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Ast Dallithkubuk, Mayor of The Leaky Noble
28th Slate, 206
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One thing I don't get is why everyone stands outside all the time. It seems a little dangerous if you ask me. What's the point of having an excellent trap system at our front door if everyone isn't behind it?
Pfft.. sometimes this fort seems like a nut house to me. 'We can always just sound an alarm and forbid everyone from going outside anyway.' they said. Whatever. They might as well hang outside in style though, so I'm setting up a statue garden. I see the way the dwarves look at me lately... I really need to stay on their good side if I want to get re-elected...
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Aban Kelidin, Brewer
14th, Felsite
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We're running out of barrels... I've heard rumours about the recent events that transpired here... they make me very very uncomfortable. I tried asking the farmers not to farm so much and pack up the plants full of barrels but they don't listen. Our supplies will last us for awhile so I better hope they realize the dire situation we are approaching.
At least the metal smiths and miners are TRYING to produce more barrels along with their other stuff.
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Ingish Obokadril, Miner
20th Felsite, 206
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do i look like a fucking smart fucker or something? that cockdocker, Asthole, keeps askin me when the water is gonna reach the well hole
how would i know that? all i know is that its stupidly slow, it'll probably take like a year at this rate goddamn. goddamn!
good thing no one is yelling at me for my design, jeez
i'm gonna have to fix the end of that tunnel when no ones lookin, i forgot bout settin up a pump up top, settin up a dwarven made room for the reservoir, and for some dick ass reason i set up this floodgate fortified wall shit
fuck, one of these days i'm goin to be callin the shots i swear, with how retarded stuff is around here
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The Leaky Noble Local Crier
26th Felsite, 206
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Tekkud Eshtanlektad, local mad-dwarf or genius? It has been confirmed by his local crafting peers that he has indeed locked himself up inside one of their workshop. They report that he spends entire days sitting at his station, muttering to himself components to some sort of unknown creation.
Only time will tell what will happen with this fellow and we hope to interview him when he is able.
In other news, there is a complete lack of shells in our stockpiles... more on that on page 12.
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Ingish Obokadril, Newly Elected Mayor of The Leaky Noble
17th Hematite, 206
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holy dick wagons! all i had to do was run for mayor and what do you know, they elect me
this is the best shitting day of my life i tell you what, haha! now i get to boss everyone around and make them do stupid things
my first thing that i'll do is ban people from givin away our copper
i fuckin love copper, that shit is the best holy fuck i love copper
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Hexon, Speardwarf
16th Malachite, 206
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For the past few days I have been directly stationed in front of the crafts shop. Get this... there's this mad dwarf holed up in there who has been sitting their muttering something about shells for months. I guess there was a chance of him going insane with rage at any moment and going on a killing spree!
So there I was, prepared for anything, when he finally stood up. He looked at me for a moment and then just starting babbling some utterly incoherent nonsense! He sounded like some sort of monkey or something, and he just started running around the room randomly throwing off all his apparels! Well, at least he wasn't hurting anyone. I just let him run free, he's probably out there running around naked in front of children or something.
I.. am quite disturbed by this ordeal to be honest. I'm not sure how much longer I can handle being a soldier if things continue at this rate...
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Tholtig Fuckingretardedlylonglastname, Recruit
27th Malachite, 206
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I can barely... write... so..... thirsty!
I was.... wrestling with a buddy... buddy got a little rough.. sorta got broken in a bunch of places in a bad spot.... now I'm in bed.
There's a well, isn't there? Yeah.. that's what they said... they said the water was coming in.... if I can just hang in there... by the time the water comes in... I'll make it, they say... I really hope that well project is coming along good.... it's my only hope..
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Ast Dallithkubuk, Broker/Treasurer/Manager
1st Galena, 206
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I may not be the mayor anymore.. but I'm still everything else important! I saved this fort once before and I will do it again, that I swear to you! Many drastic measures must be taken, this is not out of our ability to survive. As long as we work fast and efficient, under my lead, we will make it through this!
