Bay 12 Games Forum

Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
Advanced search  

Author Topic: What if the worldgen was one village?  (Read 7288 times)

mainiac

  • Bay Watcher
  • Na vazeal kwah-kai
    • View Profile
What if the worldgen was one village?
« on: December 04, 2009, 04:31:45 pm »

You all may be familiar with the (rather innacurate) "if the world was one village of 100 people?" chain emails that were going around a few years back.  Well, what if the worldgen was one village?

What if the worldgen was one village of 100 sentients?

There would be 8 goblins
There would be 7 humans
There would be 9 dwarves
There would be 74 elves
There would only be one megabeast...

There would be 12 men and 13 women
There would be 74 androgenous
There would be one tentacle creature who's gender is too horrific to imagine

There would be 14 children...
...12 of them would be in abject poverty
...12 of them would have no parents
...7 of them would look like a fearsome warrior
...1 of them would be "rescued" from goblin captivity and have over 13 kills

6 people would live in houses
8 people would live in a giant under ground cube
85 people would live in a dark fortress
1 person would stubbornly live in a forest retreat along with a vast collection of trophies

6 people would worship the dwarven pantheon
5 would worship the human pantheon
33 would worship the megabeast
56 would have forgotten which god they worship during worldgen

2 people would be miners
4 would be craftspeople
12 would carry things around for a living
90 would be warriors but only 10 of them would have weapons and only 3 of them would have armor
3 people would be bedridden with toe related injuries.
One would be a noble
Only one person would be an adventurer and she would own 95% of the world's wealth while 95 people would have no money and five of them would have no clothes

95 people would have never left home
Only two people would know how to swim
Only one would know how to throw rocks

So if you are an adventurer, and you were not kidnaped as a child and you have money and clothes and weapons and armor and you know how to swim and throw rocks and you are not an elf, be thankful for you are one of a very lucky few.
Logged
Ancient Babylonian god of RAEG
--------------
[CAN_INTERNET]
[PREFSTRING:google]
"Don't tell me what you value. Show me your budget and I will tell you what you value"
« Last Edit: February 10, 1988, 03:27:23 pm by UR MOM »
mainiac is always a little sarcastic, at least.

evanvolker

  • Bay Watcher
    • View Profile
Re: What if the worldgen was one village?
« Reply #1 on: December 04, 2009, 05:27:16 pm »

Awesome thread ;D
Logged

Retro

  • Bay Watcher
  • o7
    • View Profile
Re: What if the worldgen was one village?
« Reply #2 on: December 04, 2009, 05:31:06 pm »

I was fairly amused up until "12 people would carry things around for a living," at which point I snorted. Bravo.

riffraffselbow

  • Bay Watcher
    • View Profile
Re: What if the worldgen was one village?
« Reply #3 on: December 04, 2009, 05:36:04 pm »

There would be 14 children...
...12 of them would be in abject poverty
...12 of them would have no parents
...7 of them would look like a fearsome warrior
...1 of them would be "rescued" from goblin captivity and have over 13 kills
14=12+12+7+1


well, wait, i guess those conditionals aren't mutually exclusive, so okay, makes some sense

still, cool thread
Logged
"And God saw that the world was too moist, and that none of the Scorpion race could be placed upon it; and so he started over."

Quantum Toast

  • Bay Watcher
  • Schrödinger's Breakfast
    • View Profile
Re: What if the worldgen was one village?
« Reply #4 on: December 04, 2009, 06:04:00 pm »

...1 of them would be "rescued" from goblin captivity and have over 13 kills
You've got to respect a kid whose killcount is 1/8 of the world's population.
Logged
That would be as deadly to the wielder as to anyone else!  You'd sever your own arm at the first swing!  It's perfect!

Draco18s

  • Bay Watcher
    • View Profile
Re: What if the worldgen was one village?
« Reply #5 on: December 04, 2009, 09:03:57 pm »

...1 of them would be "rescued" from goblin captivity and have over 13 kills
You've got to respect a kid whose killcount is 1/8 of the world's population.

This made me, and my mother, laugh. :D
Logged

LemmingKing

  • Bay Watcher
    • View Profile
Re: What if the worldgen was one village?
« Reply #6 on: December 04, 2009, 10:07:56 pm »

All I can say is wow, but how did you figure this out?
Logged

mainiac

  • Bay Watcher
  • Na vazeal kwah-kai
    • View Profile
Re: What if the worldgen was one village?
« Reply #7 on: December 04, 2009, 10:53:42 pm »

All I can say is wow, but how did you figure this out?

Via an exhaustive method of pulling numbers out my ass until I couldn't think of anything more.
Logged
Ancient Babylonian god of RAEG
--------------
[CAN_INTERNET]
[PREFSTRING:google]
"Don't tell me what you value. Show me your budget and I will tell you what you value"
« Last Edit: February 10, 1988, 03:27:23 pm by UR MOM »
mainiac is always a little sarcastic, at least.

riffraffselbow

  • Bay Watcher
    • View Profile
Re: What if the worldgen was one village?
« Reply #8 on: December 05, 2009, 02:51:52 am »

All I can say is wow, but how did you figure this out?

Via an exhaustive method of pulling numbers out my ass until I couldn't think of anything more.
So, in short, with the same statistical methods of the original chain mail?
Logged
"And God saw that the world was too moist, and that none of the Scorpion race could be placed upon it; and so he started over."

3

  • Bay Watcher
    • View Profile
Re: What if the worldgen was one village?
« Reply #9 on: December 05, 2009, 09:45:16 am »

Let's do this.



Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Logged

Danarca

  • Bay Watcher
  • [MILL_CHILD:ONLY_IF_GOOD_REASON]
    • View Profile
Re: What if the worldgen was one village?
« Reply #10 on: December 05, 2009, 10:31:09 am »

Quote
136535 flies
GODDAMNIT
Logged
Clutter god the god of godly gods.
Om Nom nom nom nom
Ah yes the god of stone stockpiles, long randomly generated names, and gods.

Draco18s

  • Bay Watcher
    • View Profile
Re: What if the worldgen was one village?
« Reply #11 on: December 05, 2009, 12:45:22 pm »

Quote
252730 red herrings

:D
Logged

Myroc

  • Bay Watcher
  • Lurking Skeleton
    • View Profile
Re: What if the worldgen was one village?
« Reply #12 on: December 05, 2009, 12:59:14 pm »

Quote
252730 red herrings

:D
Now we just need 252730 woodcutters.

 :P
Logged
We all have problems. Some people just have more awesome problems than others.
Getting angry is fun. Getting angry over petty things even better.

Itnetlolor

  • Bay Watcher
    • View Profile
    • Steam ID
Re: What if the worldgen was one village?
« Reply #13 on: December 05, 2009, 04:21:18 pm »

Quote
136535 flies
GODDAMNIT
We're going to need a lord for those flies while were at it. I assume a child would do well for the role.

3

  • Bay Watcher
    • View Profile
Re: What if the worldgen was one village?
« Reply #14 on: December 05, 2009, 04:23:10 pm »

We're going to need a lord for those flies while were at it. I assume a child would do well for the role.

All we need now is a mountain.

By the way, the humans on that save are playable, so...
Logged