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Author Topic: /v/'s potentially fail, fortress succession thread!  (Read 37155 times)

Zironic

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Re: /v/'s potentially fail, fortress succession thread!
« Reply #60 on: December 18, 2009, 07:49:27 pm »

Oh boy. We're getting fucked over already. Artifact fucked to be precise. I bet it's the lack of wood, it's gotta be. It shall be an interesting hurdle to overcome to be sure.

It says at the workshop: It'll say McUrist needs tree or something.
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powell

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Re: /v/'s potentially fail, fortress succession thread!
« Reply #61 on: December 18, 2009, 08:18:03 pm »

sign me up bros
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RavingManiac

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Re: /v/'s potentially fail, fortress succession thread!
« Reply #62 on: December 18, 2009, 10:59:57 pm »

You can use the Dwarf Fortress Map Archive to compress and showcase your maps/movies, and upload your saves to the Dwarf Fortress File Depot.

Welcome to the Bay12games forum. Enjoy your stay ;)
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Thief:"Quiet kitty, Qui-"
Cat:"THIEF! Protect the hoard from the skulking filth!"
The resulting party killed 20 dwarves, crippled 2 more and the remaining 9 managed to get along and have a nice party.

Kinoko_Otoko

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Re: /v/'s potentially fail, fortress succession thread!
« Reply #63 on: December 19, 2009, 01:18:47 am »

This is shaping up to be pretty good, actually. It's like Gilligan's Island, only there's no one clever like the Professor so everyone is getting all shitty.

Do we know if there's HFS here? If so, you should mine some out ASAP so king/queen will come join you, for Fun times.

I'm tempted to sign up... Ah hell, sign me up. No time now.
« Last Edit: December 31, 2009, 02:17:10 am by Kinoko_Otoko »
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Beanchubbs

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Re: /v/'s potentially fail, fortress succession thread!
« Reply #64 on: December 19, 2009, 04:17:51 am »

I'd join, but I'm sure you guys are having enough Funtm without me.  :D
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Yikes, the Orcs have a nasty language.  Traditional foreplay would be right out for them; how would they ever "say my name" for one another?  No wonder Ocrs are always so bloodthirsty and violent, they're getting sub-par action.

Anamabir

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Re: /v/'s potentially fail, fortress succession thread!
« Reply #65 on: December 19, 2009, 04:24:16 am »

>implying the fortress will live long enough for me to play
But sign me up, by all means.
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Keita

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Re: /v/'s potentially fail, fortress succession thread!
« Reply #66 on: December 19, 2009, 09:01:26 am »

You know what I'll join hopeing everything spirals into insanity so I can put the final hatchet into the heart of this place.

Second year and already it's awesome.
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Gravity is a government conspiracy to keep us down

Eruonen

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Re: /v/'s potentially fail, fortress succession thread!
« Reply #67 on: December 19, 2009, 10:10:43 am »

I'd join, but I'm sure you guys are having enough Funtm without me.  :D
You can still join, if we manage to hold out long enough.
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LegoLord

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Re: /v/'s potentially fail, fortress succession thread!
« Reply #68 on: December 19, 2009, 10:19:44 am »

Hey, y'all, you do know that the word "bro" isn't a friendly greeting, right?
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"Oh look there is a dragon my clothes might burn let me take them off and only wear steel plate."
And this is how tinned food was invented.
Alternately: The Brick Testament. It's a really fun look at what the bible would look like if interpreted literally. With Legos.
Just so I remember

Zironic

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Re: /v/'s potentially fail, fortress succession thread!
« Reply #69 on: December 19, 2009, 02:55:16 pm »

It depends, on my high school wrestling team we would call each other bro, breh, etc.
But in college, frat bros hate it when you say bro or frat. They're like, Dude, This is a fraternity, These are the brothers, not bro man.
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KaelGotDwarves

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Re: /v/'s potentially fail, fortress succession thread!
« Reply #70 on: December 19, 2009, 04:06:09 pm »

Brotip: we don't take the bro thing seriously, brah

>I know, cool story bro

Haar

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Re: /v/'s potentially fail, fortress succession thread!
« Reply #71 on: December 19, 2009, 06:02:09 pm »

JESUS CHRIST.
SORRY GUYS, BEEN BUSY DOING DRUGS AND THINGS THAT I WILL REGRET WHEN SOBER.

*ahem*

I'll start playing right now, so don't worry. I'll try to play a full year and try my best to write something... readable with my regular english. Godommot, if I had remembered this earlier... ;_;
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Haar

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Re: /v/'s potentially fail, fortress succession thread!
« Reply #72 on: December 20, 2009, 12:34:02 pm »

Allll right.
Play time is over bitches, time to get things straight.

-What winter left Behind-

...or so I would like to say. Coming to the fortress, I already find native sources of Fun. a Recruit throwing a tantrum? Unhappy dorfs?*gasp*... Cats?!? After quickly checking if I was not watching the TV report for a goddamn train wreck (DF's grafics where better than those on the TV, all of the dwarfs look like humans and they aren't engaged actively on murdering elves. But I digress.), I started looking for the workshops and how the dorfs where.
Searching the fortress for anything that was worth of note, I found magma. Hot magma. Delicious magma. And then I realised that I lack the skill to do anything with it, seeing that I never handled magma before. Anything having to do with metal that my other fortresses made was with the fun-less Charcoal and in the end all of my military was composed of Wrestlers. So, if I have some time, I'll play around with it.
Now, this is where the real year starts. For I am Haar, and I will lead this fortress to glory!... Or the best way to explode everything.