I researched our stocks and made a horrifying discovery... someone ordered the farmers to plant and harvest a VAST amount of plump helmets THEN this same person ordered the cooks to NOT use these plants for cooking! I am assuming that they intended to preserve absolutely everything involved with the process of creating Dwarven wine, and that was a sound idea... for a time.. was that me? ...I cannot recall, nor should it matter!
I revised these instructions to enable the cooking of plump helmets. Then I hired another cook and built an extra kitchen. I ordered both cooks to immediately start cooking lavish meals... which take 4 ingredients to make, in an attempt to reduce the plant supply as much as possible AND FAST!
But this is not good enough. I also had the farming fields destroyed, I cannot allow them to continue in this state. In addition, I have dumped out several barrels full of tallow, fat, syrup, milk, and the ones that have a scarce amount of plants.
The whole fort... is thirsty... I had to build another still right away, and assign the brewers to them and nothing else. They managed to create a few drinks, I think this will buy me some much needed time to catch up with the needs of the entire fort. There's only 1 or 2 barrels of wine now, and for some reason only one dwarf at a time will use one... this will leave many thirsty for even longer!
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Trogdor, Legendary Bone Carver
3rd Limestone, 206
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It has begun. I have seen the images on the wall, we all have. History will repeat itself, some of us will die of thirst, others will commit suicide, some will be murdered.
This first death by dehydration.. will mark the beginning of a downwards spiral into chaos and de-
Oh wait, isn't this the mad-dwarf who tried to make the artifact out of shell and failed?
Hahaha! My mistake. Now, diary, if you'll excuse me, I have a date with my bone spear.
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Ast Dallithkubuk, Legendary Trader.. for today
14th Limestone, 206
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They finally came. These guys were not a part of my plan to stabilize the fort, but they will be a welcome boon for sure.
I already have the booze situation stabilized, but I will take ALL their wood, booze, empty barrels, and barrels full of anything. This brings us up to around 700 units of booze, we really have it made now!
I am told we will only use 10 units of wood this year, 5 barrels and 5 bins. Their will be PLENTY left for next year for us to do whatever we wish. I advised our Mayor to keep some on stock at all times, however. We don't want any insane crafters failing to create their masterpieces and having to die for it.
I also bought all their turtles and cave lobsters... we need the shells.
I got some cages from them as well... these damn animals... those goddamned animals...
We also got some extra steel spears. That... failure of a soldier, Hexon, (my first impression of him was completely shattered) he recently went and quit his job. He's a hunter now I believe? Either way, he keeps getting spears stuck into Camels, then the Camel runs away, and the spear is gone. Incompetent fool... He can't even take down a single camel, even with a hunting dog helping him..... damn dog.
To get back on track now.... I also bought us a bunch of other military hardware, steel variety. Got a really expensive platemail suit for one of my newly trained soldiers (first to get to the armory gets it, basically).
Those merchants... they sure were crafty in their dealings... they demanded so much. They made a huge profit off of us... no matter... we have so much junk that it's no problem at all...
Overall, it was pricey but well worth it. This fort is lucky to have me..
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Olon Bimked, Wrestler
14th Limestone, 206
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So one of my squad died today. Good riddance.. You'de think a guy would be handle a little bit of dwarvenly wrestling, but no, he had to go and get his bones broken didn't he?
You'de think a guy could go on for a few months without any water, but no, he had to go and die of thirst didn't he?
Anyway, I'll be sure to pay my respects to the poor bastard when I get the chance. I just got armed with some new gear and a steel battle axe. I gotta get myself some practice... idiot Mayor has us training with steel weapons.. I swear someone is going to die again..
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Ingish Obokadril, Mayor
16th Limestone, 206
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that well is still dry, the water has made good progress but it's been slower than a shit in a shit.
oh, yeah. i went ahead and authorized the fisherfucker to do some fishing shit or something, he went and dug a big tunnel and a pond at the end of it near the fort or something since he noticed some fish in some water.
i like fish man, i like it almost as much as i like fucking copper, fucking copper man
one of these days i'm going to have to eat some fucking fish on a fucking copper table in my dining room, i swear to god if these dwarves don't make me a copper table i'm going to be so titting disappointed with life
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Hexon, Failure of a Hunter
1st Timber, 206
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I swear to god that spears are like the worst weapon for killing Camels... you know what, I'm just going to go back to military. The others are trained up well enough to survive sparring sessions with me, I don't need to live in isolation like this anymore.
