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[Humaan]

Just asking, am I permitted to change my name and song? I'm currently on the waiting list.

[Sensei]

Shoot. I have a policy of not thinking too hard about the characters before the circumstances that beget them arise.

In other news, I'm writing a new turn at the moment... but right how I only have access to my wii. This post took me around five minutes.

[Sensei]

If you didn't guess, I've been playing 0.31.01. Sorry.

TURN 34

Dragnar

Note to self: Do not anger the dock-master. It cannot be a good idea to make someone who can fire a harpoon gun like a crossbow mad.

Time to search more disreputable venues for clues. I'll find the closest den of villainy and scum to try and find some information as to Urel's whereabouts.

(4) You head to the other tavern. There's always some adventure going on there, but you make quite a point of avoiding it on account of the smell. However, these are desperate times, and they call for smelly measures. (6) You march in and announce your question: "Who's seen Urel Hardswinn?" You've learned two things in life: Half-orcs never have to be subtle, and if anyone in this tavern says something subtly, people will think they want to buy rope reed. The mysterious stranger (he's actually the barkeep's son, and makes money selling fake treasure maps) in the corner responds. (3) "Hee! I sold 'im one o' me maps! Though come to think of it, it might a' been one of the real ones... you know, I keep a few real ones to make sure the legend stays alive, of course. 'E must be out at sea right now, in the islands off the coast."

Taco Dan (Urel Hardswinn III)

Brag about my mad steering skills, then try following the map again, only do it right this time.

(4+1=5) Yeah! Who's the pirate? You're the pirate! (5) Upon reading the map, it becomes, rather clear to you that there's a key on this island that you need- specifically, under a rock in the middle of a clearing of trees. You gaze out over the island to see a forested area...

inteuniso (Mailex)

Head back to the human village to look for some... armor plates?

(2) It looks like this village simply does not make armored plates to the scale you need, although if you can get them you can probably work them into shape. But it looks like that means you'll have to (ugh) commission them. Welp, not much to do but act completely "normal". You walk confidently into the nearest well-established smithy. (1) "Get outta here ye' thievin' reptile!" The shopkeeper threatens you with an axe you think may have been designed for knocking down castle gates. While you would enjoy deep-frying him with your phaser, you're pretty sure that wouldn't help you get any metal plates- so you step outside for the time being.

Redwarrior0 (Red the Red)

Give them the scoop: there's a demon in the castle ruins that needs to be trapped in a crystal. They need to trap it and banish it forever. If they take it to the mountain, the survivors split the rewards. If they do the possession-thingy, whoever takes on the demon gets the rewards. Offer the terms on the flier.

(4+1=5) You make a dashing pose befit of the warrior poet you are! Surely any man to gaze upon you might do your bidding! And with that, they're off. You sure hope it's in the castle. Maybe the demon possessed a rat or something.

CJ1145 (Gitte Delvedeep)

Look up these fiend puppets. See what goes into making them; an extra pair of hands would be useful.

(2) The page is missing! Well, the page describing what it is. The recipe is in tact on the next page.
Aside from a buttload of rituals, it mostly seems to concern taking a full-helmet and putting a couple jewels on it, then mounting it onto a corpse. Well, presumably a corpse, given that ten inch screws are involved. It says the other option is to perform the rituals on a dagger, and thrust it into something, although the effect is lost should the dagger be removed. You're still not sure what it does though. A few pages later is a much simpler recipe for a pair of hands that do your bidding, albeit in a disappointingly un-menacing manner. You just need a set of gloves to make those- death crystals you have for now in decent supply.

Jetsquirrel (?)

Default: Train martial arts

(2) ...if by "train martial arts" you mean, "read Arachnofellow books" then yes, you succeeded.

[dragnar]

Bah, "He has a treasure map" does me no good! I'll yell "Any mages looking for a quick buck, join me my(oh right, I'm not the pirate here...) crew and help me hunt down that swine Urel!"

[RedWarrior0]

Time for the servants to start cleaning up! Find that damn duke as well.

[Jetsquirrel]

Get drunk and try to fly with fire....

[inteuniso]

Obviously that man needs to be taught equality and rights. Organize a coalition and get some metal plates from him!