First, we need a bookkeeper. I looked into the soul of those Peasants, who were moved against their will to the Military by the tyranic goverment. Yes... those peasants would be of great service to me.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

I ordered some Traps from the Mechanic to be placed on the front entrance. It won't stop kobolts, but kobolts are the least thing that we have to worry about in this hell hole. I don't know much of the biome, so at least it will keep us protected from Snatcher Goblins.
And everyone is starting to work again, the butcher is killing kittens, the craftsdwarf is crafting, the fire imps and MagmaMen are leaving me paranoid and
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

...Goddamn it.
Ok, erm... I guess we don't really need a butcher since we don't have Hunters. And he is not really that strong--
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

GODDAMN IT. GODDAMN IT ALL.

Well, since everything has a good side, everything also has a somewhat funny side. Turns out that the Bowyer was locked inside a small cube, and was unable to eat or drink. The bad side to that not so funny now that I think about it side, is that a Bowyer will only reduce even further the resources of our fortress, since we need ammo. So, my hunter will have to kill camels with HIS BARE HANDS! RIP AND TEAR! I JUST NEED TO MOVE THIS PEASANT FOR THE HUNTING LABOR AND
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

...Well. Since I don't want any Tantrum Spirals...
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Ha! Take that, weird events that I have no control over!
...I have to admit tough, if one of those two die and the other doesn't, the tantrum that a Buffed up Super Tough, Strong and Agile will create will be far more powerful than one created by a not so strong dwarf. But whatever, this is a damn /v/ fortress, we not supposed to thik like that, we are supposed to think of how are we going to build thousands of Obelisks that resemble a pe--.... Wait, maybe that's just me.

Going back to the fortress, it seems like love can bloom even in most desolate conditions. How beautiful. I will have to remember to drown them in magma for having a better romantic life than I do.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

...That's not too hard, actually. Talking about romantic life, what happens if a Two Humped Camel breeds with a one humped Camel? They do that? The species actually hate eachother? They mock eachother? What about the Three-humped Camel? Do they really exist? Oh well, better stop increasing the size of my story so it looks like I actually did something.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Ahaha...what. His spouse died and he is still happy? Well... seems like they weren't made for eachother afterall.

So. After realising that I had no way to properly survive without water, I started channeling salt water to be turned into pure in a well in my fortress.
But something is starting to go terribly wrong.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

My hunter just decided to die to a naked mole dog. Wonderful. And the now newly-named Mole Dog killed one of my legendary miners. Honestly, I'm thinking that not arming my hunters with Crossbows is starting to become dangerous. I even have some puppy bones to spare, so ammo won't be a problem... I hope.

Also, did someone just said Tantrum spirals? The thing that I was hoping to never happen in the first place?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

What a great way to finish the... WINTER? I'M AT ONLY THE START OF THIS MESS? OH CRAP.
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Akigagak

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Re: /v/'s potentially fail, fortress succession thread!
« Reply #73 on: December 20, 2009, 12:44:41 pm »

At least it's the same guy over and over, and he isn't setting anyone else off.

Draft him, put him in a 1-tile-wide corridor, and then brick it up.
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But then, life was also easier when I was running around here pretending to be a man, so I guess I should just "man up" and get back to work.
This is mz poetrz, it is mz puyyle.

Haar

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Re: /v/'s potentially fail, fortress succession thread!
« Reply #74 on: December 20, 2009, 12:49:10 pm »

-What Spring will hopefully bring-

Honestly, starting a new year with less than 50 units of booze and some tantrum spirals is really bad.
At least SOME dwarfs are working. Like Luke.Evil, he is like the Kenshiro of Engraving and smoothing.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Well, that doesn't look good at all.Also, both of my hunters died. Yeah, the other two that I made use crossbows. Yeah, the ones that I didn't mencioned to you guys. ...Yeah.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Luke, thanks for the masterfull engravings. Really. It kinda ads a nice touch of sarcasm into the whole tantrum spiral going on. It also floods my Announcements page.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Now, I'm actually having fun. It's absolutely amazing the mental image of a dwarf, after losing lots of friends and being sick of his own life, let out a roar of rage and enter in berserker mode, just to be beaten to death by an armorer who just recently got drafted (creating another bad tought) who is also almost losing his mind above an Granite Table, while all the other dwarfs watch, just getting more and more depressed as they see their friends being juggled all around and finally closing their eyes. Yep, the graveyard stockpile will see a lot of movement. And I need mental assistance.


News flash people! Don't waste time doing crafts or other things, now we must survive.

And what's the best way to make a new start? Migrants!
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Now I just have to wait for the tantruming dorfs to die off, and I move the others that aren't unhappy (maybe 3) so that we can start again.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Scratch that, the unhappy are too much and I can't seal them off. But at least we got TWENTY MIGRANTS! TWENTY!
...Actually, nineteen if you count the one that this one is going to kill. Honestly, what is screwing us over are the moods. Next fortress, I'm drowning every moody dwarf in magma. And then sodomizing his family. And then eating his cat alive.

And this closes Spring. Yeah, sorry if this was not that much of an epic writing. I hope we die in summer so that I don't have to write again.

Post game update: Turns out, that dwarf with a bad mood didn't killed any other dwarf.
...I Think.
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