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Author Topic: Why did the Dwarf cross the road?  (Read 2946 times)

Rhenaya

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Why did the Dwarf cross the road?
« on: December 13, 2009, 11:56:52 am »
So yeah, why?
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From "Angroshs Kinder" Das schwarze Auge Zwergenhandbuch - (Angrosh Children, the dark eye, german pen&paper, dwarven handbook):
"Elves!? Their men dont wear beards, and their women bathe nacked to lure you into the water and drown you. Thank Angrosh they are as ugly as the day and all big and skinny."

sweitx

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Re: Why did the Dwarf cross the road?
« Reply #1 on: December 13, 2009, 12:01:43 pm »
Simple, because there's a -silk socks- on the other side.
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One of the toads decided to go for a swim in the moat - presumably because he could path through the moat to my dwarves. He is not charging in, just loitering in the moat.

The toad is having a nice relaxing swim.
The goblin mounted on his back, however, is drowning.

Grimlocke

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Re: Why did the Dwarf cross the road?
« Reply #2 on: December 13, 2009, 12:06:00 pm »
A !!XXpig tail sockXX!! would have been enough though :P
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Skorpion

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Re: Why did the Dwarf cross the road?
« Reply #3 on: December 13, 2009, 12:45:26 pm »
Because he'd been set to go Inside, and the overhang on the other side of the road was closer than the fort entrance.

To get away from the goblin chasing him.

To collect a kitten for slaughter.
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The *large serrated steel disk* strikes the Raven in the head, tearing apart the muscle, shattering the skull, and tearing apart the brain!
A tendon in the skull has been torn!
The Raven has been knocked unconcious!

Elves do it in trees. Humans do it in wooden structures. Dwarves? Dwarves do it underground. With magma.

FaultyLogic

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Re: Why did the Dwarf cross the road?
« Reply #4 on: December 13, 2009, 01:15:14 pm »
Quote from: Skorpion on December 13, 2009, 12:45:26 pm
Because he'd been set to go Inside, and the overhang on the other side of the road was closer than the fort entrance.

Thank you. You just solved a major problem of mine.  :)
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"It's unpossible!"

Itnetlolor

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Re: Why did the Dwarf cross the road?
« Reply #5 on: December 13, 2009, 01:48:57 pm »
He was on fire, and wanted a drink, but the booze stockpile was on the other side.
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Omegastick

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Re: Why did the Dwarf cross the road?
« Reply #6 on: December 13, 2009, 02:25:26 pm »
He was an armless champion and there were goblins on the other side
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Dohon

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Re: Why did the Dwarf cross the road?
« Reply #7 on: December 13, 2009, 02:42:54 pm »
... so he could flood it with Magma.
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Quote from: GuesssWho
Also, why is there a stray hen having a tantrum?
CLUCK CLUCK MOTHERF***ER

Julius Clonkus

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Re: Why did the Dwarf cross the road?
« Reply #8 on: December 13, 2009, 02:44:04 pm »
He was "A section of the cavern has collapsed!" to the other side. Against the wall. Where he blew apart. And his parts flew back onto the side where he originally started.

Problem solved.
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Quote from: Christes on December 12, 2009, 02:35:20 am
Holy schist, this thread is mica me sick.
Quote from: Greiger on August 18, 2010, 11:20:45 pm
DF Players never truly leave.  They just abandon the fortress for a few years and then reclaim.

SkyRender

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Re: Why did the Dwarf cross the road?
« Reply #9 on: December 13, 2009, 03:06:10 pm »
Because that's where the nearest sand collection area was.  Along with 50 other Dwarves gathering sand in that exact same spot.  Even though there were about sixteen dozen OTHER sand collection spots 2 feet away from it to gather from.
« Last Edit: December 13, 2009, 03:47:21 pm by SkyRender »
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killaconcarnage

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Re: Why did the Dwarf cross the road?
« Reply #10 on: December 13, 2009, 03:30:12 pm »
it didn't
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qwertyuiopas

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Re: Why did the Dwarf cross the road?
« Reply #11 on: December 13, 2009, 04:14:35 pm »
To get to The Lever(since The Noble had mandated his death!)
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Eh?
Eh!

Labs

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Re: Why did the Dwarf cross the road?
« Reply #12 on: December 13, 2009, 04:19:04 pm »
Because the carp in the river looked oh so friendly.
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I like to slip into bear caves around midnight and gently caress the carnivore inside before leaving a small cut of fresh fish and sneaking out.

RedWick

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Re: Why did the Dwarf cross the road?
« Reply #13 on: December 13, 2009, 04:42:06 pm »
Because he was propelled there by the Hammerer for not fulfilling a mandate for clear glass on a map with no sand.
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TheDeadlyShoe

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Re: Why did the Dwarf cross the road?
« Reply #14 on: December 13, 2009, 04:48:50 pm »
Because the safe path was on this side.
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