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Author Topic: Yet Another Social Help Thread  (Read 4499 times)

ILikePie

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Yet Another Social Help Thread
« on: December 02, 2009, 02:44:41 pm »

Hey folks, I'm looking for your wise and awesome advice.
Here's the deal:

When I was young (grades 1 - 6) I was sent to a strict Jewish school. For those of you who aren't familiar with this stuff, Jewish schools usually separate boys and girls pretty much from day one. This has, well, left me with strange antisocialness. Up until about a month ago, I didn't really speak to people, and had maybe three or four friends. I didn't really do anything after school and whatnot, and life was very boring. About a month ago, I decided I didn't want this boring life, and started to talk to people. My social skills ain't great, but I've made whole lot of new friends, and the random person knows my name. What I can't work out yet though, is speaking to them ladies. I don't really know where to start. Most people just walk up to them with a slightly aggressive approach, that works for them, but it doesn't work for me. I tried going for something gentler, but that leaves me with a dry and boring conversation (The usual "Hello", "Hi", "Its a nice day today" thing).

As you can you see, I'm not very good with this stuff. So ask you wise and thoughtful ones, how do I start a conversation with them ladies without looking like a moron, or being very boring?

*Note: This has nothing to do with any sexual or whatever stuff, I'm not looking for a GF (That's the next stage.), I just want people to know I exist.
« Last Edit: December 02, 2009, 02:47:07 pm by ILikePie »
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Mephansteras

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Re: Yet Another Social Help Thread
« Reply #1 on: December 02, 2009, 02:47:28 pm »

Girls are just people. If you're not trying to hit on them, for the most part you just talk to them like you would anyone else.
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Footkerchief

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Re: Yet Another Social Help Thread
« Reply #2 on: December 02, 2009, 10:05:03 pm »

Yeah, if that last part about "nothing to do with any sexual or whatever stuff" is true, why would you need to do anything differently?
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Idiom

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Re: Yet Another Social Help Thread
« Reply #3 on: December 03, 2009, 02:09:20 am »

Well, when you do set up casual contact with people and move onto "Step two", I also support the pursuit of girls to be done in a casual manner. You should always try to be friends first, because if that won't work, you'll never get anywhere with each other.

As for simply talking to women, you have to realize that they do not care about a lot of the things you do. They have a whole different set of subjects they find interesting or conversable compared to males. To not be boring, you should pick up on a few of these by observation.
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ILikePie

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Re: Yet Another Social Help Thread
« Reply #4 on: December 03, 2009, 08:14:21 am »

Ok, tried all that. It was going quite well 'til people got annoyed and I looked like a moron. Oh well, gonna try again tomorrow.
What about "Step two", how do I do that?
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Maggarg - Eater of chicke

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Re: Yet Another Social Help Thread
« Reply #5 on: December 03, 2009, 08:22:18 am »

Talk to them as you would anyone else. But less manly.
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eerr

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Re: Yet Another Social Help Thread
« Reply #6 on: December 03, 2009, 03:33:40 pm »

That school did not prepare you for life very well.
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Footkerchief

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Re: Yet Another Social Help Thread
« Reply #7 on: December 03, 2009, 03:34:57 pm »

Ok, tried all that. It was going quite well 'til people got annoyed and I looked like a moron. Oh well, gonna try again tomorrow.
What about "Step two", how do I do that?

What do they get annoyed with you for?  These details usually matter.
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Jude

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Re: Yet Another Social Help Thread
« Reply #8 on: December 03, 2009, 05:25:18 pm »

Girls are strange, alien creatures which we can never understand; you're better off staying away from them as they may be ritually unclean as well
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Idiom

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Re: Yet Another Social Help Thread
« Reply #9 on: December 03, 2009, 05:56:53 pm »

Quote
What do they get annoyed with you for?  These details usually matter.
That is absolutely crucial. You must constantly be self aware of what you are saying as well as the implications.
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eerr

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Re: Yet Another Social Help Thread
« Reply #10 on: December 03, 2009, 11:43:06 pm »

Quote
What do they get annoyed with you for?  These details usually matter.
That is absolutely crucial. You must constantly be self aware of what you are saying as well as the implications.
Aware, yes.
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atomicwinter

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Re: Yet Another Social Help Thread
« Reply #11 on: December 04, 2009, 12:22:08 am »

At least your stepped out of your shell. Grats  ;D

I have 3 good friends, and we hang out quite often. I don't care about having a bunch of nameless random people that I know a bit. Girls on the other hand, I am 15 and have not had a girlfriend since 5th grade  :o. It might be my lack of social skills, my social anxiety, the determination to never leave my cave, or my shyness around the other gender.

Well enough about me. I find that humor really helps shake off the awkwardness in any social situation. Girls seem to like the funny guy, so pick up a few good jokes.
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Psyco Jelly

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Re: Yet Another Social Help Thread
« Reply #12 on: December 04, 2009, 02:50:48 am »

When I was in high school everyone was a complete asshat. I wouldn't want to be friends with them even if they'd let me.
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ILikePie

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Re: Yet Another Social Help Thread
« Reply #13 on: December 04, 2009, 09:21:16 am »

Thank you for the comments all.
At least your stepped out of your shell. Grats  ;D
Thanks :D
I have 3 good friends, and we hang out quite often. I don't care about having a bunch of nameless random people that I know a bit. Girls on the other hand, I am 15 and have not had a girlfriend since 5th grade  :o . It might be my lack of social skills, my social anxiety, the determination to never leave my cave, or my shyness around the other gender.
I'm pretty much the same as this, except for the GF part. I think what got them annoyed was me being a bit too talkative, but I've got it now, ask questions and don't talk much.

I find that humor really helps shake off the awkwardness in any social situation. Girls seem to like the funny guy, so pick up a few good jokes.
I ain't that funny, well, not Hebrew. Hebrew is a second language to me. I'm not as fluent as am in English (And that sucks pretty bad 'cus Israelis don't speak English).
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Cthulhu

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Re: Yet Another Social Help Thread
« Reply #14 on: December 04, 2009, 09:57:46 am »

Slaves to Armok, God of Friendship Counseling
Chapter 2:  Dwarf Fortress


On a more serious note, I had lots of female friends in high school, and regularly went on friendship-like outings where males were significantly outnumbered (In fact, one time I was the only guy in a group of seven or eight people.  I didn't even realize it until after I had left).  I don't know if that was because I'm just naturally suave with the ladies, or if they knew I wasn't trying to get into their pants (Because I wasn't).
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