Part 5: The Dwarf Named Aelenus!
Another day, another fight,
The party pressed on through the night,
The hours passed, their power grew,
They even got some new gear too,
But now it's time for plot advancement,
So into the catacombs, we begin our descent.
Delrick the Oath-Breaker: No, really. There's a dungeon beneath the Temple of the Mad God. Trust me on this.
Frederick X: I just have a hard time believing that, Delrick. I'm not saying you're lying, but every time I've visited they just ask cryptic questions until I get bored and leave.
Delrick the Oath-Breaker: Yes, that's the trick. You have to answer the question correctly in order for them to let you in.
Séamus: They ask about their religion, right? I don't know much about them. How will we answer the question?
Zchris: We shall ask ZChris to answer ze question. Zchris shall charms zem into begging us to enter with much enthusiasms!
Delrick the Oath-Breaker: The answer is "Tarjan." It's the true name of their Mad God.
Frederick X: What? How do you know that?
Delrick the Oath-Breaker: There's a magic mouth on the bottom level of the dungeon beneath the wine cellar in the Dragon's Grog Inn that gives the answer.
Frederick X: ...oh, now the Dragon's Grog has a dungeon beneath it too? Now I know you're joking. Or is there a dungeon hidden beneath every building in this town?
Delrick the Oath-Breaker: No, only five. Look, just trust me on this guys. Remember, I used to be a level 19 pal- umm...a little bird told me.
Séamus: ...right. Well, I'm willing to give it a try. Shall we?
(A few minutes later)
Frederick X: Wow. There really is a dungeon down here.
Aelenus: EVIL HERETICS! I WILL SMASH THEIR DUNGEON!
Delrick the Oath-Breaker: That's the plan.
Deadlier monsters and better treasures,
These are an adventurer's chosen pleasures,
In the Mad God's temple, both are abundant
But what evil must herein lay dormant?
Frederick X: ...guys?
Séamus: We're working on it, Frederick.
Frederick X: No, really...guys?!?!?
Séamus: You're the conjurer, Frederick. Can't you conjure up some light for us?
Frederick X: It's dark and it's cold and I'm hungry and almost out of spell points and the floor is wet and...GAH! What's that noise!?!?
Séamus: It's a rat.
Zchris: Oh! ZChris likes rats. Zey are most excellent served with garlic, onions and eggplant.
Séamus: ...you mean ratatouille?
Zchris: But, of course!
Frederick X: That's NOT FUNNY. I'm serious, guys....I'm NOT HAPPY.
Delrick the Oath-Breaker: Just a moment, I've almost got the torch lit. ...there we go. This is the last torch, guys. Let's make it count.
Frederick X: Thank you. I feel better now. But could we rest for a bit? I'm starved. Have we any rations left?
Séamus: I still have one piece of elvish waybread left. You can have it.
Frederick X: ...bread...? I'm wet and starving and a rat's nibbling on my toe and we've been in this dungeon for hours we're on our last torch and you offer me BREAD?
Delrick the Oath-Breaker: No problem. I'll take it, Séamus. Thanks. *munch* *munch* Hey, this is pretty good.
Frederick X: Gah! I was going to eat that!
Delrick the Oath-Breaker: *shrug* You didn't seem interested.
Aelenus: HURRY UP. THERE ARE MORE EVIL DOERS OUT THERE I CAN FEEL THEM!
Frederick X: ...that was what I was afraid of. *sigh*
Séamus: By the way, Delrick...what's the story behind the catacombs down here? Why do the priests of the Mad God keep it hidden like this?
Delrick the Oath-Breaker: It's kind of a long story. Do you remember what happened to Prince Kayn's grandfather?
Séamus: King Aildrek? Of course, he died securing a decisive victory against the southern empire. It's a popular tavern tale. I still get requests for songs about that battle from time to time.
Delrick the Oath-Breaker: Yes, I've heard a few. But the version that you probably sing on stage isn't entirely accurate.
Séamus: Oh?
Frederick X: I'm loving the history lesson here, but is any of this relevant? We're in a dungeon and you're talking history from before any of us were born.
Séamus: I was very much alive back then. It was only 70 years ago, you silly, short-lived human.
Delrick the Oath-Breaker: Yes, Frederick, it's extremely relevant. You see, Aildrek was the last monarch to oppose worship of the Mad God. Their temples are fairly common now, but during Aildrek's rule, public worship of the Mad God was forbidden and their priests were routinely burned at the stake. Aildrek did everything he could to stop their church from growing.
Séamus: I remember. How does that tie in to the catacombs here? Are these graves here for their executed priests?
Delrick the Oath-Breaker: Most of them.
Frederick X: Gah! I'm surrounded by corpses of evil priests!
Aelenus: LESS TALK. MORE PUNISHING EVIL.
Delrick the Oath-Breaker: ...but there's also...a souvinir. You see, there were several major High Priests of the Mad Gods church at that battle Aildrek died winning, and when he died, one of them by the name of Bashar Kavilor retreived Aildrek's corpse and raised him as a lich, and imprisoned him here in these catacombs.
