Woah, this thread is just oozing Fun by the bucket! Let me add my drop.
I had modded my copy of DF to have Orcs and after fiddling with some graphic sets (fo' shit 'n giggles), I embarked. All went well, got some migrants, started creating goods. You know, the point RIGHT BEFORE Armok notices you and decides to smite you with some Fun.
My stonecrafter went moody. He started grabbing stones and I wasn't too worried. But then he needed some leather. Since the fort was brand new (and I forgot to order some leather or butcher a prowling deer), I didn't have any. He went berserk. My woodcutter passes by and I recruit her. "Sweet, gonna be nice." The stonecrafter wrestles her and crushes her throat. She is struck down. Amazed at his strength, I send in 4 wrestler recruits. Right before the first one makes contact, the berserker bled to death. Ah well, couple of coffins in the queue.
A child suddenly gets a mood. He kicks out my mason and starts muttering for gems. More gems, that is. I didn't have any for some Armokforsaken reason, so, I was waiting for the child to go all depressed on me. But then the goblins came. Nothing too grand, just 8 of them, 1 armed with a hammer. I send out 4 recruits (almost legendary pump operators), but they get slaughtered. Panicking, I drafted the whole fortress. After the dust settled, over 15 dwarves had died and 7 goblins were squished. Everyone seemed cool with it, except for my Jeweler. He started tantruming, but calmed down. Had a chat with the mayor, he tantrumed again. I order up some more coffins and a few extras, for good measure.
My mayor (who was my brewer) went mad, ripped off her clothes and started to crawl around the fortress. Then the child in the shop went berserk. My legendary miner got wrestled and LOST HIS HEAD! I kid you not, there was a dwarven skull right next to his body. Right after that, Armok really hit the fan.
My jeweller lost it and punched a hauler. He punched back. The captain of the guard wrestled the child to an unfortunate demise and after that, punched a donkey. The donkey owner then lost it and started beating up the captain. Before I knew it, half my fort was brawling like a bunch of drunk maniacs. A few recruits were sent in to keep the peace.
Then the Orcs came. And the gate was still open. Armok cut me some slack though and a scared peasant closed the gate. But by then, everybody sane was either dead or dying, so I opened the gate again. The Orcs smeared my halls with blood. And it wasn't Orc blood.
I sure as hell have some gems and leather in stock now.