[CJ1145]

Sneak upstairs and grab a pair of gloves

[Taco Dan]

Drop anchor and take a landing party ashore in a rowboat, then  continue through the forest.

[Sensei]

Ugh, sorry I failed ass at updating this. I can probably, probably, get back to doing something that resembles respectable regularity though. Mostly I'm just lazy.

Vote on continuing/discontinuing?

[RedWarrior0]

Continue.

[Cheddarius]

Fo' sho'.

[dragnar]

I. Must. Have. Vengeance! And that's not going to happen if there's no game!

continue.

[Sensei]

Alright, sorry this took me so long. 20 days, in fact. Heh, so much for respectable update schedule...

Turn 35

Dragnar

Bah, "He has a treasure map" does me no good! I'll yell "Any mages looking for a quick buck, join me my (oh right, I'm not the pirate here...) crew and help me hunt down that swine Urel!"

Knowing that booze is the source of all magical power (that's worth a damn, anyway), there's a good chance you'll find a seedy scryer somewhere. (3) "I'm a mage!" Slurs one of the patrons, who may be a mage or, for all you know, the barkeep's other son. (?) "I'll join yer crew and find yer mark fer just ten pieces o' gold..."

Redwarrior0 (Red the Red)

Time for the servants to start cleaning up! Find that damn duke as well.

You order your peons to work. (6) They get lazy and push most of the rubble into the shaft below the castle. Whatever; if the dwarves didn't complain when you just up and built a keep over their mountain hall they won't complain now. You... guess you can more or less start building now, if you've got the labor and resources. (3+1=4) You stand dashingly over the new field, and cast your fist to the air! This is where your statue will be built, you tell the chief mason. (6) He runs off at the order... Now, where's that damn duke? You have a very nice device- a tracking amulet. It works with three magically connect spheres that always line up. The duke wears one, and you have two that are tethered together. That way the servants can always retrieve him from whatever ditch he goes to sleep in and return him to his bed by morning. (?) On the good side, he (or the amulet) is moving... downside, it's in the shaft. Climbing down is possible. It is not, however, smart, nor even particularly dashing.

Jetsquirrel (?)

Get drunk and try to fly with fire....

(5)

SHIT YEAH
Well, aside from getting down -you'll run out of booze eventually- you seem to be remarkably unharmed by your scurrilous and reckless shenanigans. An army of peasants is cleaning up the castle below; which reminds you why you came out of your happy place in the woods (aside from booze). The demon. (?) You're not sure why you're thinking about it, or even if that's a good thing...

inteuniso (Mailex)

Obviously that man needs to be taught equality and rights. Organize a coalition and get some metal plates from him!

You are the most learned kobold on this planet, and you demand that you shall be treated as an equal! Most of the people solicit about it trace a symbol of a star on their chest and run away though, so you head to see if there's any other kobolds. The only ones you can find are living in a group of tents, roasting vermin over fires- what tragedy could have driven them out of their great cities, so that they must live in this squalor?! You beseech one of them to speak to you. (2) "Me Jreengusss."

CJ1145

Sneak upstairs and grab a pair of gloves

One must always keep their hands clean! Aw, who're you kiddin'. You're going to make them into evil minions. You move quietly up your stairs in the darkness... (1) you trip and fall down. (4) You're not injured, but you make quite a bit of noise and (3) wake up your brother. "I warned you bro! I warned you about stairs bro!" better make sure he doesn't rouse your parents!

Taco Dan

Drop anchor and take a landing party ashore in a rowboat, then  continue through the forest.

(4) Your men lower the rowboat and drop anchor for you while you stare into the middle distance dramatically. (2) They paddle ashore. You're not really paying attention though, and continue your piratey orders of "Keep rowin', yeh scurvy dogs!" and "Paddle men!" or "Row, row for tha' threasure!" Since no good captain listens when his men complain, they shrug and continue to paddle up into the sand. Normally you'd be all for this, but your entire away team collapses when you finally reach the border of the forest. Before you now stands a lush mass of coconut trees and thick ferns. And some sleeping pirates. It sounds like the rest of your crew is partying in the ship.

[inteuniso]

image
SHIT YEAH

LMFAO. That was another hilarious thing I saw today.

Detail Jreengus my predicament, and recruit him and his cohorts to my cause.