I have always wanted to wright a story.
Last night I thought of some characters (Zoe and Ayanna) and I immediately jotted them down.
Hello, I'm called Zoe, I am twelve years of age. I have long black hair which goes a little way below my shoulders, though I usually tie it back. My eyes are bright blue," Like sapphires!" people usually say, though I'm not sure what that means.
I don't have a home, I'm a wanderer you see, always have been. Or maybe I wasn't when I was young, I don't remember. Perhaps I walked around with Mother and Father, but that cannot happen now, for they are dead, drowned in fact. One of the few things I remember is the stories of Old! I have always wanted to be a warrior, (like in the tales) and I walk around the country, learning and learning. I am sure that they would have been proud of me. Sometimes in my dreams I hear Mother telling me to believe, no matter what I do, just believe. And I am I really am.
Hello, My name's Ayanna. I am twelve years old.
I have lived at the temple all my life. I know I did have a different home though I don't remember it. I lived with my Ma and Pa somewhere a long way from here. My parents are dead now, drowned actually. But let's not linger on the past and return to the present. I have long fair hair, Dema always says it's like liquid silver, I usually put it up in a bun to stop it getting in the way. I also have bright, vivid, emerald gren eyes, "Like a cat!" Dema often reminds me. Dema looks after me like the mother I never knew. She was the one who told me the stories of old, who told me to believe in them. I am believing I really am. So much so that she gave me hope to become what I dream of; a warrior
That's it. I'll try and post up the story as regularly as I can, so, tips and critiques please!
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Topic: Sonearage's story - Critiques and tips please (Read 622 times)