The arguments are laid down, the votes are cast, and all that remains is to wait until night falls for the final stroke. Minute tick by until the final hour tolls, echoing through the world as if to sound its doom. All light vanishes, leaving you blinking before a single spotlight snaps on, illuminating all three of you with harsh white from above. An echoing voice splits the heavens, the voice of gears and rushing water overwhelming all other sound.
And so we come to the end of the day. The choices have been made, for good or for ill. The votes have been cast. All that you have struggled for, all that you have attempted to do, all that you have pressured, analyzed, schemed, laughed, cried, lived, and died for, comes down to this moment. You have voted for Neruz to carry the weight of death, as you can see from the vote count:
LASD [0,1]
Neruz [2,1]
Vector [1,1]
And so let that weight be carried. Neruz, have you any last words?
Neruz stares in distress toward the ceiling, squinting against the light.
"
But, but I'm the Vanilla Townie!" he cries. "
I'm Town! How much more town can you get than Vanilla Townie?"
He raises his arms upwards as if in supplication just as a block of marble slices down through the light, it's polished surface seeming to glow brilliantly before it lands squarely on top of Neruz.
Neruz, Vanilla Townie, innocent and Standard Mafia Role, has been struck down!As Vector and LASD stare at the pure white block, the voice continues:
It is night. Go about whatever deeds you had planned, that you might live to see the morning
"
It's really a shame about Neruz" LASD muses "
Had some great potential as a mathematician, if only he had had a chance to develop it"
"
Yes, I'm sure" Vector mutters distractedly, pulling a silenced pistol from his uniform "
But now, if you'll excuse me, I have a world to rule"
"
A world to rule?" LASD exclaims "
Oh, this one."
He pauses, his brow furrowed as Vector aims the pistol at him
"
Yeah, you can have it." LASD says, seeming to have arrived at his conclusion "
There's not much interesting here anyway. Except..."
Vector lowers the pistol slightly, looking suspiciously at LASD. "
Except what, old man?"
"
Except, have you ever considered the optimal way to really run the world?" LASD continues, suddenly animated. "
I mean, any two-bit tin-pot dictator can get himself into a position of power, but what do you do once you're there? How can you know that you're optimally oppressing the people? How can you know that you are doing the best job you possibly could be at maintaining power? How can you calculate the maximum amount that your people can be made to love you?"
"
I... I'm not really sure." Vector stammers, clearly looking confused.
"
And that is why your reign will come to an end!" LASD exclaims triumphantly. "
Nobody ever rigorously proves their methods, nobody considers the economics behind their decisions, nobody considers the statistics behind the economics, nobody considers the math behind the statistics! It's always Fiat this, Junta that, and Crush the Resistance the other! But you, I can tell you are different, Vector. Here, look:"
As he speaks, LASD unpacks a portable blackboard and begins furiously writing on it. As if powerless to resist, Vector lowers the pistol and walks over next to him.
"
Here, see, we can start with the assumption that human behavior is economic behavior" LASD says, pointing to the board. "
We'll need to prove it later, of course, but it's a convenient starting place and I can tell you'll want to get some practical results fast. Now, this equation here can represent your total approval rating, taking into account your tax rates, media control, corruption ratings, oppression levels, and so on: again, we'll derive those later. Here, are you taking notes?"
And so the night began, Vector standing at the blackboard with LASD in a single bright circle against the blackness, scrawling with pen and pencil, chalk and eraser, mind and determination. First the outline was sketched, then LASD produced a coffee machine and a stock of amphetamines and the real work began. From the purity of math was derived the fundamentals of economics, from economics derived psychology and sociology, and throughout detours were made to ensure that Vector had the proper grounding in all the legion of fields that were touched. With the tools thus gained, the assumptions were validated and the lemmas proven, the simulations run and the inputs tweaked, the Markov chains adjusted and Bayesian models refined. All through the night the two worked without pause, until at last the light that they labored under was replaced by the rosy glow of dawn, and LASD held the final paper,
The Prince Revisited: A Mathematically-Sound Approach to World Domination, aloft. It menaced with spikes of logic and was engraved with equations for the fundamentals of all human behavior. It was encircled with bands of game theory and hung with rings of cliodynamics. And it was beautiful.
"
This one," LASD sighed, lowering the paper, "
is from The Book. My work here is done. Vector, it was good working with you tonight, but I must be off. Farewell."
So saying, LASD steps quietly through the fourth dimension in search of other places and other people with which to further the Art of Mathematics.
LASD, Paul Erdos, Mathematician and Serial Paper-Writer, has won!Papers for Everyone: Once all living players have authored papers with you, there is nothing further to hold you here. You'll wander off to find more people to work with, victorious.
"
Well." Vector muttered, drawing the pistol and casting it aside,"
I won't be needing that anymore. I've got a world to run, and run properly. I am the ruler of this world, and a ruler needs his crown."
Vector reaches into his pocket and withdraws a pressed olive cap, seating it firmly on his head.
"
Now then:
Citizens, rise and greet your leader!"
All around him, millions rose to heed his call, their loyalty complete, their devotion absolute, their possibilities unlimited.
Vector, Mao Zedong, scum and World Leader, has won!United Nations: If all living players are World Leaders, you'll give up on this pointless fighting to argue and debate about the proper direction of the world, and all declare victory for yourselves.
Game over (for real, this time!), LASD and Vector are victorious.
Author
Topic: Rysith's Semi-Bastard Mod Mafia (Game over, LASD and Vector win!) (Read 57582 times)