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(Non RP note)
4th Timber, 206
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Okay so I sorta walled off the area where the dwarves like to loiter and set up a statue garden and stuff. But that's not the important part of this mini project. The important part is the bridge which is retractable in an emergency. I put the lever inside 'As Always' elaborate tomb. You cannot miss it. (Also, lol, the merchants were there the whole time.)
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Ingish Obokadril, Mayor and Creator of the New Well
6th Timber, 206
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that well of mine is almost done, just need some manual pumpin done. so i got the asshole who decided to put me in charge of making the well to do it, heh heh, Asthol the ex-mayor himself
fucking dick sag
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Astesh Sharbomrek, Mason
15th Timber, 206
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That foul mouthed mayor of ours doesn't realize it but if it weren't for us masons that well would not have been complete. By writing this down, let it be known by it's finders that it was not only he who created OR planned it. We had masons, architects, metal smiths, and other miners involved. Along with pretty much the WHOLE population that helped us carry out the stones in the way.
You know the walls along the end of the water tunnel? That was MY idea. I had that put there so that the water would have less area to spread to, and because of MY idea, our well was completed all the faster!
I for one will not miss our old mayor when he's unelected. He overuses profanities to the point where they lost all effect. Pitiful.
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Ast Dallithkubuk, Pump Operator, Pump Operator! PUMP OPERATOR!
27th Moonstone, 206
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Pump Operating, me! ME! PUMP OPERATE?! OF ALL PEOPLE!? I'LL SHOW YOU SOME PUMPING! I'LL PUMP AND PUMP AND PUMP!
Haha! You stop me from pumping today? Oh! You're worried that I might hit some unnatural rock and contaminate the supply! OH HO HO! Well you caught me fair and square. FAIR and SQUARE! Had I a little more time I would have been able to PUMP more water and it woulda worked too! But no! You were somehow smart enough to put in stone floor around the top level! THAT'S NO FUN AT ALL! I'LL FIND SOMETHING ELSE TO DO JUST YOU WAIT
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Ast gsaihauoweatusdhuspgFUCKahsugaANIMALSahljsghl
12th Opal, 206515316738
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KILL ALL
THE CATS!!
FUCK ANIMALS!!!
FUCK THEM!
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Vabok Locunerush, Animal Caretaker
12th Opal, 206
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Oh god, what has he done! Ast and his sleeper butcher agents suddenly arised and errected 3 butcher shops and just started massacring our poor cats! The monster!
He won't get away with this! If it comes down to me vs. the fort, I am ready! I have trained 27 war dogs and I am not a force to be ignored!
But I don't know... among my own animal caretaking group.. my own friends whom I thought shared my views on animal rights... they rose right up with Ast the newly risen butcher.. and I was not able to stop them.. I tried to let all the cats go but... they tracked them ALL down and killed every last cat that wasn't bonded to a dwarf!
Well, I got about 3 cats bonded to dwarves before they could be killed... that's the best I could do.. But as for the rest.. I will meet them again in hel- heaven!
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(My Project)
4th Granite, 207 (sorry I let 3 days slip by without noticing, got too absorbed into the project)
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Before my time was up I attempted to start a medium sized project. I got the basics down, but I had some wierd mechanical shit planned. Definitely had no time to get the mechanical stuff running and there's no way I can explain it due to it being retardedly complicated.
Here it is. It is supposed to be an incinerator/crematorium. I planned on having obsidian statues placed around it, and some bridges over a lava pit. I hope you will try and finish this project, I just hope it doesn't lead to your doom! (I ordered some bauxite from the dwarven traders, you might want to wait on some of that so you can get a flood gate; up to you though!)
Thank you all, and good luck.
File:
http://uploading.com/files/795e49c1/The%2BLeaky%2BNoble.rar/
Author
Topic: /v/'s potentially fail, fortress succession thread! (Read 37702 times)