[size=9]Turn 22: Blatant Disregard of the 4th Wall[/size]
Power! Limitless Power
(5) Screw this, you think. You are tired of being trapped like this, being laughed at like some clown. You look up to the sky and ask, no, demand to whoever is listening for actually assistance rather than the asshat beat-around-the-bush they have been doing so far. You have served for long enough and now you want your reward. Suddenly, you feel yourself change, and you become stronger, and you bust out of the concrete prison like some boil covered Incredible Hulk. After freeing yourself, you here a small voice in the back of your head, saying "We're even" (Gained mutation: +10 strength)
[A quick note on mutations: during your travels you may pick up a mutation or two, either from being exposed to Chaos or as a gift from a daemon. some are simply cosmetic, others are helpful, or hindrance. Regardless, you can only take 1d6 mutations before becoming a warp beast, which essentially kills your character. The max amount of mutations you can hold are, naturally, hidden.]
Bah! Da weaponz iz un-Orky, but dey cud still make sum nice bashas! Grab 'em an start smashin' some 'eads, boyz!
I ride my Warbikk and strafe the Cultists, attempting to scorch 'em.
(4) You leave the lasguns and the other pile of weapons behind, telling your boyz to get moving to the fight (after pointing them in the right direction, of course). You then mount your ride to head off and krump some funny 'ummies (funnier than normal).
(5) You quickly zoom off, following your instincts to a proper scrap, and soon find several cultist firing at the Valkyrie. You ride right at them and fire the dakkaguns.
(2,2) However, even with the twin linked dakkaguns you are unable to hit jack squat. You then park up to the cultist and fire the skorcha
(5), hitting most of the cultist,
(6, 4, 4, 5, 6) killing them in a blaze of fire. You're as happy as any Ork can be. (+2 driver)
Well I guess that means I'm behind the cultists? Use the power of stealth to kill 'em all.
Hey, you're stealing my ride! If the Valkyrie takes off, I warp aboard.
(3) There is no point in sneaking behind the cultist, as they are well aware that you are there. They would have filled you with holes had not the Ork Warboss intervene, unleashing napalm onto the cultist. You take out your pistol and let out a shot.
(2) you miss, distracted by the fact that the mon'keighs had nicked your ride. Not about to be stranded, you decide to warp into the transport.
(3+1) You are unceremoniously placed into the back of the ship, finding that it was now filled with humans, one in particular in a fancy hat pointing his bolt pistol at your head. Oh my...
I smell the foul hand of chaos here, and they must suffer for this heresy! Go back to the valkyrie, kill the cultists with ludicrous application of tank and two-by-four.
(2) Your fourth wall breaking skills are not nearly as powerful as the Ork's, so you are unable to sense any nearby fighting. You simply continue to drive around, completely ignorant of your surroundings.
See what the near by fuss is about.
(6) You pick yourself up from off of the ground, and move over to a window to spot the Ork torching some chaos humans, and the Valkyire you were pushed out of flying off. Up from your vantage point, you take a few shots at the cultist.
(3+1-1) You hit one in the arm,
(1) but you have as much affect as a soft wind.
Stop mukkin around an getz to work!
(2) You seem more interested in picking the ear wax out of your ear to get to work. The other Orks give you a few strange looks, but you couldn't care less.
Sigh loudly and go find something to shoot at.
(1) You place your head in your hand, letting out a sigh of annoynce, and move to kill something. (4) However, you quickly find yourself lost again, unable to find the human vehicle or any notable landmarks. You wander around more, but you only keep getting more confused.
See if I can't let some of the marines get on board before I ditch this party. And then ditch this party. If anyone shoots at me, do a barrel roll. (Press Z or R twice!)
(4) You motion for the guardsman to get into the Valkyrie, as you plan on taking this bird for a spin. You disregard that fact that the Eldar is still on the ground, but that doesn't really bother you.
