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[Chutney]

You know, only the one group of vampires didn't drink blood in Twilight. A minority of a minority. Sure, they all have the sparkly thing but they also are bloodthirsty, some of them monsters. A major theme in the movies(probably the books, too) is the one "family" overcoming their bloodlust to live amongst humans and also not feed on them. The "Voltorre"(or however it's spelled) in this latest movie are the same vampiric monsters we've all seem before (the end of the scene with them has them luring a group of tourists into their throne room type area to slaughter and feed off of them).
Basically the Twilight vampires are not so far off from regular vampires, it's mostly just the Cullen family that's supposed to redesign(or whatever Meyer's intent was) vampires.
The movies could probably actually be pretty good if the actors weren't so (mostly purposely, from what I can tell) bad. Oh, and if the cinematography was better in some of the scenes. Source material, however, is terrible and always will be. The movies have the advantage of being able to pick and choose/reinterpret scenes so they don't come off as "RAPE IS GOOD!" or "WOMEN SUCKRULE!". (Neonivek brings up a good point that what most of us perceive as misogyny may very well be a poorly-made statement about the strength of women)
If only they had chosen to do some of the creepy stalking stuff better...

[Neonivek]

Women don't suck, that isn't what the books say.

The books say that women should be happy with what they got and not to take spousal abuse seriously.

Afterall how many times has Bella been in a "You couldn't possibly survive this!" situation or "This is impossible" and survived/ignored? I counted maybe 3-4 in just two books.

If that doesn't say "Women have what it takes to live with abuse" then what does?

[Jackrabbit]

Women Are Useless would be better than Women Suck, I think. Or at least Women Seem To Become Suspiciously Less Useful When The Boys Are Around.

[Neonivek]

Women Are Useless would be better than Women Suck, I think. Or at least Women Seem To Become Suspiciously Less Useful When The Boys Are Around.

What that isn't true! What about when Bella did... uhhh...

What about that other woman?

Hmm your right... Women don't seem to be able to do squat in Twilight other then take abuse and cover their wounds.

[Jackrabbit]

And then there's that girl who had a thing for Bella, one of the Cullen girls. She can predict the weather and kick the boys asses. Sometimes.

It's like she's got a faulty on/off button.

[Neonivek]

Yeah but she seems to easily break down when push comes to shove.

A little bump in the road and even she cries for Bella

Assuming it is the woman I am thinking of.

[Leafsnail]

I dunno if the author is trying to be sexist.  Probably just putting out her traditionalist views in a pretty moronic way.

[Neonivek]

It could be that she just doesn't care about progressitism and more into fanservice.

Which in a way could mean she is years ahead of her time.

I mean how often do you see Girly Girls who arn't witches or a parody anymore?

Then again I am giving too much credit to the author who basically put herself into a book (She is Bella Swan!)

[Cthulhu]

False:

Bella is an empty shell for the reader to project her own personality upon.

Bella is everyone.

[Neonivek]

False:

Bella is an empty shell for the reader to project her own personality upon.

Bella is everyone.

Her personality is a blank

Her apperance is that of the authors.

[ibot66]

False:

Bella is an empty shell for the reader to project her own personality upon.

Bella is everyone.

Her personality is a blank

Her apperance is that of the authors.

witch means... Its a cult!

[Aqizzar]

I'm suddenly realizing that if I were going to write a book making fun of Twilight, that means I'd have to actually read it first.  And I get the impression that it's pretty awful.  What a conundrum.

[JoshuaFH]

Isn't there a cliffnotes somewhere?

I'm surprised, that as large as the twilight fandom purportedly is, that not a single genuine fan has dropped by to espouse his/her feelings towards it.

[ibot66]

As an avid reader, I hate to say this, but just read the wikipedea article.

[Zironic]

Hey guys, guess what I'm doing this weekend?

This semester, I wanted to polish off my English-credits requirement, with the last open literature class.  Late 19th century Gothic.  The first book was Bram Stoker's Dracula.  And now we come to the final paper.  I have an option between analyzing some other Gothic text of my choosing (lame), or... making up my own narrative.  I don't actually have to write a book or anything, just a five page blurb and discussion about my concept.

Spoiler: The Next Great American Novel (click to show/hide)

Picture, if you will, a quiet American suburb.  Progressive in it's way, for a general tolerance of vampires.  Excuse me, the "vampirically effected", who despite the protestations of radio pundits, are fully entitled to the protections of the 14th Amendment and the Hate Crimes Act.  (In this case, vampires are more like Bram Stoker's original depiction, weakened but not harmed by sunlight.  As well as being a full rip of the TVTropes description of Twilight's vampirism - a combination of medical condition and lifestyle choice that grants superpowers, immortality, and great sex, but for some reason makes one a persecuted minority.)  Everytown USA gets by with it's simple little lives, little disputes, little conflicts, between the vampirically effected, those who love them, those who hate them, and poseurs who want to be them but don't have the guts to take the plunge.

Then one day, a man comes to town.  No one knows him, no one sees him.  But he's here to set things right - an ancient, contemptuous, coldblooded monster in the vein of Dracula or the Nosferatu, who's here to show these losers how vampires are supposed to roll, and have his fill of human cattle by hiding behind the tolerance for his weakling (and sparkly) kin.  Cue witchhunts, persecution, broken romances, and soul searching once the town sees how they tore themselves apart over one bad apple in a fair (but sparkly) bunch.  Lots of allusions to racism, extremism, "national security" type implications, the nature of poseurs, and the eternal question of "when does tolerance become dangerous?".

I don't actually have an ending or many specifics figured out, but I thought you guys might enjoy it.  Thoughts?

Stephen King did this.