Frederick X: There's a LICH in here?!?!?
Delrick the Oath-Breaker: Yes.
Frederick X: And WHY are we still here!??!
Delrick the Oath-Breaker: Because we need to kill him.
Frederick X: You said he's a LICH. You can't kill him. Hack him to pieces and they'll just crawl back together. Burn him to cinders and the ashes will simply reform. That's the whole point of being a lich. They're immortal.
(A chill wind passes through, extinguishing the torch and leaving the party shrouded in darkness.)
Delrick the Oath-Breaker: I think he heard you, Frederick.
Frederick X: LET'S GET OUT OF HERE!
Séamus: Too late.
King Aildrek: Foolish mortals, I will drink of your...ahh, Delrick. So good of you to return after so long.
Delrick the Oath-Breaker: You have something I need, lich.
King Aildrek: Then come and get it, my prey. I miss the taste of your blood!
(Aildrek lunges and starts om-nom-nom'ing on Delricks' shoulder.)
Delrick the Oath-Breaker: AAARRRGGHHH!!!! DAMN I forgot how much level drain hurts.
Séamus: Umm...Aelenus? Now would be a good time to punish some evil.
Aelenus: MUST PUNISH EVIL!
Luna: Quickly, Aelenus! Take this broach and wave it over your head!
Frederick X: Whoa. Talking cat. That's pretty random.
(
Brief musical interlude. Well, not really brief. More like 45 seconds that could really be better spent fighting the evil lich munching on Delrick's shoulder and draining levels from him. Two levels, in fact. *checks watch* Aildrek did very well in the fight. He killed our stone golem in one hit and managed two hits on Delrick before Aelenus was able to kill him. I was expecting one level drain, but two was a bit more than expecting. *checks watch again* By the way, have you ever noticed how when you open a can of mountain dew, if you do it just right you can get a drop of liquid to splash out of the can? It takes some practice, but it's kind of a neat party trick if you get good at it. Speaking of party tricks, do any of you know how to do that pencil twirl thing everybody was always doing back in high school? It was one of the few things I wanted to learn at school but somehow never managed to...oh, the transformation sequence is over now. Ok. Back to the story.)
Aelenus: MOON...GREAT GODDESS...SMASH HIM!
King Aildrk: NOOO!!!!! I...must...drain your...ener... *squish*
Frederick X: What just happened?
Aelenus: EVIL HAS BEEN PUNISHED!!! BWAHAHAHA!!!
Séamus: Are you ok, Delrick?
Delrick the Oath-Breaker: ...I'll be fine. Aildrek and I go way back. He's not that tough, but he always seems to get in a level drain or two before he dies. It will actually help me in the long run since I'll get to make up those two levels later, but...meh. It isn't much fun. Anyway, here's our prize. (reaches over to Aildrek's writhing corpse and tosses something to frederick)
Frederick X: GAH! IT'S AN EYEBALL! I DON'T WANT IT!!!
Delrick the Oath-Breaker: Yep. Aildrek's left eyeball. Don't worry, he won't miss it after his body rebuilds itself. Let's just be sure we're gone when it does.
Séamus: Why are we taking an eyeball?
Delrick the Oath-Breaker: Even though Aildrek was raised as a lich, he still retained some fragments of memory from his former life. Before he was imprisoned, he struck one last blow against the priests of the Mad God by desecrating one of their most sacred relics. It's something they've been trying to fix for years, and I've always suspected that Aildrek wanted to keep an eye on their efforts. I think it will be an important piece later on.
Frederick X: ...ok, fine, whatever....can we get out of here now?
Delrick the Oath-Breaker: Yes, we're done here. By the way, what was that nonsense Frederick was babbling about a cat instead of helping fight while I was being eaten alive by the lich?
Séamus: Hmm. Now that you mention it, Frederick did say something about a cat during the fight, but I never saw it.
Frederick X: Ok, I'm casting teleport now! Anyone who's not too busy chatting and wants to go HOME, now's the time.
And with that, Frederick teleported the party out of the dungeon, and Séamus begn singing of Aelenus' great victory over the former King Aildrek
The Dwarf Named Aelenus
Fighting Aildrek in Skara Brae,
Winning treasure every day,
Always eager to make evil pay,
She is the dwarf named Aelenus.
She will never run away from a beat-down,
She is always smashing through the town,
She's the one who evil just can't get around,
She is the dwarf who says...
I WILL PUNISH YOU!!!
EVIL DOERS!
BETTER RUN!
OR I'LL SQUASH YOU!
With holy light and wrathful vengeance,
She is the dwarf named Aelenus.
(Brief mandolin instrumental)
Fighting liches, and doing right,
Winning love through strength and might,
With the aid of Goddess Moon's light,
She is the dwarf named Aelenus,
She is the dwarf named Aelenus.
She is the dwarf...
AELENUS!
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Topic: Let's Play: Bard's Tale 1: Tales of the Unknown (Read 19675 times)