(3) You jam the stick shift, stall the engine twice, confuse the buttons for the spot light and the window wiper, and hit the dashboard at least half a dozen times over the course getting it to work, but you manage to get the thing in the air.
(4) You worry that the heretics might shoot at you, but you realize that that only have lasguns, which could barely dint the armor let alone bring the Valkyire out of the air.
Stomp da 'oomies
(4) The Orks run towards the fight, trying their best to follow their war boss. A though feat, considering that they're hoofing it unlike the Warboss himself.
(3) It takes them a little while, but they finally make it to the fight. however the battle is nearly over, most of the combatants running away or dead. That however doesn't stop the orks as the attacks the last of the heretics
(1,6,6,3) they rush in, swinging their choppas like maniacs, except for one who hits himself on the head.
(6+1, 4+1, 2+1)Thanks to their new an improved choppas from the Mek Boy, they easily slice through the remaining cultist (how many times have I said cultist?).
rd[/sup]]Safe for now
(6) The guardsman take the time to relax, unsure when they are force to fight again. But then without warning, an Eldar warp spider appers right into the middle of the cargo bay, taking them by surprise.
(5) But cooler heads prevail, as they notice that this is the same Eldar that was piloting, until the Techmarine took the spot. However, as a precaution, the commissar has his bolt pistol aimed at the xeno's head.
Run away
(1) The remaining cultist attempts to run for it, before on of the orks grabs him and pulls him back into combat, and gets ripped into shreds.
Name: Brother Divum Aequoreus
Gender: Male
Faction: Spess Mehreen
Status:
Burned right handSkills:
Competent Marksman (3/8) (+1 to all actions)
Novice Swordsman (1/4)
Dabbling Debater (1/2)
Novice Tech-marine (0/4)
Debbling Searcher (1/2)
Novice negotiator (0/4)
Equipment: Power Armor, Chainsword, Boltgun,
Inferno Gun armful of random weapons, 2x4 with nail in it.
Background: He's a warrior in the service of the goddamn God-Emperor, so he has spent all his life killing stuff that said God-Emperor has deemed heretical or otherwise deserving of death.
Name:Shas'Shavon Monat
Gender:Male
Faction:Tau
Status: Healthy,
Short of breathSkills:
Competent Ambusher (3/8) (+1 to all actions)
Novice Markstau (3/4)
Dabbling Persuader (1/2)
Equipment:Pulse Rifle with marker light,
XV-22 battlesuit,
Rail Rifle.
Background: An excellent shot even for a Tau and with a knack for surviving dangerous missions Shavon was selected for the Special Forces Cadres where he served for only 2 years.
Name: Alai
Gender: Male
Faction: Eldar
Status: Healthy
Skills:
Novice Fighter (3/4)
Novice Markseldar (1/4)
Dabbling Searcher (1/2)
Dabbling Medic (1/2)
Competent Warp Jumper (0/8) (+1 to all actions)
Tough (0/4)
Novice Mechanic (0/4)
Novice Pilot (0/4)
Equipment: Soulstone, Warp Spider Exarch armour, Power Blades, Monofilament Rifle, Jump Generator.
Background: A Warp Spider Exarch of the Altansar craftworld, Alai was separated from his home during the battle for Belial IV. Since there is even less information on Altansar's whereabouts than there is on the other craftworlds, he has yet to return.
Name:Handren Dedra
Gender:Male
Faction: Eldar outcast
Status: Feels like every bone in your body broken,
Pain Skills:
Competent Markseldar (2/8) (+1 to all To Hit rolls)
Novice Ambusher (0/4)
Novice Searcher (1/4)
Chaos knowledge (0/4)
Equipment: Soulstone, Ranger Long Rifle, Suriken Pistol, torn chameleon cloak, light armor, 2
Plasma Grenades, Melta Bomb,
Rokkit HammerBackground (optional)
Handren was originally from the Craftworld Ulthwe, but took the path of the outcast and became a ranger. He wandered for many years, returning to his Craftworld only in times of need and to accept tasks from the seers.
