when the title was all like OHSHI---  I had thought someone died.... COME ON DIE ALREADY so we can have a turn, stop being so greedy with your lives.