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Author Topic: What is wrong with me?  (Read 1654 times)

Dorf3000

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Re: What is wrong with me?
« Reply #15 on: November 28, 2009, 12:20:53 pm »

I think this idea needs to be combined with the guy who had the stripper cage in another thread.  Your DM needs some dancing girls!


Aaaaand now you know why the DM usually wears only cloaks and mittens....
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kg333

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Re: What is wrong with me?
« Reply #16 on: November 28, 2009, 12:39:41 pm »

I think this idea needs to be combined with the guy who had the stripper cage in another thread.  Your DM needs some dancing girls!


Aaaaand now you know why the DM usually wears only cloaks and mittens....

Could the guys in the stripper cage thread pass the brain bleach please? For the love of all that's holy please hurry!!!

Anyways, I like the room idea, and the idea of a DM that pleasantly helps everyone with a smile and a "have a good day!" only to return to his evil lava tomb sounds epic.  I agree that megabeasts or some such in more cages would add to the decor, though.

KG

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assimilateur

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Re: What is wrong with me?
« Reply #17 on: November 28, 2009, 01:06:46 pm »

Sadly, friendly units don't get the stasis field. Odd, huh?

Are you sure? I thought captured animals or enemies didn't need food because they... never needed food in the first place.
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Blackburn

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Re: What is wrong with me?
« Reply #18 on: November 28, 2009, 01:19:38 pm »

use the cages for Justice, so that any offending crimanals get locked up in the Dungeon Masters Tomb...that sounded spooky.
I was just about to suggest this.

The Dungeon Master running a literal dungeon.

And it's his bedroom.
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The Mad Engineer

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Re: What is wrong with me?
« Reply #19 on: November 28, 2009, 03:38:16 pm »

Urist Sealstood sighed, touching the cool surface of the elder cage before him.  He thought back to the rash decisions taken by the fortress leader.  Sure, the idea thrilled him at first.  A real dungeon!  In his bedroom!  And he got to laugh at Eral every day, that stupid prick.  But it soon got old.  He felt… betrayed somehow by his own wealth.  The poor peasants in the cages around him kept on staring on in the same state of shock as when they were caged.  They had come to the fortress, utterly friendless, to have parties and make lifelong companions.  But in their first party, they were drafted, and literally forced to cage themselves in an ingenious cave-in generator consisting of a bridge, a stone stockpile, and a row of traps.  And then Eral had started crying, pleading for the sake of his family and his pet donkeys.  That really took out the fun of having a rival caged in your room.

After long deliberation, he decided to go against the fortress leader’s zealous generosity, and free the poor victims.  Unfortunately, he didn’t have the keys to the locks.  So, like any other dungeon master would, he created an elaborate plan involving eight mechanisms, and an obsidian lever.  But alack, he had no knowledge of mechanics!  The linking process took excruciatingly long, as the peasants had to make the choice of partying next to the legendary well, or working in the creepy noble’s bedroom next to a moat of lava.  The prisoners started tantruming inside their cages, but even the strongest dwarf could not break the finely crafted feather wood bars.  Eventually, however, the system was set up.  Justice and mercy had come together to free the hapless souls.

Urist, still in the drink stockpile, heard of his plan’s success.  But due to the guilt he had felt for simply owning the cages, he had assigned the lever to himself and himself alone.  He ran to his remote bedroom as fast as his stubby legs could take him (After finishing his drink of course – he IS a dwarf, after all.), but it was TOO LATE!  One of the dwarves, a simple thresher, had died of thirst.  He didn’t even deserve to die.

With a gut-wrenching sob, Urist Sealstood released the drowsy, thirsty, starving dwarves, who ran to the stockpiles.  The dead dwarf, however, evidence of unjust cruelty, stayed in his cage.

Urist Sealstood took the cage filled with bloody evidence to a tiny, little known alcove in the fort.  It was the meager office of the legendary clerk, Lolor Amusehandle!  He looked grimly up, light streaming into his darkened room, warped by the flowing cloak of the dungeon master.  The visage sent tremors down the spine of Urist.  This was a man who had once been the leader of the fort, until the day he grudgingly gave his power to another, lesser being.  He had retreated from the day-to-day events, meticulously keeping stock.  His face was on all the masterful engravings (Literally on all of them; the legendary engraver has some sort of fascination with Lolor), and his work was in all the rumors.  With a brief nod to his fellow noble, he looked down, continuing his mysterious plans.

With silence and absolute secrecy, the dungeon master set the cage down in an unused corner of the room, the floorboards seeming relatively new, and not as covered in dust.  With a few tugs and pulls, the floor gave way, dropping the cage into the river of magma contained under the clerk’s office.  Lolor looked up from his work, pulled out a piece of obsidian, and once again, for the third time in the fort’s history, replaced the floorboards.

Urist ran out of the evil room, and returned to his bedroom.  He fell asleep with happy dreams of what he could do once the baron, tax collector, consort, and hammerer came, and dwarves could be caged that really deserved to die.

Such is a story of the damned room of the dungeon master.  An epitome of cruelty and neglect that could have been avoided had there not been so many parties, and the peasants could have finished the linking of the cages in time!

NieXS

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Re: What is wrong with me?
« Reply #20 on: November 28, 2009, 05:41:08 pm »

10/10, would read again.
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Shaostoul

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Re: What is wrong with me?
« Reply #21 on: November 28, 2009, 10:42:35 pm »

How'd you perform this caging of your own dwarves exactly? Or better... How do you get rid of everyones clothing so I don't have to worry about it lying around?
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Fredd

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Re: What is wrong with me?
« Reply #22 on: November 28, 2009, 11:41:03 pm »

To cage up a citizen, wound him first, then cages will capture him/her.
 Its a shame you wasted the set up on the dm, the hammerer would have appreciated it more, I think
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The Mad Engineer

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Re: What is wrong with me?
« Reply #23 on: November 28, 2009, 11:53:11 pm »

No, you don't need to injure your dwarves at all.  Its a well known fact that dwarves trigger traps when they fall asleep.  Its also a fact that they fall asleep because of cave-in dust.  Also, Cave-ins can be caused by building a floor supported by a bridge alone, which will also cause the builder to fall off the bridge and be unconcious.  Just combine these three facts to make a dwarf caging facility.

Picture:
dwarf to be caged:
 :)
----  +++
bridge  floor (designated)
                    traps ^^^  :) :) (More dwarves to be caged)

All in a closed room.  Perhaps with some viewing windows for the evil overseers.

Shaostoul

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Re: What is wrong with me?
« Reply #24 on: November 29, 2009, 12:10:05 am »

Thanks for the display The Mad Engineer. =-D
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I mod games and educate others how to do so as well, if you'd like to learn join my Discord and you can join a bunch of like minded individuals. (Presently modding Space Engineers and No Man's Sky.)

Looking into modding DF? This forum guide & wiki guide may still be a good start!

Urist Imiknorris

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Re: What is wrong with me?
« Reply #25 on: November 29, 2009, 12:13:27 am »

I tend to use grizzly bears for this situation, it's a lot more badass imo.

I mean, what's awesomer, a pet grizzly or an annoying bearded fellow crying for food (Which is what I imagine them to be doing after being caged in)

Like I said, a horse-sized arachnid.
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