Name: Gobfang Wortbad
Gender: Male
Faction: Ork mekboy
Status: Orky
Skills:
Novice Shoota Boy (0/4)
Competent Mekboy (6/8) (+1 to all actions)
Novice Kunnin' Boy (2/4)
Dabbling improve fighter (1/2)
Equipment: kustom shoota (Upgrades:
Grip),
Kustom Slugga, 'eavy armor,
Cutting Torch, Mek tools
Background: e's on a quest. A quest to get enuff dakka!
Name: Tooftaka Gitbasha
Gender: Oi! Wuts dat thingz yoo 'umiez wot callz wumminz? Da Orks don' need no wumminz! Weez iz Orks!
Faction: Ork, Whatever group happens to call him Boss at the moment.
Status: Orky
Skills: Competent Choppa Ork (0/8) (+1 to all actions)
Novice Warboss (3/4)
Novice Rider (1/4)
Novice Searcher (2/4)
Equipment: Me best Choppa,
Plasma Cannon Me Ol' Armor, Sack o' Teef, Warbikk, 1 bundles of random loot, 1 bungle of lasguns.
Background: A particularly large and capable Ork who fancied himself a leader, who came to the planet in the hopes to gather the best Orks he can find, and get himself a proper Waaaaagh going, with which he can overrun all the other factions on the planet.
Allies: 4 Choppa Boyz (4/5)
Name:RAM
Gender: N/A
Faction: Chaos Space Marines, Nurgle, Plague Trooper.
Status: About as healthy as a corpse, infected with parasites, trapped.
Skills: Novice Cook (2/4)
Competent Medic (2/8) (+1 to all actions)
Novice Swordmarine (1/4)
Novice Persuader (0/4)
Very Strong (2/8) (+1 to all actions)
Mutations: 1
Equipment: Power Armour, Plague Sword, Plasma gun, cauldron(with food), Used Medi-pack, minus 1 syringe.
Background: An ancient and insane worshipper of Nurgle who seeks to promote health in others so that they are better able to appreciate and maintain Nurgle's gifts.
Ally: Nobi the Nurgling
Name: Sensei
Gender: M
Faction: SPEEEEESSSS MUHREEEEEENS!
Status: Healthy, King of Weasel Land.
Skills: Novice Pilot (2/4)
Novice Techmarine (2/4)
Novice Servo Arm User (3/4)
Novice Searcher (0/4)
Strong (1/2)
Novice Marksman (1/4)
Equipment: Repair kit, booze (The only necessary ration!), Laspistol,
Servo arms,
LascannonBackground: Marine Flight Engineer. Tendency to drink on the job. Which is why my ship is upside-down in that building over there. Grumpier sober than buzzed.
Faction: Imperium
Status: Healthy, 7 Guardsmen, 1 Commissar
Skills: Disciplined
Equipment: 10 Lasguns, 1 bolt pistol, 1 chainsword, 1 cool hat.
Faction: Orks
Status: Orky, 4 Slugga boyz
Skills: Waaagh!
Equipment: Improved Choppas (+1 to wound)
Name: TA-782C
Faction: Imperium
Status: Healthy, smashed window
Skills: Flying, Armored, Carrying Capacity
Equipment: Lascannon
Faction: Imperium
Status: Ready for War, defaced
Skills: Carrying Capacity, Heavily Armored, Machine Spirit
Equipment: Twin Linked Heavy Bolter, 2 Twin Linked Lascannons
Faction:Ork
Status: Orky, Pink
Skills: Fast
Equipment: TL Dakkaguns, Ejector Seat, Turbo (currently empty), Cup Holder, Hidden Compartment, Self-Destruct Button, DVD Player, Skorcha
Faction:Ork
Status: Orky
Skills: Fast
Equipment: TL Dakkaguns
Author
Topic: Roll to WAAAAGH! A 40K RTD Turn 25: Home Is Where The War Is (Read 54863 times)